Do you neglect your non horsey friends?

Mary Poppins

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Oct 10, 2004
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Since I got Ben (over 3 weeks ago now), I have been obsessed with him. Even though he is on full livery and I don't have to do any stable jobs, I still go and see him every evening to either ride or just spend time with him. The only time when I haven't been to see him (just once!) was when my husband wanted a night out with his friends.

I have a number of different friendship groups and one of group is made up for my old 'baby friends' (ie we all had our first babies at the same time). They are keen on going to the cinema and have monthly cinema trips. We are due to go on Thursday but I don't want to because it will cost me about £20 (adding up parking and drinks afterwards) and that is money that I should be putting towards my huge vet bill, and secondly because I would rather go and see my horse.

I know that I need to be careful not to neglect my non horsey friends, but it's hard when I would honestly rather spend time with my horse than them. My time is very limited anyway (due to working and having 2 little kids) so any time that I get to see Ben is so precious to me.

Is anyone else guilty of neglecting their friends, and if so, what do you do about it?
 
I dont neglect them as such, but i do sometimes turn down "play dates" for comps, if i have an event with the browbands etc!
 
It's about achieving a fine balance for me. I think what you're feeling at the moment MP is part the honeymoon period you go through when you first get a horse - much like when you meet a new partner.

If OH & I decide to do something of an evening or go see friends etc it's just a flying visit to the yard which has to be squeezed in at some point or I ask a friend to check her for me; I don't like to be made to choose one or the other. Sometimes I would rather be up the yard if I haven't ridden in a while but such is life - I like to see my friends too and like you, on top of full time work and other commitments there aren't enough hours in the day to fit it all in. Things have to be flexible to give & take.
 
this is approriate...been invited to a friends for drinks tonight after work, she is only back from Spain for festive period, all the girls will be there but I'm considering not going as will end up late at the yard to muck out, plus feeling a bit :poop:

I know i should make the effort to go....they just get annoyed with me talking about Scarlet all the time :giggle:
 
I have horsey friends and gundog friends and some are both.
We often get together and never run out of conversation.
Sometimes on girly nights we ban all shooting talk as we tend to have that so much with our OH's being involved too.
 
I dont really have any non horsey friends either :eek: partly because I moved away for uni, and partly because my uni friends all moved back away after uni!
 
I've plenty of non horsey friends (generally they are the mummy friends too :D) but I usually see them on my days that I'm not working. My horse is on grass livery but time is tight with that in that I don't go and see him when it's just me and my daughter, I won't do horse chores that involve me having her up there on my own and handling a horse, not at her age.

RM is right, your still in the honeymoon period with horseownership - it's a lovely time :wub: but things to settle down and it's all about balance.

I don't ride as much as you, but weekends we tend to be together as a family, friends I see sometimes on a Saturday so my daughter can see her friends as well, Sunday's are usually a no no in that we stick together and do something as a family away from the horses, they are hubbies and my passion not my daughters, so not really fair on her.

It's all about give and take and it's a bit like the early stages of parenthood, you tend to muddle your way through and it works :D
 
Hubby and I have very little time to socialise but that's not because of hobbies, it's because the little time hubby and esme are at home we like to spend together.

I have a handful of friends who have horses but if they didn't have horses then they'd still be friends.
 
Yup, i abandon my friends allll the time. :redface: But they're used to it now! ITs usually when we're supposed to go see bands. 'Bands? Wednesday? No, sorry, your going on your own, I have a riding lesson!' :tongue:
But, i have found a new way to do both! My bestfriend just started having riding lessons with me! The others wont come, ones allergic and the other one thinks horses are boring. :unsure:
 
Don't really have any non horsey or doggy friends - of the 2 couples who don't have horses, they do have dogs and either used to own horses or used to ride, so are still interested. Most of them are people I've met through dogs and horses anyway, and prefer to spend time with likeminded people. The girls at work aren't horsey but we tend not to socialise a great deal outside work, we spend all day in the office chatting and laughing so I don't feel the need! Some of them go out together, but I'd rather go and ride :biggrin:
 
Do what makes you happy - I am sure if they had just got a new child, they would abandon you for a while. Don't feel guilty, life is too short!
 
Yeah I probably neglect my non horsey friends....but to be fair, they all neglected me before i did it to them - they all got pregnant and had babies:tongue: so I retaliated and bought a horse. I try to limit my horsey talk but we're now getting to the point where all their little three/four year olds want to come and meet flipo. Fine by me!
 
If they're people you still actually want to see how about compromising and just meet them for drinks after the film - will that leave you time to see Ben first? That's the part of the night where you will actually be spending time with them (as opposed to sitting next to them in the dark).
 
If they're people you still actually want to see how about compromising and just meet them for drinks after the film - will that leave you time to see Ben first? That's the part of the night where you will actually be spending time with them (as opposed to sitting next to them in the dark).[/QUO

Good thinking.
 
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