Children and owning a horse

[MrA]

Interested to hear advice, stories, wise words etc from everyone about how they managed or would potentially manage owning a horse around being pregnant/ having kids.

We need to decide if this is right for us to go down this route one day, but lots to consider and just curious really.

Ale is kept on full DIY living out 24/7, one of my friends is a new mum and seeing a glimpse of this I've no clue how you manage horses and work around that all

 

[Kite_Rider]

I’ve no idea to be honest but I know several friends who’ve done it, one of them I had to practically shove her in the car so her husband could take her to hospital (she was in labour and trying to finish mucking out) she rode until she was about 7 months pregnant and bought the baby with her to the yard every visit from two days old, said child actually has her own pony now, so it certainly can be done, knowing you Ale you’d take it all in your stride and make it work.

 

[chunky monkey]

To be honest i think you have to take it as it happens. You can plan to a degree but theres always things that come up in life which you cant plan for.
In a way as Ale is not ridden and is outside it should be easier to manage. I guess it would depend on you as an individual if you were up to going to see your horse if you were pregnant. Sorry my words aren't coming out right. You know what i mean, say if you were in too much discomfort. For some prenancy is a breeze, others its a nightmare.
I guess you would have to work out if you were going to return to work and child attend nursery/school. After school clubs. Then you might be spending time toing and froing so it may make it difficult to look after a horse. Plenty of people manage it though.

 

[Mary Poppins]

I think that if you want anything badly enough you make it work. I didn’t have Ben when I was pregnant but I bought him when my youngest was 18 months so I have plenty of experience juggling toddlers/children with horses. My very supportive husband helped loads and in the early days I would go and see Ben in the evenings after 7pm when the kids were in bed. It was a juggling act and sometimes I felt neither horse or kids were getting enough of me, but I made it work.

 

[Lollykay]

I was raised on a small dairy farm, maternal grandparents dairied, paternal grandparents had beef and granddad’s love was putting two Welsh/Morgans on the ground every year.

It was all second nature to me, including figuring out how to pick my battles. I was cleaning stalls the morning of the afternoon my son was born. My SIL took care of the horses until the doctor said I could go to the barn.

My horses were handled every single day, so if they went several months without being ridden it was no big deal. I am a lifelong trail rider - good broke trail horses stay broke, they may need their spook factor lowered a notch or two after a few months off but they stay broke.

The folks I rode with in those days were all raised on farms, where children had “jobs” by the time they were five. We ended up being Weekend Warrior Riders for a long time and there were times someone’s horses sat idle because children had sports, etc. it was no big deal as they were dead broke trail horses, ready to head for the mountains at a moments notice. Trail riding is not like showing where the horse has to be constantly schooled, once they’ve “got it”:, they‘ve got it

1. Pick your battles.
2. Stay well organized
3. Handle the horse as often as possible, as opposed to putting it in pasture with no attention

 

[MrA]

I’ve no idea to be honest but I know several friends who’ve done it, one of them I had to practically shove her in the car so her husband could take her to hospital (she was in labour and trying to finish mucking out) she rode until she was about 7 months pregnant and bought the baby with her to the yard every visit from two days old, said child actually has her own pony now, so it certainly can be done, knowing you Ale you’d take it all in your stride and make it work.

My trimmer worked up until about 5 days before she gave birth! Only trimming the sensible horses mind but she was huge and juggling a toddler in tow. Very impressive and hats off to people who could do that, I'm not too sure how I would cope

 

[MrA]

To be honest i think you have to take it as it happens. You can plan to a degree but theres always things that come up in life which you cant plan for.
In a way as Ale is not ridden and is outside it should be easier to manage. I guess it would depend on you as an individual if you were up to going to see your horse if you were pregnant. Sorry my words aren't coming out right. You know what i mean, say if you were in too much discomfort. For some prenancy is a breeze, others its a nightmare.
I guess you would have to work out if you were going to return to work and child attend nursery/school. After school clubs. Then you might be spending time toing and froing so it may make it difficult to look after a horse. Plenty of people manage it though.

I definitely get what you mean, of course alot depends on the actual pregnancy, birth, baby etc. We have so much to think about before we make a decision, Ale is just a tiny chunk of all of that. You are right that so many people do absolutely fine, I'm sure loads struggle too. I'm just curious to hear all sides

 

[MrA]

I think that if you want anything badly enough you make it work. I didn’t have Ben when I was pregnant but I bought him when my youngest was 18 months so I have plenty of experience juggling toddlers/children with horses. My very supportive husband helped loads and in the early days I would go and see Ben in the evenings after 7pm when the kids were in bed. It was a juggling act and sometimes I felt neither horse or kids were getting enough of me, but I made it work.

That's very true, maybe we will decide it's not for us after doing the research, or maybe we will who knows. Just don't want to go into it all clueless! Good to hear, thank you

 

[MrA]

I was raised on a small dairy farm, maternal grandparents dairied, paternal grandparents had beef and granddad’s love was putting two Welsh/Morgans on the ground every year.

It was all second nature to me, including figuring out how to pick my battles. I was cleaning stalls the morning of the afternoon my son was born. My SIL took care of the horses until the doctor said I could go to the barn.

My horses were handled every single day, so if they went several months without being ridden it was no big deal. I am a lifelong trail rider - good broke trail horses stay broke, they may need their spook factor lowered a notch or two after a few months off but they stay broke.

The folks I rode with in those days were all raised on farms, where children had “jobs” by the time they were five. We ended up being Weekend Warrior Riders for a long time and there were times someone’s horses sat idle because children had sports, etc. it was no big deal as they were dead broke trail horses, ready to head for the mountains at a moments notice. Trail riding is not like showing where the horse has to be constantly schooled, once they’ve “got it”:, they‘ve got it

1. Pick your battles.
2. Stay well organized
3. Handle the horse as often as possible, as opposed to putting it in pasture with no attention

You certainly sound like one of those mum's I have total admiration for!! Thanks for the advice and input, really interesting to hear it all.

 

[Jessey]

I don't have kids myself, but I know loads of people who manage kids and horses so it's possible!
But when I had my friends 5 year old for a week earlier this year, I can say I don't know how they manage it I mean we got it done, but it took planning and everything took twice as long as normal. Poor kid one night was so cold, she had blue lips but the horses still needed their hay, all I could think to tell her was to snuggle under Hanks mane until I was done, which she did and had warmed up by the time we left (I borrowed a snow suit for her the next day and stuffed it with hot water bottles and the rest of the week was fine, lesson learned!). It wasn't just doing horses that was hard though, everything was harder and took longer.

 

[domane]

No advice from me, I'm afraid. I sold my horse when I was 21 to buy a house, then got married and had 3 children in quick succession. I didn't come back to horses for 21 years, literally half my life again, by which time they were grown up, I was divorced and married again!!

 

[Jane&Ziggy]

My best horsey friend has two little girls, now 9 and 6 (how time flies!). She rode until 6 weeks before the first baby, roughed off her mare and loan horse and looked after them for the last 6 weeks, I did them for 2 weeks while she had Isla. She was back after those 2 weeks and brought baby with her to the field, riding again within 6 weeks. She backed her own youngster in between babies! It can definitely be done, but you have to be determined and ignore people who say "what do you mean you leave your baby in a car seat in a shelter while you look after your horses?!"

 

[MrA]

I don't have kids myself, but I know loads of people who manage kids and horses so it's possible!
But when I had my friends 5 year old for a week earlier this year, I can say I don't know how they manage it I mean we got it done, but it took planning and everything took twice as long as normal. Poor kid one night was so cold, she had blue lips but the horses still needed their hay, all I could think to tell her was to snuggle under Hanks mane until I was done, which she did and had warmed up by the time we left (I borrowed a snow suit for her the next day and stuffed it with hot water bottles and the rest of the week was fine, lesson learned!). It wasn't just doing horses that was hard though, everything was harder and took longer.

Wish I could borrow a child for a trial, would perhaps put me right off the idea. Sounds like you coped really well with the problem. My friend said she totally underestimated how much her life would change so I just want to research as much as I can before we decide anything

 

[MrA]

My best horsey friend has two little girls, now 9 and 6 (how time flies!). She rode until 6 weeks before the first baby, roughed off her mare and loan horse and looked after them for the last 6 weeks, I did them for 2 weeks while she had Isla. She was back after those 2 weeks and brought baby with her to the field, riding again within 6 weeks. She backed her own youngster in between babies! It can definitely be done, but you have to be determined and ignore people who say "what do you mean you leave your baby in a car seat in a shelter while you look after your horses?!"

I was left in my pushchair whilst my mum used to ride or left with people down the yard while she went for a hack I haven't ridden in ages now but it would more be while caring for Ale as no way I could afford part livery especially if there was a baby!

 

[MrA]

Thanks for all the input and stories of people you know

 

[Mary Poppins]

One thing I would say is that having children is absolutely the best thing I have done with my life. It’s hard on so many levels, but more wonderful than I can ever describe.

 

[Huggy]

One thing I would say is that having children is absolutely the best thing I have done with my life. It’s hard on so many levels, but more wonderful than I can ever describe.

Absolutely agree - and I got to do it again with grandchildren! I would add though, that nature had good reason to limit women childbearing in later years - exhausting doesn't come close!

 

[Skib]

to limit women childbearing in later years - exhausting doesn't come close!

That is said to be why female humans and apes live on after childbearing, so they are there to suport the daughter and grandchild.
At the time I resented the kids robbing me of my life and career. But now I notice that my friends without chidren do find life harder in old age. even though they had more brilliant careers.

 

[Huggy]

I suppose I was lucky - I hated my career (teaching), and was quite happy to let it slide when I started a family. And I absolutely loved being a mum. I rode from when my son started playgroup, and bought Ramsey when my daughter started, and he was at school. Neither the children or the horse interfered with each other - they just rubbed along. Any jobs I had, I was lucky enough to fit them around both.

 

[Bodshi]

I didn't ride when my children were little but honestly have no idea how people do it. I wouldn't have even wanted a horse at that time, I just put all my focus into the kids. Mind you 4 small boys is quite time consuming.

I know people do it and I guess if you've already got the horse/s you find a way because that is your life. It's that stage where you can strap them into a pushchair but they cry all the time, or worse when they get too old to keep strapped in but just want to charge about and hit each other with sticks or yard brooms/shaving forks etc.

I do think mine were quite badly behaved together. Even going shopping was a nightmare with them playing hide and seek in the clothes rails or getting left behind when they stopped to admire their own reflection in a shop window. One used to escape from his pushchair regularly despite being double strapped in. Goodness knows how they all survived, no thanks to their mother

Maybe one well behaved child would be ok with horses!