Do we need?

[Lemme]

I think most sites suffer with the same issue, for me I place my ramblings on my diary and do not expect a reply or interaction but not upset if I get one good or bad, lets face it we all do and see things differently, I am not a Robot, I am not perfect and I have a mind to allow me to form opinions , retain knowledge and make choices (however wrong or right but mine to make).

I like to follow some posts on the site, some are of interest , some offer me extra knowledge (I still have lots to learn) and some are not of interest to me personally. If the thread is written in such a way that opinions are welcome I may or may not contribute, sometimes I simply have no experience of /interest in the content of the thread so no use waffling on making out I have, I am happy to make a reply if I think it will help /be of use in the discussion but its only an opinion /suggestion, I am not really bothered whether anyone takes offence, I try to reply in such a way that it wouldn't but sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade and get on with it. no one died, I am not one for sugar coating anything and too old to even think of changing now and why should I. If you post a thread in which the contents suggest you would like input/opinions from others then you have to accept that you may get a response that does not necessarily endorse your feelings on the matter in hand, if you are just making a statement say so, then we can read, close and move on.

 

[orbvalley]

I did try doing exactly this on a very recent thread that was causing some controversy, and as it had spiked my interest in certain aspects of that thread I did take my question elsewhere deliberately to have a debate.

You see the thread @Cortrasna started above was to me an interesting subject that is very sensitive but was being debated in the true meaning of the word. We all had an opinion, most opinions were different, some were opinions I'd never came across before, it was a good thread. Unfortunately it slid into being linked with specific members and the debate deteriorated as people became offended. It is for this reason that I try to refrain from responding to what I consider as more personal threads. Its a shame as I do like to read opinions and ideas that are different to mine

 

[Frances144]

It’s a bit like riding/keeping a horse by majority some times,

If folk ask for advice, quite often they just want to be told what their doing is right but it is under the guise of a WWYD question.

Personally, if I give advice, I find it frustrating if the OP then makes it very clear they weren’t actually wanting input, just justification.

But hey-ho, sometimes I think that really is the very definition of forum land these days.

 

[MrC]

It’s a forum, if you don’t want input then don’t post.

I haven’t posted a lot about Kia lately because really I don’t need any input good or bad, that’s not a dog at anyone as all good vibes are appreciated but I’m prone to bursting into tears a lot at present so I am enjoying our time together and I have enough people in RL harping on that I don’t need anyone else chiming in, so I don’t post.

I do however enjoy reading the vast majority of people’s adventures, I also like being able to help with ideas if they are looking, also my horsey brain just likes looking at photos of horses as well.

I am outspoken, blunt and sometimes come across rude, sometimes I can’t be bothered mincing my thoughts into shiny glittery rainbow bunny kisses, what goes through my head goes out through my fingers I’m afraid, however if what I out gets people to think even if they are majorly mad and helps find a solution then I’m grand with that.

I’ve been on this forum since about 2004, took a break, then through spitefullness and lies was forced to take another break, but this place has lost a lot of good members and gained new ones in all that time. Those who were on with me back then will remember that I’m this way, it’s not popular but who wants to be a cheerleader forever anyways

 

[Frances144]

I sometime have a hankering to be a “cheerleader forever” but then my mouth gets in the way!

 

[MrC]

I sometime have a hankering to be a “cheerleader forever” but then my mouth gets in the way!

I don’t have the necessary patience for it lol I’m all for encouragement and help but spouting unicorn poop on a daily basis is not a skill I’ve been blessed with

 

[newforest]

I would love a gloves off no whinging and moaning good old fashioned debate section, but as I replied to @domane there are still far too many people who post things totally oblivious to the fact that their post might cause debate and adverse comment as they feel anything they post is beyond discussion and just not open for debate as they are always RIGHT! lol! so those will forever remain outside the debating area won't they and turn into the usual stropping off and accusations of the 'playground', 'dont say anything at all if you can't massage my ego', don't be nasty to me (sniff, sniff) etc. etc. so not really sure it would solve the problem too much, as only those open minded and mature enough to actually discuss pros and cons of topics etc. without taking it personally would use it. Those ones are a bit in short supply over recent months though aren't they?

Are you daring to disagree with me.

I can recall back to when we had members that were constantly getting the threads closed and being banned.
Who recalls how bad it got that Mike shut the site down!
I was at the other end of some the snide comments and I think it boils down to the fact that Yes, we have a horse, they are all individual and so are we, so naturally our thoughts will probably be so.

I already get a lot of stick on my yard because I don't do things the same. Or I do but it's slightly different from everyone's view of 'normal'
I have a completely different horse, obviously I will brush her feathers cos she kinda has them. So yes I probably do own different products for that.

Anyone stuck up their arse, they make pig oil for that and I am going to buy some this winter. In case my own head gets wedged.

 

[Cortrasna]

Are you daring to disagree with me.

Not a chance wouldn't dare

 

[Frances144]

I would love a gloves off no whinging and moaning good old fashioned debate section, but as I replied to @domane there are still far too many people who post things totally oblivious to the fact that their post might cause debate and adverse comment as they feel anything they post is beyond discussion and just not open for debate as they are always RIGHT! lol! so those will forever remain outside the debating area won't they and turn into the usual stropping off and accusations of the 'playground', 'dont say anything at all if you can't massage my ego', don't be nasty to me (sniff, sniff) etc. etc. so not really sure it would solve the problem too much, as only those open minded and mature enough to actually discuss pros and cons of topics etc. without taking it personally would use it. Those ones are a bit in short supply over recent months though aren't they?

Isn’t that H&H?

 

[Cortrasna]

Isn’t that H&H?

Quite possibly!

 

[orbvalley]

The other side of the issue is that when I have posted a thread stating "opinions/critique appreciated" I really would like every off the wall opinion. I'd do what I do in RL - listen, learn, filter, move on - I can't see the point in posting if everyone's afraid/reticent to give their honest opinion

 

[Cortrasna]

The other side of the issue is that when I have posted a thread stating "opinions/critique appreciated" I really would like every off the wall opinion. I'd do what I do in RL - listen, learn, filter, move on - I can't see the point in posting if everyone's afraid/reticent to give their honest opinion

I agree so much with this - when Dolly was so poorly earlier this year with her still unexplained virus or whatever it was going on I posted on here regularly and kept logging back on hoping and praying someone out there might just come up with a good idea or thought process that might lead me (and my vet who was equally perplexed) to some idea of what was happening and how we could help her. I really didnt care WHO the information or light bulb moment came from I just wanted help!

Although NR peeps didn't come up with any significant conclusion I found it hugely comforting to get thoughts an opinions as it made me feel others out there were at least trying to help me find an answer and help for Dolly and were in our corner with us. Now that to me is what a really good forum is all about. ...... dont bother flattering me, assuring me my vet is the best thing since sliced bread and everything I am trying is just peachy....sock it to me when I need real help and the chips are down, one of you out there just might have the experience or an ancedote that could make the difference and I will always listen and note carefully those opinions, believe me.

 

[newforest]

The other side of the issue is that when I have posted a thread stating "opinions/critique appreciated" I really would like every off the wall opinion. I'd do what I do in RL - listen, learn, filter, move on - I can't see the point in posting if everyone's afraid/reticent to give their honest opinion

That's the stage I fear some of us are at. I know I feel like this sometimes- can't really say that could be misunderstood. The poster at the other end takes offense, has a go at me, misunderstands, or worse.

Sometimes I don't want to get involved in discussions anymore, simply because we don't have them often and when we do they go pear shaped.

 

[newforest]

I agree so much with this - when Dolly was so poorly earlier this year with her still unexplained virus or whatever it was going on I posted on here regularly and kept logging back on hoping and praying someone out there might just come up with a good idea or thought process that might lead me (and my vet who was equally perplexed) to some idea of what was happening and how we could help her. I really didnt care WHO the information or light bulb moment came from I just wanted help!

Although NR peeps didn't come up with any significant conclusion I found it hugely comforting to get thoughts an opinions as it made me feel others out there were at least trying to help me find an answer and help for Dolly and were in our corner with us. Now that to me is what a really good forum is all about. ...... dont bother flattering me, assuring me my vet is the best thing since sliced bread and everything I am trying is just peachy....sock it to me when I need real help and the chips are down, one of you out there just might have the experience or an ancedote that could make the difference and I will always listen and note carefully those opinions, believe me.

We do all pull together in a situation like this.
And this is when the poster can and does misread suggestions. It's such an emotional time that sometimes coming here just to vent is needed and we just listen and move on. It's so much easier to type as it looks when you are not the one with sick or injured horse.

I was shocked by how many people were supportive and saddened when I lost J. People that had left rejoined to message, just because we are online doesn't mean it's not a community and real people are at end of the screen. Perhaps more so these days than ten years ago. Talking to people online was considered a bit weird, fake, not real. Now the next generation is born with wifi enabled!!

We can learn something from everyone, good or bad.