Confidence Issues ... Big Ones

[ponylover88]

I had a jumping lesson on Libby today. Yes the one i unfortunately fell off a month or so ago. Ive not managed to ride her since and so its been playing on my mind but i finally got back on her and jumped her. When i fell off her, she took off into the jump, then stopped at the last minute and ran out sharpish. She went to take off into a jump today and it really freaked me out.
Bet my instructors getting sick of me now, because the 3 lessons weve had her its not improving much at all. Shes told me today that she thinks i should withdraw from my stage 2 because of my confidence jumping.
The first jump that we jumped today it was ok, but not what id call great and i wasnt really happy with it and Libby started messing around trying to take off with me, and so i was going to walk her to the approach then trot her but my instructor shouted to me 'hurry up, get a move on because Blobbys coming up behind you'. I just physically couldnt jump her knowing she just wanted it all rushed etc so i pulled her in and waited til everyone else had been. The longer the lesson went on the better i felt and we were jumping a cross then turning back on ourselves to jump a spread. Now, in my book its reasonably wide because ive not jumped many and i generally seem to always end up underneath them!
I still did it, my my instructor was so serious in her voice about me withdrawing, but my mum wouldnt forgive me if i did. Its not like im paying for my stage 2 anyway, but i really would like to pass it. Im going to start having jumping lessons again at my local RS on a couple of mares who i like to start rebuilding my confidence up. However, i dont think this is going to help because its a different atmosphere and im comfy and feel safe at my local RS.
Has anyone got any ideas on how to improve my confidence jumping?

 

[Rips]

Sounds like your instructor is putting pressure on you... is there no chance you can school Libby yourself? (outside your instructed lessons) Groundwork for a lesson to just build confidence and then a lesson with just Xpoles and small jumps.

 

[raingodz]

Sadly I have no advice about building confidence up for jumping, but from what you are saying this is what you were doing in todays lesson but just not in the way the RI wanted you to.

Am I right in thinking that your confidence, or lack of, is more to do with that particular horse rather than jumping in general? I know that you and Blobby make a good team for jumping

Is there any chance you could do some extra jumping with Libby during the week?

I hope you are allowed to do you stage 2 becasue I'm sure on the day you will be able to do it fine.

 

[ponylover88]

Im allowed to do my stage 2, but shes advised me not too. I can request i have her for our flat lesson on wednesday but theres no chance of me having her to myself out of a lesson.
Ive been going thru all that with the shows they run, i want to do a few shows to help with my confidence but i need an instructor to supervise me. However, im not sure on the booking the indoor school, booking a hoss (if possible) and an instructor.
Shes a very good instructor, and she was sympathetic to a point where she was asking me whether i wanted to do the jumps etc. - I only did them to prove to myself and everyone else i dont always have to fall off the mare when i jump her!!!
Most people in my group have ok'ed me having Libby next week in our jumping lesson so im going to request her to make sure i get her. Im generally nervous for the first jump or so, depending on the horse (Blobby is the only horse at college which i can jump on and ride away at any pace without a second thought towards nerves) jumping hers also not a problem.
I have to work this little thing out with me and Libby though, because shes one of my favourites at college, and believe me theres not that many!! 5 or 6 horses to jump out of the whole 27 odd horses in the school.