Buying a horse, do I have unrealistic expectations

greys

Member
Nov 12, 2012
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I have been looking for a horse for a few months, but more seriously in the last few weeks & am getting disheartened that I will ever find one, I am not sure they even exist & am wondering if I have unrealistic expectations?

I am in my early 40's, I have been riding from 4 to my late teens, during that time I was a pony mad child spending all my weekends at the local riding school helping out, falling off etc & did own my own pony.

I started riding again last year & have been having weekly lessons at a RS, I feel comfortable I am cantering without stirrups & doing a bit of dressage, I appreciate I'm not by any stretch of the imagination great but I think I am competent & so does my instructor.

I am after a steady family horse for hacking & light schooling, someone who doesn't need to be ridden every day. I have phoned up about a few horses which from the ad seem to fit the bill, but when I explain where I am riding wise & what I want suddenly their horse is unsuitable :cry:

Yesterday I went to see a RS horse who was described as an ideal safe first horse, he was safe because you couldn't get him to actually move :banghead: The instructor selling the horse said I needed to get angry with him & use my stick but that to me isn't what I want, I don't want to be kicking the living daylights out of a horse to get him to move. She said he was perfect for me & she wouldn't consider anything more forward to be suitable. I am not a nervous rider I just want to enjoy my riding on an easy horse.

So do such a horse exist can you get easy, safe, forward going horses for my level of riding?
 
No you are not and the right horse is just around the corner, take you time, ask the right questions and the right horse will just appear.

LWTB had much the same issues and she found Tango, PM found Ben there are lots of poeple on here that have been through the buying process and come out the other end happy. Me included.

What you can do is share the details of what you are looking for, The perfect pony and we all love helping to horse hunt:biggrin:
 
What you are looking for is what everyone wants and no one sells once they have found them!! The good versions of this will not come cheaply..what is your budget?

As far as owners are concerned I think it depends on how you express your experience to them. Having said that the ones that don't waste your time are probably the honest ones, are you reading adverts correctly??

If someone said they had been having RS lessons for a year and wanted a horse to hack out on and be kept at home or on DIY livery I would be very wary of selling anything other than a total saint to them, and yes it may be backward thinking.

If on the other had you said you had ponies when younger and had come back to riding last year and were doing the sort of things you wanted a horse/had a partloan etc for I would think you much more likely to be capable and therefore able to try more horses.
 
Thanks for your replies, my budget is £3,000 I will pay a bit more if it is *the one* :inlove:
Maybe I am approaching it wrong & underselling myself, but I do not want to take on too much so I have been erring on the side of caution which meant I came up with who I tried yesterday.
He is a lovely horse & I would have had him if I could have got him moving a bit, but honestly he was so lazy, the RS horses I ride on my lessons are a bit lazy but he was at a whole new level. He stopped at the gate every time around the school, point blank stopped :help: He has been used for total novices & RDA so totally trustworthy though :angel:
They did say he needed to come out of the school because he was bored, he was also overweight, & they said he was dead to the leg. I was considering if he came out of the school & had a change of environment/ lifestyle he would perk up a bit. But he was £2,750 so not cheap in my eyes as excluding any wardrobe, so then I thought no I need to find someone else more forward but am torn between thinking that his level is where I need to be or I need someone more forward.
 
Just to add, this is the type of ad that I think I should be looking at, is that right or am I reading it wrong :help:

Super safe pc allrounder
Beautiful 7yr old bay mare. 15.1, good to box shoe clip
Very willing just point and go!
Easy to do in every way very genuine
Great in open spaces
Straight forward careful jump
Perfect for pc/hunting
Snaffle mouthed
5 star home only
Open to vetting
 
What you are looking for is what everyone wants and no one sells once they have found them!! The good versions of this will not come cheaply..what is your budget?QUOTE]


This exactly!! This is what I have in Bob, I was incredibly lucky to find him and there is now way he would be for sale (touch wood, unless any unforseen financial difficulties hit), but if he was, he would be for more than your budget.

They are out there but these genuine types I found went incredibly quickly, so I found myself checking websites every day. I found Bob on Horsequest, definitely worth adding to your list if you don't already look here.
 
I too have been keeping an eye on the ads.
I too have been turned down as a purchaser. But more often it is I who have realised during the phone conversation that the horse isnt suitable or isnt as described. In this situation it is commercially and personally more advantageous for the dealer if they are the one doing the rejection?

On the matter of a slow riding school horse or pony - that is another matter. I am on the lowest rank of NR member being an eternal rider of RS ponies.
That too is a bit of a project - as an adult rider, well versed in NH, to be riding a pony that has had a boring time teaching kids and now needs and deserves some more adult outings. It isnt instant but after 4 rides you may well have a gem - light off the leg and completely obliging.
My first job riding my favourite was always to tell her it was me - so she didnt behave like a plod. So the slowest and supposedly reluctant pony was my wonderful liberating horse of my dreams.
If your RI says they have found the perfect pony for you but you feel is too slow, my first question would be about the shape and build of the horse. Do you sit comfy on it and is it the kind of horse you fancy buying?
If all that is wrong is the ploddiness, I would either ride it yourself and persuade it to respond to you (alternate 4 or 5 steps of walk and trot, back up, turn a few times -). Once the horse is listening to you, ask for some indirect transitions. Halt to walk and walk to canter. The RS horses I hack arent used to this, so I am sometimes challenged by my escort to do it as a sort of joke! But in a recent riding lesson, the RI asked me to trot from halt on a slow horse. And surprising the horses with these requests always brings a smile to my face.
If you havent learned how to teach things to a horse, ask an experienced rider to ride the slow horse so you can see its potential.
RS horses are often dual characters - safe slow mode - and charge across the country when given half a chance mode.
But you are getting back into riding so what you need potentially is something that has some elevation and can do dressage nicely. You need to think not only of how you ride now but of the future. It isnt a short term thing buying a horse.

eml is right that good horses change hands by way of mouth -so when horse hunting you need to tell everyone you know who rides that you are definitely looking. I am not definitely looking so I havent done that. I shall also short list a couple of dealers who may look for me.

My RI told me that I should go and try some horses and ride at least three possible horses before making any decision. But the way to try horses is to visit two or three reputable dealers who have something that fits your description. And after riding make sure you go back with a trainer or instructor to try the horse for you and give you advice. Dealers want to sell horses. No more being turned down!

When you see a horse advertised , google the phone number or e-mail provided. many dealers masquerade as private sellers. Watch out for emotional fictions to persuade you to buy - like sad sale. Similarly watch out for contradictions in the details given in the ad or the answers to your questions. If your questions on the phone become too enquiring, then you are likely to be rejected. You are rejected only because you have stumbled on some tax or insurance scam.

But dont take it personally when you are turned down - Private sellers have unrealistic ideas when it comes to re-homing their ancient favourites. just on the phone, I was turned down for a 16 year old gelding fit only to hack, and who needed to be rested every winter. I have been turned down by someone who wanted their horse to compete. I have been turned down for not jumping, though it wasnt clear that the horse had ever been jumped by any rider. I havent actually ever been turned down for a horse I seriously and really wanted to buy.

If you really seriously are ready to buy, why not tell people here where in the country you are and ask them to horse hunt for you. NR people love doing that.
 
LWTB had much the same issues and she found Tango, PM found Ben there are lots of poeple on here that have been through the buying process and come out the other end happy:

Yes I went through this!! It took me nearly a year to find my boy - and even after a vetting which he passed, I still ended up with a horse with bad legs/feet whose riding days could be over in the not too distant future :cry:

But some great advice here. Definitely Google the sellers telephone number. So many dealers pretend they are private sellers.

You need to be checking websites at least once a day, the good ones will be snapped up really fast.

And yes word of mouth is great, but you have to know the right people. I have not managed to find anything that way so far.
 
Keep looking, there is one out there. Its a little early in the year for traditional selling. I suspect more will be on the market in spring. You will have to pay for a good one unless someone is selling because of unforeseen circumstances and a good home is more important than price:smile:
 
my advice ....

- if it sounds too good to be true, it often is (a lot of ads just sound too 'perfect' - at the end of the day, it's just words by people wanting to sell something - nobody is going to put 'rubbish to load' or 'unsafe in traffic' in an ad I guess!)

- the longer the 'sobstory' the more likely it is to be B/S (only selling due to 'mother-in-laws-brother-having-an-accident-where-the-niece-ran-out-of-money-and-dog-got-sick ... no fault of his own' ....)

- there is no such thing as the 100% perfect horse - decide what you are willing to compromise on and what you won't be able to compromise on

- go local! word of mouth tends to be good and you wont get bamboozled by eg horsemart etc.
 
Just to add, this is the type of ad that I think I should be looking at, is that right or am I reading it wrong :help:

Super safe pc allrounder
Beautiful 7yr old bay mare. 15.1, good to box shoe clip
Very willing just point and go!
Easy to do in every way very genuine
Great in open spaces
Straight forward careful jump
Perfect for pc/hunting
Snaffle mouthed
5 star home only
Open to vetting

I suspect that is where you are going wrong..that is how I would advertise a competition pony/horse for a competent, experienced and active PC or RC member, not one I would sell to someone who told me they had only ridden for a year at an RS.

I think unless you really want and are ready for a competition horse you should be looking for something described more as an older schoolmaster safe to hack and take on pleasure rides...any horse can be schooled to improve as you improve, much safer than scaring yourself initially. For what it is worth I also would never recommend a horse much under 9 as a first horse unless you have constant support from a trainer.

We sold a similar one to the above, had been used lightly in our RS for career students but was too talented just to be a lesson horse, we also turned down several prospective purchasers who lacked experience and still sold her within a week She did go for well over your budget and was 12.
 
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We got a horse for OH who was a complete beginner at the time, for a bit less than your budget. He's a great horse, safe enough for a beginner, but forward going and ups his game for a more experienced rider.

Again though, we got him through word of mouth. He came from a dealer who when she got him rang the owner of the RI I used to go to to see if she wanted him. She didn't, but because she knew we were looking for something she rang me straight away so we got in early! Also, because the RI owner does a fair bit of business with the dealer we knew the dealer was fair.

We had looked at loads of adverts and tried out one other horse that just wasn't suitable before we found Jack. It is difficult I know.

I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for sooner or later, good luck.
 
I think the OP has ridden many years and owned a horse as a teenager?
I love the person who mailed me that I needed many more years of riding under my belt before they would consider me for any of their top horses. I will be 80 by then.
I think some people advertise very old horses they dont want to sell. Owners want to fail to sell them so they can have them put down with a clear conscious.
I think some sellers are sometimes drunk when they talk to you on the phone or mail you stuff?
The ad you quote sounds too good for your price level. If a horse is priced low to sell, it is likely to attract other buyers with whom you will be competing (hence the being turned down) but it would also attract dealers who think they can sell on at a profit?
I also dont like the language. It is 7 years old - is it a TB what sort of horse is it. How long has the present owner had it. Has it been ridden by their child and if so for how long or has it been trained by an adult ready to sell on as a child's horse. That reads like a dealer's add to me. Has been brought over from Ireland, hunted a few times, Done a few jumps in the school. Hasnt bucked or reared and that's it. Remember it was 6 years old until a month ago.
I thought like eml says that I wanted 8 or 9 years old minimum. But 16 is too old. My RI said she thought 6 would be OK. I have twice ridden 6 year olds so I suppose it depends on the horse.
 
The type of horse you want is out there you just have to be prepared to wait.

However I wouldn't rule out the horse your tried recently. Maybe go back and ask to hack him out? Even ask them to give him a couple of days off before you go to see him somyou can really see if he is dead slow or stop or if he is able to be perked up.

It is far far easier to stoke up a lazy horse than it is to slow down a fizzy one.

Scoop of oats or barley might be all he needs added to his feed to wake him up a tad. Equally getting the weight off him and giving him a new job, lots more variety, hacking etc.

If he does prove to have a bit more about him than previously I would ask for a months trial with him which should be more than enough time for him to start to open up a little bit with you, also I would offer them £2500 stating obviously you need to get tack, rugs etc.

I don't think you are likely to have seen him and his real personality he sounds very bored with RS life and there's a good chance feels more lethargic because he is overweight.

He sounds perfect for what you want minus the laziness which is IMO always sortable.
 
Yes the right horse is out there. Please don't be put of by the plod, my horse was quite a plod when I brought her least year, she was very over weight, nappy and unresponsive, but safe as safe, now 9 months on with a bit of effort shes a lot more forward,a lot lighter,a lot more responsive, no longer naps and is still as safe as they come, she is I'm guessing just what you would be looking to buy, but there is no way I would sell her. Good luck with your search, let us know where abouts you are and I'm sure well all keep our ears open for you.
 
Why not try for a share initially? This would enable you to get more experience outside of the training environment. A great way to start on your own, and there are people out there that do not want to sell, or loan but do need some financial help or maybe just some help with care etc. good luck and take your time
 
Why not try for a share initially? This would enable you to get more experience outside of the training environment. A great way to start on your own, and there are people out there that do not want to sell, or loan but do need some financial help or maybe just some help with care etc. good luck and take your time

^ Exactly what I was going to say.
 
OP your criteria for buying a first horse sounds much like mine - number one priority super-safe, but something I could learn on and grow with too. My budget was similar. Thought I'd found it with my mare but time will tell whether she's the perfect pony she seemed to be both times I rode her as right now she's a bag of nerves bless her. Just to say - something I didn't do that I now regret was ask to see the passport before you buy. I checked she had one, but didn't look at it, so didn't realise until after I'd bought her that the previous owner had pulled the wool over my eyes a little regarding how long she'd had her, as she told me 9 months but her passport says she was brought over from Ireland in Sept 2012. Not a major problem but when you know you've been lied to about one thing, it does make you a tad suspicious!
 
That is an excellent tip squidsin...

I am having to deal with the aftermath of a mother who bought what she thought was a 7 year old for her not very confident teenager...horse turns out to be 4 and bears little resemblance to the passport which was sent on to her on delivery, has no microchip and has a myriad of issues. No vetting or second opinion.
 
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Thanks everyone for your helpful comments :happy:

I have tried for some loans too, one I was told I wasn't suitable, I am waiting for another to get back to me & the others I have seen need to be kept at their yard so would involve travelling which is difficult because I work and have a daughter so would be struggling to fit everything in, whereas the yard I have lined up is 5 minutes down the road.

But I have phoned up about plod RS horse & if he is still available (there is another interested party) I will go & try him again on Wednesday. At least I know what to expect so will try a more firm approach. I think because he was a new horse to me I was being a little too conservative :sluggish: Also need to research how to deal with horses that are dead to the leg because I really hate using a stick.

In the meantime if anyone knows of a super safe, not too ploddy, all rounder over 15hh for £3kish please let me know, I am in Northants but willing to travel.
 
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