Could a subconscious lack of confidence be causing my riding ability to plateau?

[daniellinden]

Hi everyone,
I never normally post in forums but I have been having some struggles with my riding which, in the absence of any horse-minded friends, I wanted to get some advice about! I really hope someone here can help me; searched for Horse Forums and was quite surprised to see that you have a sub-forum dedicated to this very topic of confidence, so I surely can't be alone

I came back to riding about 6 months ago after a real break of quite a few years. I absolutely love it; I can't describe the feeling when I am in the stables around the horses.

My experiences since getting back into riding have been up and down. When I first started, I had a handful of private lessons so the instructor could assess which group to place me in. She was really vocal in her praise and saying I should definitely join the Advanced group. I was quite surprised, but of course really happy that she seemed to think I was capable. Whilst I definitely love it, I have since had quite a few group lessons which have felt "disastrous".... where I have really struggled to get the horse I am riding going in the right way. Admittedly this has improved a bit over time - before I was struggling to get the horse listening, into canter, etc...
At one point I was so frustrated, angry and upset at myself whilst riding this stubborn pony that I couldn't stop myself from crying tears of frustration as I flapped around on him just trying to get him into canter... I have at times felt really really awful, like everything is going wrong and I should just give up.

Some horses at the stables I'm riding at are definitely "better" or "easier" rides than others, of course, and there have been a couple of lessons where I have felt it's gone very well. However the key problem I seem to have, and the only thing an instructor ever really says to me (bear in mind I live abroad where most of the lesson is conducted in a language I don't speak properly) is "get your horse moving faster, make him work, that walk/trot/canter is too slow"
My main problem seems to be getting impulsion from the horse and the instructors are always telling me I have to be harder, stronger "show who is the boss" kind of thing. I really struggle with this. On the few occasions where I have been (what I feel is) REALLY sharp with the whip or spurs (never wore spurs until a couple of months ago!) and the horse has 'reacted' by springing forward, I have immediately felt nervous and wished they hadn't.

Which leads me to think that I am - without even really realizing - self-sabotaging my ability to progress with my riding because I am actually nervous of the horse getting away from my control.

Probably useful to mention that as a kid, I was a competent rider and used to train showjumpers for a lady who bred them. I had a nasty fall jumping a 5 foot spread (wasn't really injured, but totally damaged my confidence) during training one day which really shook me up, and ever since then I was only ever a happy hacker. I probably haven't had any formal 'instruction' on my riding since that point in time, and just had horses on loan and taken them out on hacks or for a very lazy pootle around the manege. Since then I have always been happier just spending time around the horses in the stables, doing the care/management stuff, and less bothered about the actual riding.

I am not in a position to own/loan a horse now, and honestly was very encouraged by the comments I got when I first had the private lessons a few months ago. I feel like I could have the capability to be a really strong rider, and I'd love to start working towards perhaps some basic dressage tests or similar, but I just seem to be plateauing at this level and i'm not sure how to get past it!

Does anyone have any advice? How can I teach myself to be less nervous when a horse is forward going? Am I inadvertently asking the horse not to be forward going, with my mind, even though my legs are saying something else?!
Please help, as I'm desperate to improve.

Thank you so much for reading; that was long.

danielinden

 

[squidsin]

In a nutshell - yes. You are asking your horse to go forward when you don't really want it to, so understandably the horse just isn't clear in the aids he (or she) is receiving and how he's meant to react. It doesn't matter how much you kick, if your mind is saying 'no don't go forward,' that's what the horse will react to. A horse that's properly taking you forward SHOULD feel like it's about to run off with you! That's the feeling my RI always tells me to aim for! I would advise private lessons with a sympathetic instructor. You don't say where you are, but in the UK, there are a lot of instructors that specialise in nervous riders. If you Google Jenni Winters or Amanda Kirkland Page, you'll find links to various courses/hypnotherapy MP3s etc you can get to help with riding confidence.

 

[KP nut]

I wouldn;t be happy spurring or whipping a horse to move either. A good few years ago I dedcided to get back into riding after a long break away at Uni etc/ I had a lesson and was on a stubborn horse who was very hard to get moving. In the end I manged half a lap of canter by booting him every stride. At that point I stopped and said 'this horse is hating this and so am I'. And I got off and never went back. I felt it was my fault that the horse would not move and I was very frustrated

But I think the root cause of my frustration was not actually a lack of confidence alone but a lack of confidence in the whole process: the instruction, the way I was riding, the way the horse was responding.

In the end I found a different Riding School and had a different experience. You are far from a novice and being nervous of a horse reacting sharply to spurs does not mean you would be nervous of a well schooled horse offering a forward canter.

 

[Jessey]

Hi welcome I'd agree it's definitely possible and does happen, forward doesn't just come from your legs, the seat, body and contact all play into it as you are aware, and if you are tense that could easily be misunderstood by the horse. But another thought, if the ri is happy to have you whip and spur then perhaps the horses are often subjected to that and are somewhat switched off to lighter aids. And if you are hindering your own progress why is your RI not addressing it? I think perhaps looking for another school/RI might help you

 

[Jane&Ziggy]

I can understand that you might have confidence issues, but I agree with the others that it doesn't sound as if the school is helping you. I would be really unhappy about having to use such strong aids to get a horse to move and I would be inclined to look for a place where the horses are better schooled, less sour, or more responsive (choose whichever applies).

If you're stuck with this school, then you can address the immediate issue which is that because the horse can respond with a leap forward you have an underlying anxiety. I quite see why! How about you ask for a neck strap if the horse isn't using a martingale, and before you apply a spur or whip aid you make sure you have a good grip of the oh sh*t strap? Then if the horse does bound, you will feel more secure and be able to give the aid with more confidence.

I have a pony who is usually whizzy but can be lazy, so I have a lot of experience of this. He dawdles, I get cross and give him a kick (he normally hardly needs a forward aid) and he jumps away and can leave me behind if I'm not ready!

 

[Mary Poppins]

Riding school horses can be very difficult and it's so hard to make improvements when they ridden by so many different people. I didn't really learn to ride properly until I got my own horse, and that was after 25 years of lessons.

Can you go back to having private lessons like you did at the beginning.

 

[eml]

From the point of view of an RS owner , two things strike me.... I would never put a 'stubborn pony ' in any lesson let alone an advanced class. Occasionally we may ask one of our more advanced riders to ride a 'basic' horse to give it variety but that will be with their agreement.

The second is that you are struggling with learning in a different country.It is quite posible that styles of riding may be very different. My daughter spent a year abroad at a top European centre and was amazed by the differences in horses care, schooling and responses to riders aids

 

[horseandgoatmom]

Other people have had some really good thoughts.
It sounds like your not having as much fun with the lessons as you should have.
YOU should be really looking forward to going to one not half dreading it.
I would talk to the instructor and If you can afford it go back to private lessons
then you can Immediately address something with your instructor right then
and not have to feel you have to muddle thru because your in a group lesson.