Anyone Else Not Sure that the Horse they Have is Right for Them?

sjp1

sjp1

Well-Known Member
Sep 14, 2009
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Have posted in my diary, so can't really be bothered to re-post.

Has anyone else decided the horse that they have is really far too high a maintenance attitude wise and passed them on, and found a happy home for that horse and a less high maintenance horse?
 
Not quite the same but as you know I just recently rehomed malaika.we didn't have the things going on that you do but she was too forward going for me and a true welsh character which I always loved up until injuring my knee now all I need is quiet.malaika hadn't changed though,I had and worked hard to try and fix things but made the hard decision to rehome her.I feel happy with the outcome malaika is in a lovely home I just had an update from the girl and they have been galloping through stubble fields which is what her and I used to do she loves work and thrives off it so I feel I made the right decision for her and me no matter how hard it was. Neala however is the total opposite,when my knee gave way in me with malaika she would worry,jump and get strong on the ground as I had frightened her,now I fell over in the field two days ago leading Neala,flat on my back and tears streaming down my face as my knee hurt that much,she just stood lowered het head to my face and just stood until I got myself up and then plodded happily on with me so I do think sometimes a change is needed and for the best bit only you know truely if this is something you feel you want to explore xxx
 
I can't remember - who did you rehome her through - or was it a private ad?x
 
I don't know really. I love my horse but I still don't know whether the issues we have are surmountable, if she'd be better in another home, etc. Kind of in limbo with it right now. I don't think there are any hard and fast answers to this one.
 
I rehomed her through horses4homes a permanent rehome but in contract that if for any reason she can no longer keep her I have first refusal back at no charge or she has to be rehomed again through horses4homes they are very good and I can go and see her if a want to and keep in touch as much or as little as I want the girl is lovely.doing it this way means she can't be sold on and passed from pillar to post she had been done a lot before I got her over 3 years ago xx
 
Not exactly but I did sell one this year because I didn't feel I could spend the time she needed.

I am one of those that buys and keeps and works through things in general, but I think if you have a horse that is 'not right for you' for whatever reason, its ok to move it on as long as you find 'the right person' for it.

My pony is very quirky, everyone says how good and well behaved she is. She is actually very challenging and I don't feel I could ever sell her on, so I haven't.

I have just worked through things which has been most enjoyable really.

At the end of the day I love her and have a bond. Too me the 'bond' is the important thing, if you have it, the world can be your oyster, if you don't....move on:smile:
 
Hmm - shall try the Forageplus route first.

If what they suggest doesn't work, then I guess your route is the best way forward. Both horse and owner have to be compatible, both personality and work wise. I have to work full time, and he has to meet me half way - I don't ask for massive amounts, but he is getting to the point where he is not enjoyable and I really can't afford to pay anyone else to ride him out for me in the winter - he isn't on massive amounts of grazing or feed, so really, it shouldn't be necessary to have to work him into the ground - should it!!!

This is going to be my last stop. I have done my absolute best with him, but what with the newest refusing to load for one and a half hours after a fun ride because he wanted to graze, and the bucking the weekend before last all the way over to another arena and back again, the being a pain to get in, I have just about had enough.
 
Tina2011 said:
Not exactly but I did sell one this year because I didn't feel I could spend the time she needed.

I am one of those that buys and keeps and works through things in general, but I think if you have a horse that is 'not right for you' for whatever reason, its ok to move it on as long as you find 'the right person' for it.

My pony is very quirky, everyone says how good and well behaved she is. She is actually very challenging and I don't feel I could ever sell her on, so I haven't.

I have just worked through things which has been most enjoyable really.

At the end of the day I love her and have a bond. Too me the 'bond' is the important thing, if you have it, the world can be your oyster, if you don't....move on:smile:
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In Toby world, he does love me. He whinnies for me and no-one else, he is not the most lovable of characters because his pushy and bolshy, and I have loved him in spite of this. But he is 9 now. He isn't a baby anymore, and he is silly over silly things.

I have decided to have both his forage and grass tested. I shall spend yet more money after the £100 odd quid to have this done for them to decide what feed he needs and what minerals he needs - another £72 .

If that doesn't sort the problem, then I will have no option.

I do love my stubborn, quirky appaloosa, however, everyone has to give a little, and it shouldn't just have to be me. Who knows, he may be happier in a home where he is worked constantly - sadly, not something I can do with a full time job!
 
You need to do what feels right for you and tobes it is a very difficult decision and one I have full sympathy for,hugs and if you ever need to talk or vent feel free to pm or we are all happy to listen and help on here xx
 
I sort of agree with Mysticmaliaka, I think she really did the right thing with hers.

It just really depends on your circumstances. If I ever though I was struggling and I thought the horse would do better with someone else I would go that way.
 
Hugs Sip, horses are so challenging in more ways than one. Take a deep breath, we will be behind you whatever way you go x.

I am going bonkers quite often lately if its any help, which I doubt lol, juggle, juggle toil and trouble. It will all come right, take a deep breath, write down some pro's and con's and find out what is most important....TO YOU x
 
I could never decide in the early days whether Storm was too much for me or if any horse would be too hot for me! Looking back it was a combo. She still has her moments but my riding priorities have changed in 10 years, so we work well together. Plus I am deeply attached to her on a "friend" level now, so even if I did think she was too much / unsuitable riding wise, I would still be happy to keep her.
I can understand other people tho - end of the day we do this whole horse keeping lark for fun and happiness. If that changes and you feel your needs have changed then you have to go along a different route. Haven't read your diary entry so must have a look!
 
Thank you, both of you.

I am not sure what to do, and feel that I am failing in some way if I say, enough, on you go. I feel that is unfair because he is insecure in a lot of ways which causes bad behaviour, but so does not enough work, and I just feel I am failing him which doesn't make life easier!!!

Shall have the Forageplus analysis done. If there is nothing massively lacking, over contributing, then I think I shall have to make the very tough decision.

Horses are an expensive hobby and I always say to people that if they don't meet you half way, then they have to go on. But it is a very hard decision!!
 
I have been exactly where you are now. I bought a very handsome young cob (JJ) who would have been perfect for me in my 40/50s......I disregarded the niggling thought that in my 60s he just might not be quite such a good match for me.:redface:

It took me two years to finally admit I had over horsed myself (for feffs sake - a 5 year old traddy cob was too much for me! Oh the humiliation!:redcarded:)

Long story short, he now resides in Scotland with a younger, fitter owner who is far more able for him than I was. Much heartbreak letting him go......but 3 years on I am soooooo glad I made the decision, once again I am actually enjoying my hobby, rather than dreading yet another arm wrestling match with my young cobby wob! I loved him to bits, but he wasn't right for me, nor would he ever be sadly. Not his fault, not mine, we just didn't match. But my Dolly?? Well! Perfection as it happens.:giggle:
 
I almost rehomed Moët 4 years ago, I was terrified of her, didn't trust her at all, my confidence was so low....instead of re homing her I moved yards, was the best thing I've ever done, the horses were happier and I had more support around me for my confidence. I would never have thought I would ever trust Moët enough to ride her whilst pregnant, let alone until 8.5 months pregnant!

But, I strongly believe that the right match is really important, so if you decide you are not right for each other then do rehome
 
Cortrasna said:
I have been exactly where you are now. I bought a very handsome young cob (JJ) who would have been perfect for me in my 40/50s......I disregarded the niggling thought that in my 60s he just might not be quite such a good match for me.:redface:

It took me two years to finally admit I had over horsed myself (for feffs sake - a 5 year old traddy cob was too much for me! Oh the humiliation!:redcarded:)

Long story short, he now resides in Scotland with a younger, fitter owner who is far more able for him than I was. Much heartbreak letting him go......but 3 years on I am soooooo glad I made the decision, once again I am actually enjoying my hobby, rather than dreading yet another arm wrestling match with my young cobby wob! I loved him to bits, but he wasn't right for me, nor would he ever be sadly. Not his fault, not mine, we just didn't match. But my Dolly?? Well! Perfection as it happens.:giggle:
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But I am only in my 40's Mrs C AND I have owned him for 4 years!!!

But yes, somewhere along the line, he is too stubborn, too unpredictable for me. I never know (unless it is the summer and he is more placid) what any day may bring and to be frank, OH text me at half eleven on Sunday to say that two sets of farming friends had invited us out to lunch. I was supposed to be riding Sunday afternoon, but he has been unpredictable for some weeks now, and actually I didn't really want to ride him at all.

So, maybe as OH (who was a hunting man) says, he is a mans horse and he needs to be 'got under' because clearly my way is not working veryw ell!!!
 
JJ was a mans horse before I bought him, and had hunted and done all sorts of exhausting stuff.....quietly hacking around the lanes with me just didn't cut it for him, not enough activity to keep him sane at all.

In my 40s I had a lovely ride and drive mare that had been with me for years, and of course Solomon, who was a very strong and opinionated young man, but mellowed hugely with age. Age actually doesn't matter does it? If the horse isn't giving you pleasure then that is it IMO? Especially if part of the reason for working is to support your hobby, then you must at least enjoy that hobby?:smile:
 
Cortrasna said:
JJ was a mans horse before I bought him, and had hunted and done all sorts of exhausting stuff.....quietly hacking around the lanes with me just didn't cut it for him, not enough activity to keep him sane at all.

In my 40s I had a lovely ride and drive mare that had been with me for years, and of course Solomon, who was a very strong and opinionated young man, but mellowed hugely with age. Age actually doesn't matter does it? If the horse isn't giving you pleasure then that is it IMO? Especially if part of the reason for working is to support your hobby, then you must at least enjoy that hobby?:smile:
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Tis true!!!

I guess as always it is horses for courses and maybe because of my lack of time I can't provide the entertainment he requires.

He loved cubbing, but I just cannot provide the level of fitness he requires to hunt, or the time ...........
 
sjp1 said:
...feel that I am failing in some way if I say, enough, on you go!
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I don't see it that way, sjp1.

We all know how hard you have worked and how long you have tried to come to an understanding with Tobes. As you say, he has to meet you half way. You can't be a full time horsewoman, and if that is what he needs I don't think it's failing him in any way to find a home where he can get the full time work and attention he would thrive on.

You would take great care over his rehoming and be sure that his new owner was right for him. (S)he would be thrilled with him. Where's the failure?
 
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