Difficult conversations.. in the horsey world

nat17

Minnie, Sam and Dolly
May 30, 2002
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When you go to look at a horse - and its not for you... do you find it hard to call the owner or text the owner to say.... thanks for your time, your horse is lovely but not for me..?

Is it hard for you to do, do you wimp out and just never reply to the owner or contact them to say this? Even if when your face to face you say you will?

I notice more and more in normal life people not liking negative conversations, or even just to raise issues. I am sure its not just the horse world..

What do you think?
 

mystiquemalaika

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Jan 7, 2013
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I have always rung them to say one way or another. I went to see a 2 year old welsh when i was looking for Malaika, he was very obviously lame behind and had something going on. The owner wasnt there,yard owners were so i rung the owner and told her my concerns. It went down like a lead balloon and she wasnt at all happy and i got called everything under the sun. Had a similar experience years ago and they were lovely,got vets out and workups done etc. Some people said i just shouldnt have rung but as a horse owner myself id much prefer someone was open and honest with me one way or another. I do agree though in life in general people dont seem to be able to have what alot see as difficult or awkward conversations?not sure the best way to describe them :cool: but me personally i would rather someone was just honest with me so i am with them :)
 
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Kite_Rider

Cantering cabbage!
May 18, 2009
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Honesty is the best policy I find and no a lot of people don't like it. I have no problem telling someone that the horse is not for me and if I were ever to sell Belle (when he'll freezes over) then I would much prefer someone to say that as not every horse is right for every potential owner. I think that's one thing that makes me good at my job too, everyone knows where they stand then.
 

squidsin

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Feb 16, 2013
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When you go to look at a horse - and its not for you... do you find it hard to call the owner or text the owner to say.... thanks for your time, your horse is lovely but not for me..?

Is it hard for you to do, do you wimp out and just never reply to the owner or contact them to say this? Even if when your face to face you say you will?

I notice more and more in normal life people not liking negative conversations, or even just to raise issues. I am sure its not just the horse world..

What do you think?

I always contact to say thanks but no thanks. In fact I usually tell them straightaway, politely, of course.
 

joosie

lifelong sufferer of restless brain syndrome
Oct 28, 2004
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Hmm, I know a lot of people don't like negative conversations but I would have thought it was quite easy to tell someone you didn't want to buy their horse - surely it isn't that difficult to be diplomatic and say their horse is fantastic but just not what you're looking for? If they take it personally they take it personally but there's not really anything you can do about that. What is much harder is when people have come to view horses and are interested in buying, and my boss has to tell them that she's sorry but she can't sell it to them as she doesn't think they are suitable. So often it is people who just lack the experience for that type of horse, and she won't sell to them because she knows the horse will be too much for them. Even though she is doing it to be responsible and putting their safety first, people tend to find it quite hard to accept being turned down, but at the end of the day it has to be done.
 
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squidsin

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Hmm, I know a lot of people don't like negative conversations but I would have thought it was quite easy to tell someone you didn't want to buy their horse - surely it isn't that difficult to be diplomatic and say their horse is fantastic but just not what you're looking for? If they take it personally they take it personally but there's not really anything you can do about that. What is much harder is when people have come to view horses and are interested in buying, and my boss has to tell them that she's sorry but she can't sell it to them as she doesn't think they are suitable. So often it is people who just lack the experience for that type of horse, and she won't sell to them because she knows the horse will be too much for them. Even though she is doing it to be responsible and putting their safety first, people tend to find it quite hard to accept being turned down, but at the end of the day it has to be done.
God, I'd love it if I met someone like your boss! I'd much prefer to be told something was too much for me right now than to find it out the hard way, after spending £XXXXs!
 

Trewsers

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I don't find it hard saying no they aren't right for me. Better to be honest than string someone along. I also don't like wasting people's time so probably would not view more than twice unless I was fairly sure subject to vetting it was the horse fir me.
 

Trewsers

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I would also appreciate the honesty Joosies boss shows. I have been told many times that certain horses would be too much for me and I am grateful for that. I have no illusions about my capabilities so it certainly wouldn't bother me folk being forthright on that score.
 

nat17

Minnie, Sam and Dolly
May 30, 2002
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I had someone view Dolly through the homes for horses site on friday, I said why dont you go and have a think about it and she said she would and come back to me, not heard a thing since, I text to ask if she had had a think about it yesterday and not heard anything from her, I did say on the message, if she is not your cup of tea that's fine, just need to know as I have someone else wanting to view her tonight, and I would hold off if she wanted to see her again... nothing..
 

Jessey

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I don't think it's about confrontation in that situation, that's just a lack of manners, you gave her a get out free card, she could have just messaged and said thanks but you're right, not my cuppa. Least then you would know.
I've always said when it's not for me, I don't go into "I think it's got problems x,y & z" purely because I'm no professional nor a vet, personally I've decided x has put me off enough not to peruse it but I might be way off and x not actually be a problem at all so not my place to potentially send someone in to a panic based on just my opinion.
 

mystiquemalaika

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Jan 7, 2013
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Yes i know what you mean jess, i hope thats not how my post came across though as i wouldnt begin to try and say what was going on but i would say your horse is lame on x leg if that makes sense? And i dont think that is over stepping the mark if you have viewed a horse and doesnt deserve been called worse than crap but i think thats just people.
Nat, thats terrible, as you know i used horses4homes and never had any of those issues. Its not a quick process for either party and the least they can do is reply to you and say yes im sorry but not my cup of tea, very rude and just a lack of basic manners :-(
 

Cortrasna

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Aug 5, 2009
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I agree complete time wasters if they don't even have the manners to say thanks but no thanks. I have always tried to be polite and
just say lovely though their horse is, it just isnt quite what I am looking for but I am sure they will very quickly find a new owner etc. etc. No point in pointing out to them the horse's shortcomings or unsoundness, I would imagine they are generally well aware of that anyway!

I did once tell a dealer exactly what I thought of him and his poor horses, and it resulted in my OH bundling me into the jeep and driving me a way from the place before I hit the man!:eek::D
 

eml

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Apr 29, 2002
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Even the one that made us run away before we had to summon the air ambulance for the guy demonstrating its 'paces' ( or would have if it had managed more than a stride without exploding) I think on that occasion with as much politeness as I could muster said 'I am sure it will go far but not for us'!!

Selling I find much harder and have had to say to people, 'would you just get off now he is not going to suit you', once watching them on the ground with the horse I suggest they ( for their heath and safety) just show me their riding style on a schoolmaster first!!
 

OwnedbyChanter

With out my boys life would be bland
Apr 16, 2009
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No problem at all telling some if the horse is not quite right. Friends got on one the other night and I saw in minutes that they were not right. The owner then told me that she just needs to be brave and ride the horse more positively that she just needs time with it. I told the owner that may be the case but I can see that the horse even though lovely was not for her. She still kept pushing her.

Owner asked me to get on and see what I thought again I told her not right for friend but she kept on. I got on as he was stunning and had a ride he was awesome for ME not right for friend. arrgggg

Walked away from another with out getting on, The other was perfect but failed the vetting
 
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