Confidence knock big time

antonia :)

antonia :)

New Member
Apr 18, 2007
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Essex Bird =]
Hi all, just a small rant!

Well theirs a girl at my stables, lets call her "smarty". Well everytime she sees me ride she has to make a nasty comment about me not being able to control a spcific horse called suki. I try to avoid suki so we dont have he same situation where "smarty" sees me riding and makes nasty comments.

She can be a spiteful aswell and very pushy. I cant tell her to stop coming to the yard but she asks for my help then gets all bitchy and pushy about it.:confused::eek:

I cant take these comments anymore as they are making me feel worse on suki ( who is a fave) and that i shouldnt ride her if i cant stop her.:mad:
 
you could always try talkin to her, be firm and stand up for yourself, tell her you don' appreciate it. if that fails you could always to the whole 'are you my RI? nope, thought not, so shut up' :rolleyes: could work:p.
she sounds like shes taking you for advantage abit, by asking you to help then being abit of a stinker
 
This girl can say what she wants but it is up to you how you let her make you feel ;)

I personally feel sorry for anyone that feels the need to continually put people down in all probability to make themselves feel better. If they were that good and that confident then they wouldn't need to would they ;)
 
He he I could tell by them name smarty exactly what you were gonna say about her before you did :)

Ignore her.
Some good old sayings for her
Sweep your own doortstep before you sweep others
My personal favourite
The reason a dog has so many friends is cause he wags his tail instead of his tongue
 
Nope, you can't tell her to stop coming to the yard, but you can definitely stop helping her if she can't be nice to you. You might also try simply challenging her spitefulness - see example below;

Smarty: Antonia, you look rubbish when you ride Suki !

Antonia: (loudly, so that other people on the yard can hear) Smarty, does it make you feel better to criticise my riding like that?

Believe me, you might feel a bit daft at first, but other people will respect you for standing up for yourself and the only person who will really look silly is Smarty. I am sure there are loads of other people on the yard for you to talk to, so I would just avoid Smarty as much as you can.
 
Who appointed her a Riding Guru? Does she compete at Prix St George? Has she ridden the Grand National? Has she competed at Badminton? Don't think so!

In the world of horses everyone seems to have an opinion that they will give freely, whether or not you want or value it.

What you have to do is decide which peoples opinions you respect and ignore the rest.

One thing you could say to this girl is ... "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all"

Don't fall in to the trap of bad mouthing her, or rising to her comments. Like all bullies she is after is a response.

Maintain your dignity. With peopel like this, if you give them enough rope they will hang themselves. No doubt she will keep on making her smug comments and if karma has anything to do with its she will come a cropper!
 
Who is this kid anyway? Is she another livery, or another helper? Whoever she is, she definitely doesn't have the right to make you feel bad. Even if she was Suki's owner, your riding instructor obviously feels that you are capable of riding Suki, so Smarty should just mind her own business.

'Tis funny, when I was a young kid, back in the Stone Age, I desperately wanted to be one of the girls who helped out at the riding school, but my parents wouldn't let me. i saw them all bustling around, fetching ponies, mucking out, and running around having generally horsey fun together, and thought they were all the best of mates, because they all had so much in common. Evidently, I was completely wrong !
 
Gruntfuttock said:
Who is this kid anyway? Is she another livery, or another helper? Whoever she is, she definitely doesn't have the right to make you feel bad. Even if she was Suki's owner, your riding instructor obviously feels that you are capable of riding Suki, so Smarty should just mind her own business.

'Tis funny, when I was a young kid, back in the Stone Age, I desperately wanted to be one of the girls who helped out at the riding school, but my parents wouldn't let me. i saw them all bustling around, fetching ponies, mucking out, and running around having generally horsey fun together, and thought they were all the best of mates, because they all had so much in common. Evidently, I was completely wrong !
Click to expand...

I have never come across so much bitching that I have in horse riding. :eek: It is unreal, all of these girls who think they ae amazing, and when you take them off their push button horse and put them on a real horse they fall off repatedly in one lesson and then beat the horse for being rubbish- foul beasts!! :rolleyes:
 
my response to her would have been 'bite me'. ;-) but thats not the best way to act here as it will only make you look bad (my mouth frequently gets me in trouble).

The dali lama once said an insult is like a gift, you can choose wether or not to accept it. Don't accept this girls rudeness. next time she says something - ignore her. Trust me it will drive her mad. Another thing you can do is kill her with kindness just answer 'thanks for the wonderful advice' she will know you don't mean it! Just don't rise to it.


I have dealt with girls like this before its common with horses they seem to have the need to tell others what they are doing wrong yet have no interest when you do something well.

I work in an office with a girl like this at the moment (so its not just a horsey thing). She often feels the need to make unwarranted smart comments about my work and loves to overhear me on the phone. My response last time was to answer 'really, good for you'. I gave her a look, turned away and she has kept her mouth ever since as she looked like an idiot
 
Can she ride Suki very well? Because she may possibly be jealous because you ride her well. Some people are petty when they see some one is better than them at something. :)
 
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