Confidence Shattered

[Drummie13]

Hi all. Im 46yrs old... I started riding lessons apprx 18 mths ago after giving up lessons when I was a child aged 8 (major mistake). I got a foot back in though by just having a hack twice a year with my friend for apprx 7 years. but we both decided we wanted more than £25 for an hour walk trot through a wood/country park. So found a friendly established riding school. I was doing great on the school horses, although never had much confidence in my ability despite the instructor telling me I was a good rider (but hard on myself & perfectionist). She had me doing small jumps on a 16.2HH who was a tad grumpy & also on a mare who was very head strong. I handled both horses brilliantly & was so pleased & proud of myself. My only thing was I panicked if I lost a stirrup. I love horses so much I wanted to be around them more & more & I don't have the money to own one I'm not that blessed lol. I put an ad online to offer help with stable duties in exchange for tips on riding (not to loan or share horse) I know I must be mad working for free . In end my boss who has her own, got me a Welsh section C mare, to look after on a Sunday with 2 other 'green' horsies. So it ended up I looked after the 3 amigos & got to ride the MARE (Gemma) whenever I wanted.... happy days... or so I thought. She was an absolute NIGHTMARE! we only had her in the menage but she spooked at EVERYTHING I came off her just trotting around she spun I came off & unfortunately got dragged a little way & received a kick on my knee cap as she bolted I was distraught BUT ladies & germs I did get back on. But I was so scared. I carried on at my riding school as normal & tried to continue riding Gemma but she was so angry & nappy it wasn't a nice experience. I then had one lesson at the school where the 16HH fella had a grumpy day n stamped his feet etc. & I got scared & refused to carry on my lesson. Then 5 weeks ago I had last attempt at the farm & she threw a wobbly over trotting poles & even though I hung on for dear life Gemma literally spun round 3 times until I came off, I ended up with an egg on my head (no idea how as had my hat on) & 3 black fingers one of which turned out to be broken! ! So I've finished riding her as it killed my confidence with her & also with the riding school horses. I'm now back to sitting on the schools horses looking like a rabbit in headlights and not wanting to even go over trotting poles in case the horse spooks like Gemma did.
I did go on an hour hack on my beautiful fave horsey at the riding school with my broken finger the week after. Now I'm wondering if I'm too old for all this & should I stop wasting my money I have a cracked disc in my spine of 5 years so trotting is pretty painful, bit i never let that ztop me. I love horses so much it's all I talk about & I just wish I could stop being so nervous x

 

[Jessey]

You're never too old to ride, just wise enough to realise your limitations and I think Gemma sounds like more trouble than its worth.
Just take a deep breath, maybe a little rescue remedy, and try to remember the school horses have their job still for a reason and are unlikely to pull the antics Gemma did. You will no doubt start to feel better after a few positive lessons

 

[Wally]

Nope it's called getting older and knowing you don't bounce any more when you fall.

In my youth that Welsh C would have just been a wheeze for me, now? I cannot be bothered. I KNOW I don;t bounce any more, I cannot afford time off for broken things so I assess my risks careful.
I used to X country and event , hunt and hunter trial. I don't jump any more,
I don't mind admitting I had a crashing fall, and since then am very careful about what horse I get on. There is no shame being careful.

A little nippy Welsh C is not an easy thing to stay on they are so quick. Get back on the big safe Riding school horses who are less likely to spin and spook with you and give yourself time to recover and get your confidence back.

 

[CharliesAngel]

what a shame. dont feel so down on yourself, it sounds like the welsh c was just not suitable and you should be very proud of yourself for keeping going and being so brave!! Stick at the RS just now and if I were you Id go to a few others as well to see how you feel on different horses. If you look to help/share again do try to find something older that is really quiet. that’s not to say in time you wont be able to ride other things as well (however Im with Wally, I dont ‘do’ welshies nowadays) but we’ve all been there!! Id also look at a BP or airjacket - Im only weeks off being 40 and I never ride without my airjacket. I had a couple of nasty falls in the last 5 years and hurt my back, Im actually waiting for a scan referal as Im having loads of probs with my lower back and left leg - may or may not be related to prev falls but I will not let it stop me. I just make sure Im as safe as I can be. Also check your footwear - are your riding boots suitable, I never ride in country boots or anything chunky. I also always use safety stirrups which on RS horses may not be possible if they dont have them but you can make sure you have a slim boot that is less likely to be stuck if you come off. Good luck and take heart!!

 

[horseandgoatmom]

As Jessey said your never too old!!
And Wally- you know you don't bounce anymore.
Many of us do not do some aspects of riding we may have done in younger years.
Don't beat your self up the horse sounds like it was really not that suitable.

Many of us LOVE a walk/trot thru a woods or country park. Have you ever done it in fall when the leaves are down
and the horses hooves make a lovely crunching sound along the path. For me its PURE HEAVEN.

To have a bit of variety and fun Is there any place near you that can offer VERSATILITY OBSTACLES.
Its more low key than jumping but lots of fun.
I have no need to jump anymore.

 

[Skib]

I dont have time to write you now the reply you deserve. But I would echo what the others say about never too old. We had a lady in her 90s ride at our yard recently, and I swear it is the riding that keeps me and my OH fit. Yes, one can fall off horses, but the benefits, both physical and mental, of fresh air, exercise and animal companionship outweigh the risks.
So dont write yourself off.
Next thing to realise is that everyone does get frightened from time to time. And after a scare, the best way to start riding again is little by little - just walk till you feel ready to trot. Being frightened of a new horse or a new place isnt something that is every going to be totally solved - you will meet it again for sure since we humans tend to outlive the horses we ride. We also may endure ill health in hold age. But have a strategy in place to take things very slowly and you will be surprised how quickly you recover the pleasure of being on a horse.
Finally recognise that being frightened makes sense. It is our instinct to preserve ourselves. And all horses spook from time to time. So the way to defend oneself is to get the skills needed to stay in the saddle - good balance and feel in the saddle, and an understanding of how the horse's mind works work well in old age and compensate for any lack of athleticism.

 

[Mary Poppins]

Sometimes I think that you just have to accept that you are nervous and then be very picky about the horses that you ride. I have been riding for 35 years, and I am the worlds most nervous rider. I have owned my saint of a horse for 5 years now and I have absolutely no desire to ride another horse. The vast majority of horses would shatter my confidence, but with my own horse I have built up such a good relationship and trust with him, that I can do anything.

Riding is all about enjoyment and you need to find a horse you click with. This can be easier said than done, but as a general rule, if you don't feel confident there is absolutely no shame in getting off. Don't let the experience with this horse put you off, she sounds totally unsuitable for a novice.