Buying a new horse - heart or head?

squidsin

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Feb 16, 2013
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Just wondering - when you saw your horse-to-be, was it love at first sight and that whole 'wow, I must have him/her' vibe, or did you think, hmmm, he or she is what I am looking for and I think we could be good together?

Saw a horse today and while it wasn't love at first sight (for either of us, I'd say), I think she could be good for me and take my riding forward. But do I want that, or do I want a horse with the 'wow factor'? (My husband would kill me for typing that, he's got a real bee in his bonnet about people saying that on property programmes. But anyway!)
 
Oh gosh never buy a horse on the Wow factor alone! It depends what you want out of your horse really, I am always seeking to improve so for me a very plain-looking horse that could "take my riding forward" would be quite high up the list. Personally I think a combination of head and heart is a good idea. I wonder if the reason so many people end up with unsuitable horses is because they let their heart take over? - I think even if you have a "good feeling" about a horse you still need to look at it from a practical point of view.
 
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Erm, neither. He wasn't at all what I wanted - but he was the only 'dopey' cob type that would carry my weight when I was looking and I found the whole horse buying experience very stressful - he was the first horse I viewed, I saw two more and just went back and said yes. Heart wasn't in it, head wasn't totally convinced we were right for each other. It was a bit of a 'meh' situation. Now though, wouldn't change him for the world.
 
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Started off with head, a list of attributes in ascending order and a realistic budget for horse allowing at least that much again for tack ect. Allowed at least a year in my head to find 'the one' and planned on carrying on with my loaner, doing a lot of research and ride as many different horses as I could to get experience in the meantime.

Then I went to see a pony that met most of the top 10 things I wanted except he was way over budget and too short, but that did not matter because I was only going to look for research purposes, I definitely was NOT going to buy the first one I saw.

Yeah right....... he was delivered two weeks later. Luckily his lovely owner took pity on me, delivered him for free and he came with a full kit of tack and more rugs than a fat native would ever need. And he has ruled my world ever since.
 
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Oh gosh never buy a horse on the Wow factor alone! It depends what you want out of your horse really, I am always seeking to improve so for me a very plain-looking horse that could "take my riding forward" would be quite high up the list. Personally I think a combination of head and heart is a good idea. I wonder if the reason so many people end up with unsuitable horses is because they let their heart take over? - I think even if you have a "good feeling" about a horse you still need to look at it from a practical point of view.

I want to improve so a horse that can take my riding forward is a must. That's non-negotiable for me. It's not really about looks - the mare I saw today was very pretty - more about a vibe, a connection. I just didn't feel that with her. BUT she's obviously very well-schooled and seemed safe so in that sense, exactly what I am looking for. And, with humans, you don't always get that connection straightaway anyway. When I went on that first date with my now-husband, I was distinctly underwhelmed, but here we are, a decade later, with two kids and very happy together! So I appreciate the value of a slow-burning relationship!
 
I was lucky that I already knew Ben before he came up for sale, but I always lusted after him. His previous owners had 2 younger sharers (about 10 years old) for him who were sisters and I remember watching them firstly trying to get on him (he is 16.1hh) where he stood like a rock, and then watching him safely look after him in the school where they just cantered him round the track. I used to always go and say hello to him after I had ridden my old share horse (who was on the same yard) and wished on several occasions that I had a horse like him. When he came up for sale I snapped him up. He had stolen my heart completely, but my head also knew how sensible he was and had to have him.
 
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I was lucky that I already knew Ben before he came up for sale, but I always lusted after him. His previous owners had 2 younger sharers (about 10 years old) for him who were sisters and I remember watching them firstly trying to get on him (he is 16.1hh) where he stood like a rock, and then watching him safely look after him in the school where they just cantered him round the track. I used to always go and say hello to him after I had ridden my old share horse (who was on the same yard) and wished on several occasions that I had a horse like him. When he came up for sale I snapped him up. He had stolen my heart completely, but my head also knew how sensible he was and had to have him.

None of my friends has a horse I'd like to buy! Some nice horses, but none quite what I am looking for. The search continues...
 
I understand why people dream of turning up to a viewing and getting "that" feeling straight away, but I don't necessarily think you should place TOO much importance on the whole "instant connection" thing. I've met and ridden a lot of horses that I got on well with at the beginning but liked them less and less the more I got to know them. Likewise I have known a lot that I was initially indifferent about, but grew to like and enjoy them more as time went on. For me a "connection" isn't an instant thing - I feel connected to a horse when I know them well, when we understand each other, when we have established trust and respect and spent a lot more time together. First impressions are definitely very important but for me it's a practical consideration more than an emotional one. You might have "a good feeling" when you meet them - but are you actually COMPATIBLE in a way that makes a successful long-term relationship likely? Do you have compatible personalities, or characteristics that are likely to clash? Does it feel like your riding style suits the horse? (and what is the horse telling you about that?). Does the horse actually have the potential to be what you'd like it to be / do what you'd like it to do? - and if it turns out that they CAN'T do what you wanted, will you be willing to change your plans? What do you want to get out of horse ownership, and can this horse offer you that? Those are the sort of "head" things that you need to factor into your decisions, there are boxes that need to be ticked and often if you just listen to your heart the important stuff kind of gets glossed over! I think that picking horses based on "vibes" is quite a risky approach - not only could you end up choosing the wrong horse, but it may also mean losing out on a really super one simply because you didn't say Wow.
 
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OBC is coming with me to meet her tomorrow and to give me a second opinion so I will report back.
 
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I agree Joosie, I don't think there should necessarily be a 'love at first sight' situation. I know looks are not important, but all I'd want really, is a nice eye. I spend so much time concentrated on my horse's eyes and ears, that I wanted to like what I saw. I know a lot of folk go on about a 'kind eye'. I just call it a nice eye. Kindness has nothing to do with it!!!
 
Second opinion is good :) But someone who will tell you what they really think, not what they think you want to hear! I think OBC will tick that box :p
 
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With sox it was kinda the'vibe' thing. They jumped him and at first he refused and jumped it the seconnd time and to be honest. I thought I can give him the condfidence he needs with his jumping .
 
With Rubic I rode her in one lesson and my instructor said how well we got on. I liked her attitude and her ability. She wanted to try her best to do what you were asking and she had a good jump on her an nice paces for a cob. I wasn't looking for a horse and if I was I don't think I would have wanted a 14.2hh cob (it certainly wouldn't be top of my list, I always imagined owning a 15.2hh sports horse type) but at my next lesson I rode her again and my RI said the same again and this time said "she's for sale" (she really wasn't riding school material) and then my brain started ticking... I'd say that is where my heart took over. She was the horse for me, she could do everything I wanted to do and we did seem to get on well but I had just graduated. I had a job that was only a 1 year contract and I was just starting "life" after being stuck in education. It probably wasn't the best time to buy a horse! Anyway. I feel it depends entirely on the situation. In mine I'd say it probably was heart over head but Rubic was a suitable horse for me. I think this horse sounds like it might be suitable for you too.

I have to be honest, I honestly cannot think of any horses I've sat on first time and thought "Wow!". I certainly didn't think that with Rubic the first time I rode her, I liked her but there was no "wow". I have thought it while riding her but only after we'd gotten to know each other and I realised how lucky I was. Just because the wow-factor isn't there now doesn't mean it will never be ;)

Let us know how you get on.
 
Yeah I agree with Rubic, I think you make your own 'wow' together over a period of time. I pity anyone who buys a horse and doesn't get to experience a few hurdles to overcome in the pursuit of the perfect partnership.
 
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I was invited along by a friend to a viewing once.... to be his voice of reason, the head to his heart, the knowledgeable, sensible one. Before he'd even finished parking his car, I could see her gorgeous face sticking out over the stable door and I breathed "Oh Gary! She's BEAUTIFUL.... you HAVE to have her....." Oops! FAIL! (He did buy her and they went on to have a beautiful partnership.... until his marriage failed and he had to sell her :( )
 
Just wondering - when you saw your horse-to-be, was it love at first sight and that whole 'wow, I must have him/her' vibe, or did you think, hmmm, he or she is what I am looking for and I think we could be good together?

Saw a horse today and while it wasn't love at first sight (for either of us, I'd say), I think she could be good for me and take my riding forward. But do I want that, or do I want a horse with the 'wow factor'? (My husband would kill me for typing that, he's got a real bee in his bonnet about people saying that on property programmes. But anyway!)




This will sound very corny but it is true!!! The moment we pulled onto the yard where Joe was kept we both spotted him with his head poking over the stable. We both turned to each other and blurted out "god I hope that's him"!!! (We hadn't seen a pic of him only a description as he was not advertised publicly). We both just knew the moment he came out of his box. We put a deposit down there and then and shook on it - despite not having had him vetted at that point. We both rode him in the arena and I have to say, he made me feel like a queen up there on his back. He was amazing to me, plus I was very nervous but he made me feel safe and I will NEVER forget sitting on him and feeling so good. Even though he was big at 16.2hh for me (I am five nothing) I felt fine. And as for OH....Well, he gibbered all the way home and pestered the vet to get out there asap to vet him then we could take him home!!!
So yes, def love at first sight!!
 
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