disgusted of tunbridge wells...

[Mehitabel]

i feel a bit like a rolling-pin waving old woman writing in to points of view posting this, but i feel i really need to say it.

lately i've been absolutely appalled by some of the threads and responses to queries in this forum. there has been unasked-for and unnecessarily harsh criticism and a lot of nitpicking when posters have been asking about low-key shows and for helpful advice and encouragement, not to be torn to pieces.

not everyone cares enough about showing to turn out to a county level standard. what's more, there are no written rules about turnout, so when someone disagrees with you, it's not a personal attack and often they are not wrong - just because it's not how you would do things.

it's entirely possible to give advice and help improve someone's turnout nicely and constructively - there has been precious little of that happening lately.

showing has a bad enough image in the horsey world without people bitching and being snide - that is exactly the reptuation we don't want from people who take part in our discipline. i'd have been thoroughly put off if i'd been wanting to start out in showing and had gotten some of the responses i've seen on here recently.

nobody has to take anyone's advice. we offer it here as a gesture of goodwill, but people are entirely free to do as they please, and getting snitty about it doesn't inspire them to come back and ask for help later, even if they find out you were right.

if someone throws advice back in your face, chalk it up to experience, remember their username and don't reply to them again., it saves the blood pressure and avoids a lot of unnecessary fighting on the board and ruining of a pleasant atmosphere.

i show, and frankly i don't want my chosen discipline to be associated with the attitudes i have seen displayed here over the last few weeks in this forum.

it's not big, it's not clever, and nobody is impressed.

 

[Belle1]

Well said Mehitabel.
At the end of the day it is supposed to be fun. Certainly at local level it doesn't really matter if you don't have all of the "correct" gear.

(BTW are disgusted people always from T. Wells? Got a few rellies there......)

 

[hApPiNeSs]

well said mehitabel.

i have noticed that recently

 

[Zingy]

Well said. It's something that thankfully doesn't happen much here, but even knowing that I've struggled sometimes recently to ensure my reaction to certain threads is a lowered opinion of those involved, not of everyone involved in showing.

Being realistic, most of us won't get to HOYS, no matter how perfect our turnout is. We want to scrape the mud off our horses and tootle along to the local show for a few hours and enjoy ourselves. I think for that it doesn't matter if I wear black, tweed or sky blue pink with orange dots on

 

[Holly B]

Well said, Mehitabel. I too have noticed some really nasty, horrible postings by people who show on here. Someone posts a simple question and a few people hijack the thread and turn it into a huge argument about something unrelated. Whilst I don't show, and have no intentions to really as it just doesn't appeal to me, some people on here really do give those who show a bad name when most showing people are, I'm sure, perfectly pleasant and nice people. Many people have the impression that the showing world is really bitchy and some here seem desperate to prove it.

 

[nutkin]

I think that has been happening all over the board not just in regard to showing but posts about lots of different things. It's a shame that NR is becoming like many other boards where bitchiness seems rife. At the end of the day we are all here because we have the one thing in common which is the love of horses.Yes there are different points of view on all things equestrian but you are quite right that there are nicer ways to discuss things than to shoot the poster down in flames.

 

[Holly B]

sky blue pink with orange dots on

Ooh, know where I can get one of those Zingy? I don't show, but I like the sound of it for hacking.

 

[horse__obsessed]

Being realistic, most of us won't get to HOYS, no matter how perfect our turnout is. We want to scrape the mud off our horses and tootle along to the local show for a few hours and enjoy ourselves.

Well said. If I got a pony, thats all Id want to do! Yes HOYS would be nice... but it would involve too much grooming

I think for that it doesn't matter if I wear black, tweed or sky blue pink with orange dots on

I'd actually quite like to do that... might be quite funny. My personal preference would have to be bright orange and lime green though (Just to be nitpicky!)

BTW are disgusted people always from T. Wells? Got a few rellies there......

I doubt it... what was that bit fot though? Anything personal? btw Belle1 - are these relatives you do or dont like (no offence intended or anything!)

 

[Cochise]

Thank you Mehitabel! I'm showing next week at National level, and was feeling discouraged and saddened about the show scene, even in a different country!
What is Tunbridge Wells by the way?

 

[Daffy Dilly]

Guilty I think, sorry guys

 

[Wally]

"Disgusted of Tumbridge Wells" is a thing in the UK. It's how Mirror newspaper letter writers are known. I think it's the Mirror anyway! It's how they are known to sign their letters.

 

[HorseyBabe2]

showing has a bad enough image in the horsey world without people bitching and being snide - that is exactly the reptuation we don't want from people who take part in our discipline. i'd have been thoroughly put off if i'd been wanting to start out in showing and had gotten some of the responses i've seen on here recently.

I didn't (don't) know anything about showing. My one and only impression of it has been what I have read on new rider. And I have to say it has really put me off and I don't ever want to do it if these threads are an example of what goes on/what the people are like.
I haven't voiced this opinion on NR rider because I didn't want to open myself up to the same sort of nastiness

I would also actually like to know what is "showing"? I think I know what dressage is (I've done a couple of prelims 7 & 12 - oh and I didn't wear anything special for them................), and show jumping and cross country. But I'm a bit confused over "showing". Do you ride or just stand their with your pony/horse? How is it judged and what do you have to do? I nearly asked a while ago, but then decided it all sounded so horrid and unfriendly i didn't want to do it anyway whatever it was !?

Oh and Tunbridge Wells is a town in Kent (South East England). Why the signature expression "Disgusted from Tumbridge Wells" came from though, I have no idea

Mehitabel, you're not actually from Tunbridge are you?lol

 

[LouHarvey]

If this is referring to my post about my Welsh D and my cob, I can honestly say I didn't find any of the comments to be snide, harsh, or bitchy. I asked for advice and from my point of view I was given it. I am going to HOYS with my cob (Lord willing) and was just interested on reflection to learn what other people would have done with my neds were they in my position.

I really don't think anybody has anything to apologise about. Showing only has a bad reputation because people percieve it as being 'easy' or being more reliant on 'who you know, not what you know'. But a hell of a lot of work goes in behind the scenes - feeding, fittening, turnout, trimming, clipping, etc - which all contributes to the overall end resut and the accolades that you recieve as a result. The people on here give good advice which is given directly and not dusted with sugar to make it easier to swallow - and I think they should be respected for that.

In short, don't ask if you don't want to be told. It's that simple. A friend of mine has a saying that you can ask five horse people the same question and recieve five different answers, but all of them could be right. Asking for advice on here invites other people to put across their personal viewpoint - and as far as I'm concerned, free speech is one of the fundamentals my country is built on.

 

[ajhainey]

LouHarvey, nope, your thread is positively civil, there have been some very nasty and heavily edited posts recently. The problem being, someone asks, gets 5 replies and the the five replies start fighting about who is right and it all seems to get rather heated. Like HorseyBabe2 I have to say it hasn't been the best possible insight into the world of showing - I preferred it when everyone was joined in lamenting that fat cobs always won aj xx

 

[Mehitabel]

(BTW are disgusted people always from T. Wells? Got a few rellies there......)

yes, it's the Law.

Mehitabel, you're not actually from Tunbridge are you?lol

no, sunny bournemouth for me!

I really don't think anybody has anything to apologise about. Showing only has a bad reputation because people percieve it as being 'easy' or being more reliant on 'who you know, not what you know'. But a hell of a lot of work goes in behind the scenes - feeding, fittening, turnout, trimming, clipping, etc - which all contributes to the overall end resut and the accolades that you recieve as a result. The people on here give good advice which is given directly and not dusted with sugar to make it easier to swallow - and I think they should be respected for that.

In short, don't ask if you don't want to be told. It's that simple. A friend of mine has a saying that you can ask five horse people the same question and recieve five different answers, but all of them could be right. Asking for advice on here invites other people to put across their personal viewpoint - and as far as I'm concerned, free speech is one of the fundamentals my country is built on.

i entirely disagree. i know as well as anybody else what goes on behind the scenes, having been head girl of a showing yard for seven years and been to hoys and olympia several times. the people on here may give good advice, although i reserve judgement about all of it, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with being nice about it. you can encourage people with your advice or discourage them - don't tell me you've never felt disheartened by having an idea shot down in flames by someone whose opinions you repsect. those who show at a high level ought to be encouraging newbies to the discipline, not putting them off.
there is nothing wrong with free speech, but there is a line between honesty and brutal and unnecessary criticism. that line has been crossed on several occasions lately.

i have no issues at all with dusting things with sugar to make the message more palatable, for a start, advice given nastily is less likely to be taken, so it's a waste of the authors' time and fingertips. secondly, it just makes you look mean, and nobody wants advice from someone mean. i don't think anyone should be respected for being unnecessarily nasty. it is entirely possible to suggest changes to turnout without being insulting or belittling.

in the real world we are polite ot people, we should do the same here. it's not just words on a screen, you are talking to real people whose ponies are their pride and joy just like yours are to you. they are doing their best and asking advice so they can improve, not so you can laugh at them and put them down for having made a mistake.

 

[chev]

Echo Mehitabel. A little sensitiveity towards others costs nothing.

When I set out to show Tia last year I ended up in a pair of blue trousers that did nothing for our turn out colour-wise. The pitfalls of being novice. Someone kindly pointed out that perhaps beige would show her off better and look neater; I didn't feel got at and we did look better for finding beige trousers! Had that person gone at me with the viciousness I've seen here recently, I don't think I'd have gone near a showring again.

Well said Mehitabel.

 

[Cochise]

In short, don't ask if you don't want to be told.

But insults and nasty comments are not advice. People will soon give up asking for advice if they are told what is "correct." I have always shown under "it's one persons opinion on the day" and have sometimes been up in the high placings, sometimes not.
Free speech doesn't include personal swipes at people.
Right, I'm off in 2 days for the four day National show. I hope I don't have to hide for the whole show!

 

[dotsanddashes]

Just thought to add that there is so much to learn from these type of forums, it is a shame that people feel to afraid to ask sometimes because of fear that they will be 'beaten down'.

I didn't show at all until last year because I was 'scared of doing it wrong' then I realised that it was me that was missing out on all the fun ........so any of you who went to Blaneavon Show last year would have seen me, my appaloosa - very hunter type - and 5 heavy coloured horses in the 'coloured horse in hand class'...........well she's coloured........isn't she?!?!?!

we either had to be first or last - we were last. But SO many nice people came up to me and said how nicely put together she was, how well mannered etc and suggested I put her in hunter in hand classes - now I'm a member of Sport Horse GB and love every second of it.

I guess what I'm trying to ramble on about is don't be put off, go out and do it and have fun - same applies in these forums. Ask the question - you may get some not so nice responses, but the helpful ones you get will more than make up for those.

 

[HorseyBabe2]

If this is referring to my post about my Welsh D and my cob, I can honestly say I didn't find any of the comments to be snide, harsh, or bitchy. I asked for advice and from my point of view I was given it. /QUOTE]

No I don't think it was your thread LouHarvey and certainly not yourself.
But there have been a lot of showing type threads, what to wear, correct turnout etc and not just on this section of the board, that seem to me to have become quite unpleasent. In fact I have found a lot of the discussion on the latter (correct turnout) quite terrifying in their voracity (?sp/correct word?). I have been a NR reader for AGES now (it's very addictive) and on the whole find everyone so helpful and friendly. I have had lots of helpful advice re sharing problems I have been having for instance. But it is interesting that purely because of what I have read on NR that I have been totally put off ever having anything to do with showing....................
Having said that - it has been so nice to read this thread and see that there are a few nice showing people out there who might not ridicule me for getting something less than perfect .

So, just in case I ever dare to enter a showing class, Could one of you answer my questions in my earlier post, because I don't really know what you're all on about (all I have gleaned is that by god I'd better get the dress code/turnout right!!!).

Thanks

 

[Pink's lady]

HorseyBabe2 - showing is about looking pretty Or handsome. Not much else to be said. Can you tell I'm not a showing fan? I know there's a huge amount of effort and skill goes into it, but at the end of the day it really is all about looking pretty.

I have no desire to show at all (and have been especially put off by some of the fanaticals on here). I've done dressage, show-jumping and XC with Pink and can compete in all of them without having to change her appearence, apart from plaiting (and even then, only if I want to). But to show I'd have to hog and clip her. Makes her totally unsuitable to live out like she is at the moment, but I'd 'have to' because it's 'correct' and I couldn't do well otherwise. Schooling and build and confirmation would have nothing to do with it