Difficult decision for me - getting a sharer

Rubic

Rubic

Equine Karaoke Queen
Apr 15, 2012
3,771
571
113
Glasgow
I've made the decision to get a sharer to help with Rubic. I'm so stressed and tired out with work just now, I'm doing overtime several times a week now rather than just a day here and there. I'm up early to sort her before work and by the time I get through work (sometimes without lunch if it's a particularly bad day) I have no energy or motivation to do much. The problem is that Rubic is a good-doer and if I slack off with her exercise she piles the weight on pretty quickly. Also I feel like everything I do with her is rushed. The only quality time I get to spend with her is the weekend and by that point I'm so knackered and have so much housework to do that I still rush things with her. I could also do with some help financially since the livery went up and we are coming into winter (also I just seem to be very good at spending all my money!).

I'm so nervous about the whole thing. I don't want to outright advertise her for fear of joyriders and time wasters and liars and was going to try and find someone through word of mouth instead. However last night I thought I'd look through some adverts from people looking for a horse to share. The first advert I came across seemed perfect. I emailed and got a reply straight back saying she'd be interested and would get back to be properly during the week as she was going away this weekend.

I hardly slept last night due to nerves. I'm so worried it could all go wrong for everyone involved. I know what the benefits could be though and I suppose I need to focus on them! The extra help will be great and will take away some pressure and stress eventually once everything is settled, Rubic will benefit from having someone different ride her perhaps with some new ideas and approaches, it means her weight will be kept down especially if she is ridden twice a few days a week eg. schooled during the day and I take her a light hack after work. I just need to chill out and stop being so possessive/over-protective/paranoid etc. My plan is to have the person up while I'm there for the first two weeks, maybe just keep to the weekends and an evening or something. The first time I'll catch her tack up etc ride then she can have a shot then after I'll just watch her, see how she is with Rubic and how Rubic is with her (since generally no-one else ever deals with her) and once I'm happy everything's ok we can sort out days she wants to come up and I can leave her to it. I suppose I just need some reassurance I'm doing the right thing and also some advice on things to look out for since this is the first time I've ever been involved in sharing a horse!
 
Last edited:
Rubic will be fine if you find the right person. You will have to let go a bit though ;).

Having a horse isnt supposed to be so stressful - you need to just relax a bit and just let it happen instead of getting all het up about what you are supposed to be achieving :D

I would be inclined to have a longish trial period where no money changes hands though. Its a lot easier for you to get out of a situation you are not happy with if there has been no cash involved.
 
I was going to give it the 2 weeks without any money exchanged and see how it's going. If I'm certain everything is going well then the "official" share can start, if I'm still not sure the another week or so to give me time to decide.

Honestly, I have some moments when I realise how great it could turn out. I did a little fb search and found her, she looks roughly the same age as me so I'm hoping we might have a few things in common and get along well. I was worried that if they were older it may feel a bit awkward. I just need to stop focusing on the negatives!
 
Good luck, finding the right sharer can make all the difference :) Getting on and having the same outlook are the most important things to a successful arrangement, everything else can be worked on :)
 
Sounds like you are doing the right thing. Sharing can be really great if you find the right person (I share a horse and it works brilliantly).

I had a trial period of a month (for both me and his owner) to see if it suited us and how we got on. In fact it was about 3 months down the line when we both realised the 'trial period' was up....clearly we get on very well! I was also very, very grateful for my shares owner sticking around for the first week or so, I wanted to make sure I was doing everything right so her being around to check with gave me more confidence.

I really hope it works out :biggrin:
 
I've just found a horse to share too, didn't think I would, but I did. Owner wants no money for it, just exercising. Good luck finding your rider.
 
Good luck Wiz! I was very lucky to have a few people let me ride their horses for absolutely nothing. I am extremely grateful for that. Hope it goes well for you.

I really hope this works out. Luckily, someone I know (met them on here a few years ago actually!) has said that if it doesn't work out she'd love to help me out as she wants to get back into riding again so I have a back-up plan and am in absolutely no rush. I just need to remember that and that should take the pressure off!
 
Rubic said:
I've made the decision to get a sharer to help with Rubic. I'm so stressed and tired out with work just now, I'm doing overtime several times a week now rather than just a day here and there. I'm up early to sort her before work and by the time I get through work (sometimes without lunch if it's a particularly bad day) I have no energy or motivation to do much. The problem is that Rubic is a good-doer and if I slack off with her exercise she piles the weight on pretty quickly. Also I feel like everything I do with her is rushed. The only quality time I get to spend with her is the weekend and by that point I'm so knackered and have so much housework to do that I still rush things with her. I could also do with some help financially since the livery went up and we are coming into winter (also I just seem to be very good at spending all my money!).

I'm so nervous about the whole thing. I don't want to outright advertise her for fear of joyriders and time wasters and liars and was going to try and find someone through word of mouth instead. However last night I thought I'd look through some adverts from people looking for a horse to share. The first advert I came across seemed perfect. I emailed and got a reply straight back saying she'd be interested and would get back to be properly during the week as she was going away this weekend.

I hardly slept last night due to nerves. I'm so worried it could all go wrong for everyone involved. I know what the benefits could be though and I suppose I need to focus on them! The extra help will be great and will take away some pressure and stress eventually once everything is settled, Rubic will benefit from having someone different ride her perhaps with some new ideas and approaches, it means her weight will be kept down especially if she is ridden twice a few days a week eg. schooled during the day and I take her a light hack after work. I just need to chill out and stop being so possessive/over-protective/paranoid etc. My plan is to have the person up while I'm there for the first two weeks, maybe just keep to the weekends and an evening or something. The first time I'll catch her tack up etc ride then she can have a shot then after I'll just watch her, see how she is with Rubic and how Rubic is with her (since generally no-one else ever deals with her) and once I'm happy everything's ok we can sort out days she wants to come up and I can leave her to it. I suppose I just need some reassurance I'm doing the right thing and also some advice on things to look out for since this is the first time I've ever been involved in sharing a horse!
Click to expand...

Good luck with it, I too know about stress and time pressures, add into that mix study and a small child and it's a bit :timebomb: at times.

I've gone one step more though and put mine on full loan, just for a few months though. Enough to take the pressure off for the time being.

I wish you all the best :)
 
Skippys Mum said:
CF - remember that Rubic is kept about 3 miles from my mums - and remember a certain other persons mum was handy ;)

Move, move, move :D
Click to expand...

You should definitely move here CF lol!

Oh and skippy, I always keep my eye out for your mum when I hack out that way!
 
It sounds like you have given it a lot of thought and have come to the right decision for all involved.

Good luck and hope it all goes well :)
 
I got a sharer some years ago to help financially and I just don't have time to ride all at the same time.

I was very dubious and nervous. I advertised in Horsemart, I had quite a few dodgy replies and was about to give up when along came my lovely sharer, she is nothing short of 'perfect'. An ex horse owner herself who just likes to hack out or poodle in the field. Time doesn't allow her to have another horse of her own plus during the time she has been with me she has bought a house, got married and had a baby.

I works really well for both of us, I take full responsibility for the care side although she is always willing to help when she can, she always pays and rides at least once a week. She is very polite and always 'asks' before she does anything, I always say yes that's ok but it means we both know whats going on, when she is coming, what she is doing etc.

When 'the person' turns up to try your horse, if you are not completely satisfied that it will be the right arrangement just say something like you have others coming and you will let her/him know.

I would make sure who ever you decide on has insurance as well for a little extras peace of mind :smile:
 
I have a sharer for Major, ok so technically he is my sisters horse but i have full responsibility for him.

Its worked out GREAT. I did have another sharer for him who was from a Preloved advert, and she was great too, only lasted 4 months due to her work commitments but we still keep in touch now. The main sharer was word of mouth (mother of a girl on the yard).

I am not in the need of a sharer for Moet, but i may need to in the future. It will be tough finding someone i trust enough as i cannot risk Moet injuring her leg again, BUT i am sure there is someone out there who is perfect.

I would love to get a sharer for Rosie - but its so tricky as Rosie is a plod plod plod, semi-retired so not allowed to canter. I wouldn't want her hacking with others as she needs to have short sedate hacks, but she isn't perfect out solo either....well she is but she can be cheeky and try to eat grass then plays up if she can't have it! BUT saying that yesterday i took her out for a solo hack and she was a gem, first time out in 6 weeks solo....but is it because of me? would she be a nightmare for a stranger....
 
newrider.com
Top Bottom
Back