Does anyone else have absolutley no self confidence?


New Member
Oct 31, 2008
Or is it just me? I feel so ugly, especially at this time of year when all the gorgeous people seem to be everywhere. Thing is there is also alot of not so gorgeous people out, showing all manner of lumps and bumps and not caring a bit about it. I'm so paranoid, when I'm talking to people I just keep thinking about how bad I look, it sounds really sad, I guess it is.

What can I do??


Well-Known Member
Jun 12, 2009
West Mids
Yes me too!! Not all the time, i just have 'bad days!'

On bad days i just obsess about how i look and think im unnatractive etc. On days like that it effects everything else i do e.g Work (think im crap at everything)

Luckily these days are a rarity (sp?) recently...when i was younger i just used to walk around with my head low all the time and avoided eye contact with everyone. But thats through being bullied all through school lol.

Since leaving 4years ago, my confidance has been on the up. But as i said still have the odd bad day thinking im the worst looking human on the planet LOL!

Not sure what to suggest though?? maybe confidance classes or somthing along that line??

Get your hair done? or have a make over? Buy some new slimming clothes?

Makes me feel more confidant :)


Well-Known Member
Feb 3, 2007
East Yorkshire
OMG yes!!!

I have had low or no self esteem all my life,though am only 18. It didn't help that i was bullied for 5 years ( something happened nearly everyday):help:

That was really hard, though i suffer with severe depression and when am depressed that awful. Saying that if i make an effort and look good i feel good:)

I am naturally thin and people say how they would love my figure, yet i feel awful in it i really hate it. though most of the times i dont care :)

There are alot of times when i feel i wish i was at pretty as her though

But i agree with above :)


New Member
Jun 1, 2009
Yes me, me, me!! I always put myself down and say i'm ugly, mainly because i am in my eyes.

I have real issues with my weight and hate my legs. Doesn't help when i work with all men and they think a gorgeous woman is a leggy tanned blonde :redface: makes me feel rather frumpy and past it :unsure:

My OH wants me to get counselling to help my confidence but i can't see how talking to a stranger can help me.


New Member
Oct 21, 2009
I think most people have low points, I am generally quite confident but have bad days like anyone. I am nervous meeting new people but found the best thing is to just PRETEND you're confident - even if you feel like a quivering blob of nervous jelly try to act how you think you would be if you were happy, confident and relaxed. After a while it becomes normal :) not sure if that's any help. I still blurt out random things and then scrabble around to cover it up :eek:


Active Member
Aug 15, 2005
Oh Honey . . . here's a big Momma hug from me. I do know how you feel . . . but really, and here comes the biggest cliche of all, you just need to learn to love yourself. Be with positive people . . . people who are positive about you. Avoid watching most/all American TV shows in which everyone is perfect. Watch Gok Kwan. Look in the mirror and find ONE physical attribute you admire (can be as simple as your eyebrows). Go for a walk. Get outside yourself. Give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself.

N xx


Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2004
On an island
I used to have low self confidence but I think its getting better! Sounds really daft but the happier I am with my horses, the better I feel about myself, by that, I mean the more success I have with them, be it either on the ground or ridden. I don't obsess like I used to about lumps and bumps and spots and wrinkles, I am currently losing weight, so feel better about myself because that was long-overdue!
I think we all have bits that we'd rather not have, but as Nimbus says, there will be at least one part that you can honestly admire about yourself - even if its eyelashes or a lovely pair of hands!
To others in this world we are all probably lovely and quite perfect in lots of ways, just that the pity is we don't see it about ourselves. We need to learn to love ourselves thats what it is!!!!

Luna Corona

New Member
Sep 7, 2009
I've gone from having no confidence in myself to knowing exactly who I am and what my capabilities are, it's just other people's perceptions of me that I don't trust. I don't know if I'd call myself ugly (any longer), but I'm not the most feminine of persons and therefore see myself as female whilst shying away from classing myself as a woman. It's not difficult for me to hide in kinds of clothing that have people look at me twice for wearing and for small kids to question if that's a boy or girl, but to be perfectly honest, I don't care. I suppose being not that long out of my one and only relationship where I was simply being used for a number of years to get him where he wanted to be in the world has taught me to trust only my own feelings, and not anyone else's opinions.


New Member
Jul 4, 2010
sunny Suffolk
Get a really good haircut that suits your face, and use tons of product to keep it in place (hairspray, moose, gel etc)
Only wear flattering clothes, nothing tight or with belly showing. They do exist!
Get a bit of a tan (always makes me look better).
Stand upright and do not slouch.
There you go - a beautiful woman.:wavespin:

(On a bad hair day I feel awful, my work clothes make me feel awful and when I am grumpy I feel about 60!) I am only 44!


New Member
Oct 21, 2008
spoiling yourself is known to shoot confidence up ;) get some nice new clothes and try out some nice natural looking make up, it can really give you a new drive to go out there and have fun and not be worrying about how you are looking.


New Member
Feb 14, 2010
What a shame you all feel so down about yourselves. Kelly marks new book "perfect confidence" is well worth a read.


New Member
Sep 27, 2007
North Staff's
i feel the same as most of you above. when i met my now-husband, i was very slim, very fit & active, and although i'll never be beautiful i wasnt an ogre either. gradually since then ive put weight on to the point im now 5st heavier, and of course everything that comes with not being 17 anymore! i get really low about it to the point i will not go back to my home town because im terrified of seeing anyone i used to know (like from school or ex-colleagues etc) because last time i saw any of them i was slim. i hate meeting new people too because i imagine the shock when they see this big heffa walking in! so have to prepare everyone so they're not shocked. if i go anywhere i feel totally embarassed and ashamed until im back in a comfort zone. i hate my clothes but im too ashamed to buy any that fit me properly because i cant admit my real size to myself & im too embarassed to take those sizes to the counter. i also feel self conscious constantly at home - i will not let my OH see me undressed at all anymore - ever.

i dont know what to do about it because ive tried & failed at every diet. i constantly try to convince myself to exercise but i feel im now too fat even to run! and my mom didnt know this but she might do now as she's on this board - the doctor gave me prozac for various reasons, and said that over eating & being inactive are symtoms. so i hoped that with my mood my weight & activeness would increase... but so far they havent and its been a few months now.

anyway essay done - this doesnt help you at all, but at least you'll know you're not alone. to top it off, as i used to be slim, i cant convince myself that slim people dont see you how they do - i know damn well what i used to think of 'fat' people!

to top it all off i now have to wear glasses every waking moment as my eyes seriously detiorated a few yrs ago, i really do not have a 'glasses' face so feel ugly in them all the time (and no i dont have money for laser surgery nor do i get on with contacts after trying everyone out).


Well-Known Member
Dec 16, 2004
I'm like bluntcrayon, i have pretend confidence. A lot of that stems from when i first started teaching and getting up and entertaining 20 kids for 80 minutes was a daunting task. But i couldn't let them smell fear or they'd have eaten me alive! being quite honest, i don't really care what random strangers think of me. and if they do comment the best retort is to tell them to go look in the mirror!!! i wear what i want and do what i want. i take a lesson from Gok and try to wear what enhances my best features (i.e. my boobs!) and suits my figure. If people don't like it then they can walk on by :wink: :ninja:


New Member
Jul 24, 2009
I am the same I have no confdence at all but you would never guess if you met me, I'm better if I share a common interest with others but I feel physically sick if out of my comfort zone. I met an old friend the other day and I was so ashamed of myself as my appearence has changed for the worst since I last saw them and it played on my mind for 2 days.:redface:
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