Cup Half Full or Half Empty - chocs if you get to the end

diplomaticandtactful

diplomaticandtactful

Well-Known Member
Apr 25, 2003
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Feeling a wee bit low tonight. I usually enjoy my lessons and it sort of gives me a kick up the derriere to be out there, sod the weather, and try to improve. Today, feeling a bit fed up with myself and disheartened. And I shouldn't be, but I am!

All down to having a rubbish session with the youngster this morning. Recently, we had been doing ok, not falling out, she was being semi cooperative and I was being tolerant, rather than us both being confrontational which was getting nowhere. I had deliberately tried to keep it calm, keep it nice and fun, let's be friends and not wind each other up and it had been working till today - famous last words.

Her mum and Leo both worked really well, Suze was excellent, really did a lot and was very focussed. Leo finally managed to work out how to go on a right rein circle which has eluded him for 3 weeks.

So cup should be pretty full. Should have stopped there....while ahead.

Couldn't get foal to pay attention, and when I really had a listen to me strop with her, she tried to boot me. I was so annoyed with myself that I had gone back to my old ways, though we had created the situation by putting the other horses out and she was tail end Charlie and worked last. Did not suit the bratfink at all and from the moment she came out of the stable, it was no no no. I asked, f you said the brat, I ask again, what about that did you not understand said the brat.

So trainer takes her, quick flick and she is putty. Butter wouldn't melt. Now I know that is why I have lessons, but today just seeing that she can be good, made it worse. She makes me feel so powerless and useless at times. So now have to rebuild my confidence with her - again - and try to be stronger, and more positive with her. Today I could have frankly put her in the field and left her there to rot but of course this is not an option with a 15hh brat.

So cup very half empty at the moment - I should be pleased that the other two did so well, instead the one that didn't is nagging at me. And the worst thing is that the problem is me, she can do stuff, she can behave, I can see her do it, but she just won't blooming do it for me! She is a fighter, asks questions, the other two are more softly softly and would really not deliberately hurt you. Bratfink is just being a typical youngster and not her fault either.

If I got fierce with her mum like that, you would catch Suze boarding the ferry at Dover having galloped all the way down the motorway. It is really hard having to change styles so radically from one to the other, given I am a novice. Suze I really enjoy working with, even on a bad day we can get something nice out of it, I kind of have to psych myself up with the brat, and having made progress with her in that we were at least on the same page of the training manual even if at times we were reading it in different languages, today she kind of ripped it all up again and left me holding the contents page with hoofprints all over it.

So must try to re-programme myself to be cup half full and get up tomorrow with a spring in my step and positive attitude, rather than return of the zombie!

As Scarlet O'Hara said, tomorrow is another day. There's a thought, could send the brat to Tara. Problem solved.

PS sorry, being a wimp
 
I am guessing this is your nh type groundwork lessons? How long are these? I ask because I used to do two hours and to be frank with my then youngster it was too long. It also felt in part too long for me too.

So the fact you mention doing something with all of them I think, if I read that correctly, are you asking too much of yourself to be able to work all of them in one session?

I am a glass half full and tomorrow is another day. I have had the attitude, opinions and I will do anything you ask if I agree sessions. She is now a lot more tolerate to the idea of doing something.

I dont know whom your trainer is under but for my groundwork I use my voice a lot, my previous trainer was against this and to be honest you cannot put horses into boxes. So if you have to alter how you are with one, maybe you need to alter*what you do? I can't recall her age but foals have a very very short attention span and when I worked with foals it wasn't unknown for them to lay own and sleep in between.
 
Well, I got to the end and gave myself a chocolate (Hersheys kisses, to be exact).

I'm wondering the same as Newforest - are you asking too much of yourself? I would have a hard time doing what you are - and with a youngster, it is extra hard to have patience.

Cut yourself some slack, Mrs - you'll be fine and so will Fleurette.
 
If only we could all be Scarlet Ohara's, I totally love that book, have you got the Rhett Butler? Personally, if I had him by my side I could probably do anything lol. but in truth its just a story.

Sounds like a very busy and tiring day, give yourself some slack x
 
a) your trainer is a trainer because they have loads of experience and are really good at what they do and b) it seems horses, like children, behave better for someone else. I'm sure this is just a blip and we all know you have the determination and patience to get through it.
 
Daily I do 5-15 minutes groundwork with three of them, including foal. Basically just very small stuff with her, backing, leading, moving quarters and shoulders, standing still out of my space, learning to lead on offside better, dropping head, flexing neck etc. With her if I get a couple of steps of what is asked for she is praised and we stop, it is not endless repetition and tiring.

We only do a two hour lesson once every two weeks, where we work 3 of them, sometimes 4, just to update see how they are, suggest new things to try out in the interim, how to improve what they already know. How to improve me and ensure I am asking clearly.

Actually the time flies by and the two hours whiz past - usually I have ridden Buddy before hand that morning as well. A lot of that time is spent actually letting them stand and take in lessons - yesterday Suze worked for 25 minutes which is more than she usually does, as we were trying to establish changes of pace in a circle. A good 10 minutes of that was standing relaxing and chilling. Leo worked for half an hour - mostly standing still and trying to learn how to go out on a circle to the right as he could do it to the left but not the right. The minute he got it, that was it.

It is our one concentrated work time, the rest of it, is work some at breakfast time, work some when they come in. So they just come out on the yard, stand, drop head, do some flexes, do some moves to side, maybe a couple of circles then stop. It is very very gentle and slow.

Foally's work is mainly a few minutes on the yard, lead to field, maybe do a couple of minutes in the field then off she goes, she already had some time off as she was not coping too well, so backed off her completely, all she was asked to do was lead to and from the field in a respectful way and stop walking on her hinds, trying to knock me over and generally be a pain in the posterior. With her, it is to ensure that she does keep under control and not get really naughty. She is very immature, so it is just to stop her biting (she is very mouthy), and snaking her neck and attacking you, as she is very playful and can be aggressive, and just keeping yourself safe by teaching her limits.

I worked with her this morning and she did listen a bit more and we parted on better terms. She led well, stood acceptably, her crossovers were crap but her backing up was good. and we practiced releasing her in the field in a controlled manner, i.e. she stands for a bit with the halter off, and is given permission to go.

Leo did great, had remembered his circles and did it first time, so he did four circles and that was it. Elapsed time less than 10 minutes. Suze spent ten minutes standing, as she has got so keen to show off her circles that she was anticipating them and going off on one before you asked. so today she just stood, and I played with the rope but did not ask her to go, and so we stood, and stood and stood. then she did 2 circles just for fun, including one at trot, and then out to the field. that is pretty typical of what we do daily. It is very very slow work, just tiny bits.
 
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Shame poor you. I know I have felt like this on numerous occasions when my pony behaves perfectly for my RI and is a git for me.

I would suggest you are just kind to yourself. Everyone on here with a young horse reports how bloody awful they can be at times, and they always take the piss out of their owner because they're used to them. You are making progress - give yourself credit for that and don't worry about the odd backward step.

I don't know if she might be hormonal? My friend's filly was impossible to work with when she had the give-me-a-foal blues.
 
she is only 19 months and never seen her in season so far so don't think we can blame her hormones, god I had forgotten about that as well, joy to look forward to a gagging for it youngster! Poor Leo and Buddy if she is a right flirt.
 
The only time I move the quarters is if I have to, once that movement is learnt I don't keep going over it. I have found that sometimes we over ask this and it becomes pointless to the horse, they know it.
Maybe you are asking a lot of yourself still with trying to do all four. The foal is only 19months, so I expect pretty much knows all it can at this age?
 
I only move the quarters when they go wrong, to bring their head back round to facing me and concentrating.

The foal is only being asked for basic manners and is quite immature. Just really insisting on foot lifting, being touched all over, moving out the way, not showing aggression or temper, leading on both sides, backing, just beginning to do a little bit sideways.

As I have three unbroken ones, not through choice but just happened, I don't really have options of doing nothing with them. Suze and Leo would hopefully be backed this year as they are old enough, foally just needs to be kept under control and learn about going in trailers stuff like that, broaden her experience.

Bud joins in on a less regular basis, to try to build more of a bond with him and also to improve him being led, make him safer as he can pull a bit, so trying to get him lighter and more responsive - he actually is a lot better.
 
I have no advice (I can't even handle my two old biddies never mind a young 'un!) but I think reading all your experiences that you do a great job. Rome was not built in a day and all that. And like someone has already said, trainers are just that: its their job and its what makes them good, so yeah they should be able to handle them and get the right results every time. Don't be too down - stick some Jive Bunny on tonight and have a can of weak lager! Hehehe.
 
not jive bunny again......

actually when I was very young and even more foolish, I did actually jive pretty well....I did my year abroad in paris and we used to go out dancing a lot and one of the things that was in fashion was Ceroc dancing, a version of jive but not as frenetic. I got quite good at it!
 
diplomaticandtactful said:
not jive bunny again......

actually when I was very young and even more foolish, I did actually jive pretty well....I did my year abroad in paris and we used to go out dancing a lot and one of the things that was in fashion was Ceroc dancing, a version of jive but not as frenetic. I got quite good at it!
Click to expand...

Hehehe sounds good and I bet it kept you fit:biggrin:
 
I agree with the Rome wasn't built in a day.

Maybe when things go really well you need to write it down, we forget that things go well.
My friend does it jumping, its a bad round as had one down, to me its a good round that 11 stayed up.
For every not so good session you will another 9 brilliant ones. Youngsters are hard work, my current young cob will possibly be the last I start myself, they require a huge amount of time to educate.
 
Well, tobes and i had an nh instructor for a while and i would agree that whilst he learnt quicker from her he also disliked her intensely. I found the groundwork intensely boring and so did he. Groundwork for groundworks sake is boring. How about incorporating more interesting things into it like gate opening, or backing into her stable and having a carrot for it etc.?
 
we aren't doing ground work for ground works sake only, we are doing it to teach aids and get ready for backing the two older ones. I do take her around the garden, through gates, in and out of trees, round vehicles, in and out of plant pots, round the pond, along paths, under trees, just general stuff to get her used to new things.

her ground work isn't good enough/reliable enough to be too ambitious yet as we have yew trees nearby, so I can't risk her getting loose in the garden and getting access to them so have to be careful.

plus I don't have a school, so we have to work either on the yard or in the field, and we have been struggling with ground conditions.
 
This is just my opinion but I wouldn't even be thinking of sideways with a foal. I didn't begin to do anything like that until my lass was 3 because it does put a lot of strain on joints and it is the hardest movement to do.
We did mainly on the circle here and there as a preparation for lateral work.
 
we are talking about her crossing over her hinds, and crossing over her front one step, that's all. Just to move her around a bit and get her out of your space.
 
This thread also needs some photos of the lovely lady. Hint. :biggrin:
I bet she has grown so much, towering over my wee 14.1hh.
 
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