Anyone feel a bit jealous about their sharer?

tiga

tiga

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Oct 29, 2007
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Brighton, East Sussex
I don't have a 'proper' sharer in that she doesn't have a set day or pay anything towards Izzy. She just rides him when I am away for work - although I do give her one day a week, just ad hoc.

She is a vet nurse and much better rider than me. She jumps Izzy and has just had a lesson on Iz with my RI. Both my sharer and RI said how good the lesson was and what a brilliant boy he was and I was happy that he was good but also felt really jealous!:frown:

It makes me feel a bit like he's wasted on me because she rides him better even though with my sensible head on I know we have come a long way and are doing well. But she could be doing loads more with him.

Does anyone else feel a bit like this with sharers? Or I am just being a twit?
 
this is the exact reason i DON'T have a sharer! it would drive me insane seeing someone with my horse. I do think your feelings are perfectly natural. I loaned a pony and got very upset and jealous when his owner let her friends ride him on the odd occasion. made me realise i could never share my own horses.

remember, horses don't care about what they do or if they are fulfilling their potential. Izzy is happy with you so that's what will matter to him :D
 
You're being a twit ;) hehe everyone has to learn somewhere, she's probably just been riding more intensively/for longer than you but can't afford a horse so you'll probably find she is jealous of you in that respect!

Just think of it as a plus, it's good for Izzy that her sharer is experienced, you can feel worry free when she rides her if you had a complete novice you'd probably end up with her getting some bad habits/worrying if they were out alone etc.

x
 
Oh hell yeah! I don't have a sharer as such, I've got a friend who's helping me and ashamedly she's a much better rider than me. I let her ride him and just want to shrivel up and die when I see how well she can do things. But heh ho, I'm trying to use it to my advantage - she is helping Flip be a better horse so I can concentrate on improving my riding!
I don't think I could share him, I would worry about someone taking him out the field without me being there incase he tanked off - like I'm any better at controlling him?!!
At least they are being very positive about Izzy, that gives you something to work towards and it will be all the sweeter when you do achieve it since you can look back and marvel at how you've progressed.
I had someone helping me who really didn't like my horse and was often telling me that he wasn't very good. I didn't need that sort of approach so keep my distance now.
 
I'd actually prefer it if my sharer was a bit better than me, then I'd know that my horse is in good hands, and can STOP worrying ;)
But yes, I understand where the jealousy comes from:balanced:
 
I am glad that she is a better rider as I do know that he is in good hands. And I trust her with him. She is really nice and very considerate of me, ie not cantering him in the same place on hacks so he doesn't expect it with me on board.

I guess it is just that he is MINE and I want to do everything well with him.

The difficulty is balancing what is in your head to what is in your heart!

Plus in the winter when I am away in Australia she is going to be a god-send when I need him riding.
 
Only jealous that they are small enough to ride my pony! :giggle:

My sharer is fab and rides my pony so well, after all the not so great people who came to try my horses she is breath of fresh air! :biggrin:
 
I'm lucky enough to have a fantastic sharer toooooo:biggrin: She and my mare are a wonderful team and have a lovely relationship but I'm blessed that my mare still loves 'her mum' and seems to know us apart....:wink: I'm not sure what I'd do without her! I'm not jealous at all and no money is exchanged, she just rides when she wants to and keeps her fit (shes been doing her for over a year whilst I concentrate on my sons pony and looking after my poorly mum) I guess I'm extremely lucky as I trust her 110% and I'm very fussy! There are great people out there!:happy:
 
I'm the type of person who would suffer from the green eyed monster for sure. I would hate for anyone to ride my horses, let alone them ride them better than me :wink:
 
I have my first sharer starting next week and i am really looking forward to it.

Mostly because she is going to pay the expensive trainer to have a lesson each week, something that i cannot afford. So Ruby will be getting excellent training during the lessons and the sharer gets to enjoy the riding.

I;m not complaining!
 
I echo flipo with the comment HELL YEAH :bounce:

My sharer came up first day jumped on my green scatty nervy bolting mare and had her cantering in an outline and turning on the forehand. Ok now I can do it but at that stage I thought wow I didnt even know my horse could do that :banghead:. If anyone has read my previous I became a nervous rider having previously owned an ex racer who knocked every last bit of confidence out of me. So when I bought a green forward going sensitive nervy Welsh D I decided I needed a sharer with working long weeks I just didnt have the time. My horse loves me and has learnt mainly with the use of my voice but she puts me to shame when she rides her and now wants to do a dressage test which has always been my dream but she has got her ready for it so what can I say :frown: I feel like she now looks down on me like I know SWEET FA hmmmmmmm

But echoeing what everyone else has said if I didnt have my sharer I would be lost and plus she is a VET student bonus, bonus lol she has really helped my horse in leaps and bounds and when I ride I feel as if I am riding a different horse. She is realiable and trustworthy and maybe I do suffer from a bit of the green eyed monster when she can do things on my horse that I cant but at the end of day she is helping my horse. x
 
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I would be turning into a big green monster lol!! So i dont think your a twit :happy:

I wouldnt even consider it, im one of these REALLY over protective, 'Hes all mine' types :redface:

I refuse to go away on holiday for more than one night/two days because i cant stand the thought of anyone even looking after him for me, never mind riding him :redface:
 
Vicki100 said:
I refuse to go away on holiday for more than one night/two days because i cant stand the thought of anyone even looking after him for me, never mind riding him :redface:
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I totally know what you mean - I'm going on my honeymoon for a week and I'm absolutely dreading the thought of someone else looking after my babies
 
tiga said:
It makes me feel a bit like he's wasted on me because she rides him better even though with my sensible head on I know we have come a long way and are doing well. But she could be doing loads more with him.
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What you have to remember is horses aren't MEANT to be doing a certain discipline, we make them do it! Sure, some horses really enjoy jumping for example but at the end of the day we make them do these tasks and don't think by not doing what someone else is doing - you're wasting your horse.

It makes me laugh in sale ads were people say "currently wasted as rider not skilled enough" or "must go to competitive home" - a horse be it a plod or a top competition horse is a horse and is happy living out in a field all day long! They aren't destined to compete, - we make them for our own pleasure :D
I think you are lucky to have a good sharer for your horse giving her something different to try out and your horse will know you are there to care for him - that's the main thing! You shouldn't feel jealous about it at all, your horse will know where the food and love comes from and that's what's most important to them!
 
My sharer is my MUM!

She is miles better than me, but I basically don't ride anymore due to being ill and having alot going on at the moment, so I'm just glad that he does some ridden work a couple of times a week. It does slightly annoy me, because I suggested we buy a horse together, and she turned her nose up. So I bought one, and she was straight in there, like "oooo can I ride him?"

She doesn't do any chores, I am too anal to let her, she is a good rider but can't muck out for toffee, I'm sure she would if I asked.

She doesn't pay either, he is very green though and as I say I am grateful, else he would be doing nothing.

And she nags me constently, which I don't think you get with most sharers! :tongue:

I bet your horse loves you more than your sharer tiga, to me thats what important! :)
 
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I feel like that... but I know that in the future if I get pregnant, i'll need to get a sharer otherwise all my hardwork will go out the window and it's better to keep him ticking over.

If the person was really bad... bouncing on his back and pulling him in the mouth I wouldnt enjoy watching it - if they're really good and he looked amazing I'd love watching ...but yes, at the same time the pangs of jealousy would stab quite hard too!

However having been a sharer, I spent far more time with the horse than his owner - spent hours grooming and riding and used to fed him etc - I thought we bonded.

But as soon as his owner was turned up, he only had eyes for her, I could see him watching her all the time!
 
Glad to see that I'm not the only one who feels a bit of the green-eyed monster creeping up.

Don't get me wrong. I am really happy with her riding Izzy and am pleased that she is doing well with him. We are going to some parties together soon - I will do a couple of in hand classes, she will do a jumping class, or I do dressage test and she takes him clear round jumping.

She also takes him out cross country with some others from the yard and I go as ground crew.

So we get on well and it is definitely a positive having her as a sharer. But I am glad that Izzy knows I'm his mum. She rode him the other day and I was up at the school, then I left to get something. When I came back she said that he didn't concentrate while I was gone and was looking and listening for me. A bit naughty but I LIKED it!:biggrin::giggle:
 
Can see where you are coming from, hence me never sharing either of our two! lol, I had plenty of hints dropped and offers when we were on a yard, but I didn't allow it, simply because it would annoy the pants off me and leave me feeling inadequate! (Don't let that put you off tho!). Am sure your sharer is fine and don't be daft, your horse is not wasted on you! Look at it as an enriching experience for your horse, the more he learns the better he will behave for you etc etc.
 
lisa_h said:
What you have to remember is horses aren't MEANT to be doing a certain discipline, we make them do it! Sure, some horses really enjoy jumping for example but at the end of the day we make them do these tasks and don't think by not doing what someone else is doing - you're wasting your horse.

It makes me laugh in sale ads were people say "currently wasted as rider not skilled enough" or "must go to competitive home" - a horse be it a plod or a top competition horse is a horse and is happy living out in a field all day long! They aren't destined to compete, - we make them for our own pleasure :D
I think you are lucky to have a good sharer for your horse giving her something different to try out and your horse will know you are there to care for him - that's the main thing! You shouldn't feel jealous about it at all, your horse will know where the food and love comes from and that's what's most important to them!
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Well said, a vet said this to my friend when she had him out vaccinating her home bred foal who was out of tb connemara mare to a very well bred tb and she felt he was wasted with her and had potential but this isn't true. The horse doesnt know what his potential is. be it a field ornament or a competition horse.
 
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