Anti-Horse Mothers...:(

[Kathryn128]

Ohhhh dear. (Long, chocolate for whoever gets to the end )

My mum and I just had a huge row over Merlyn

She wants me to give him up for a few months (at least till March) to concentrate on my schoolwork and my extracurriculars.

She says I'm too busy, that Merlyn's draining, and he's making this consistent chest infection I have (8 weeks and counting) worse and worse. I, personally, though I know I'm biased, think it's just coincidence that on more than one occasion, the day after I've been up the yard I'm seized with wheezing and crippling chest pains Even now, every breath hurts and I can't walk up the stairs without having to sit down

Still, now she's making me have doubts about this. All in all, it's about 6-7 hours a week I'm up there with Merlyn. I love him to pieces, despite the fact that it's been an eventful three months. He's by no means an easy ride, I have problems with him trying to dominate me, he's spooked and p*ssed off with me out hacking (been too scared to try again, she said she'd give me draw reins ). He's not jumpable yet due to a wonky back (at least with jumping, I'd know what to work on, I'm becoming disillusioned to school because I don't know what we're doing it for ) At 15 years old, faced with cavaletti, he still trots weirdly over the first two and tries to jump the rest It's like riding a youngster. His outline (with me) isn't established, but I'm doing everything his owner has taught me to (she's a BHSAI as well).

I don't know if it's my mum's words talking, but I'm just not sure we're having fun any more. It's also hard to enjoy myself knowing that my mum wishes I was at home doing Chemistry every second I'm there with Merlyn

She also doesn't like that his owner just isn't giving us much support (she's promised to organise lessons, to bring me books and videos of Merlyn competing, to turn up and give me lessons herself, to get me jumping, and NONE of this has happened). But I know that I'm there because of her own lack of time. Thing is, she was supposed to be in China by now, but apparently isn't going anywhere now. I haven't seen her in weeks. She has no idea what I'm doing with her horse. Not that I'm hurting him in any way, but I'd have thought she'd want to be more involved, I mean, she's had him for over 10 years, they were at b***dy boarding school together!

God, I'm sorry for the essay guys, I'm just upset and wheezy

Help?

 

[monsoon1983]

its not a good idea to push yourself when your ill, maybe you could get someone it look after him for a week, your health have to come first, how can you look after him and enjoy him if your so ill!

Your mums just worring about you - its her job after all!

 

[puzzles]

Where's my chocolate!

Don't worry about the essay - I understand how you are feeling as the first thing my mum let me know when she finally accepted that I value horses over food, is that she will never ever buy me a horse.
Other than that she is generally pretty supportive, and since I know we have limited finances (and time during my A-levels) I think i can cope without one for now ... :-/ non-horsey mums just don't understand (my mum is scared of them and doesn't understand how or why i can come away from a lesson having been thrown off and bolted with, covered in muck, yet still glowing with happiness).

Stay sensible and realistic - don't lose hope or give your mum more reason to give up on your horses.

How about considering loaning/sharing/working for rides? Try to appreciate what you do have; some fantastic memories and all the things you have achieved together. I truly believe that something positive comes out of everything, so look at the good things: You will have more time to work, you have had some amazing memories of your horses, and there is always the future!

(((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

xxxxx

 

[Black Beastie]

Winter always has this effect on peeps and mums too lol!!!

I got a bad chest infection and to agree being at the horse with all the dust and hair etc it didnt help. You are maybe just holding on to your mums words because you value her opinion, I know I do!!!

Kia still behaves weird and he is 15, certainly with schooling and jumps as I havent been as consistent due to his injury so it is like having a baby.

Just treat him like one if you know what I mean and then it should help you understand what to do and when.

Dont leave him tho as you will feel worse. I know I would!!

Chin up and I hope that your over you infection soon!!! They are very draining!!!

Nikki xxx

 

[Kathryn128]

Where's my chocolate!

Don't worry about the essay - I understand how you are feeling as the first thing my mum let me know when she finally accepted that I value horses over food, is that she will never ever buy me a horse.
Other than that she is generally pretty supportive, and since I know we have limited finances (and time during my A-levels) I think i can cope without one for now ... :-/ non-horsey mums just don't understand (my mum is scared of them and doesn't understand how or why i can come away from a lesson having been thrown off and bolted with, covered in muck, yet still glowing with happiness).

Stay sensible and realistic - don't lose hope or give your mum more reason to give up on your horses.

How about considering loaning/sharing/working for rides? Try to appreciate what you do have; some fantastic memories and all the things you have achieved together. I truly believe that something positive comes out of everything, so look at the good things: You will have more time to work, you have had some amazing memories of your horses, and there is always the future!

(((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

xxxxx

Thanks, that's really lovely

Merlyn is my share, my ponio 3 days pw Couldn't have my own horse without sacrificing too much, I know how selfish that sounds.

It's not even just my A Levels (5), it's countless extracurriculars as well (think Young Enterprise, Model United Nations, teaching disabled kids to swim, going out with friends, family obligations, county level basketball, piano and when I can, dance [I used to dance pointe in ballet, gave it all up for Merlyn])

Blegh, I wish I didn't do so much, but it's all for good reasons, but I know she's right, something has to give.

Sorry Puzzles, I've just eaten your choccie in my fit of misery, consider this an IOU

Winter always has this effect on peeps and mums too lol!!!

I got a bad chest infection and to agree being at the horse with all the dust and hair etc it didnt help. You are maybe just holding on to your mums words because you value her opinion, I know I do!!!

Kia still behaves weird and he is 15, certainly with schooling and jumps as I havent been as consistent due to his injury so it is like having a baby.

Just treat him like one if you know what I mean and then it should help you understand what to do and when.

Dont leave him tho as you will feel worse. I know I would!!

Chin up and I hope that your over you infection soon!!! They are very draining!!!

Nikki xxx

Yep, you're right, her opinion does mean the world to me, there's just been too many times where she's told me something, but I've done it my way and paid the price for it later No better way to learn, IMO

Can't be leaving him, as he is the only thing I do because I want to, not because I have to to please someone else. I may cut it down to 2 days pw in January when I have AS module exams though.

Thank you, Nik, that's really helped

 

[chickflick1066]

Crikey mate. You are a busy bee!

Young Enterprise was the utter bain of my life in Y12

 

[suzanne7575]

you sound as though you have a pretty hectic schedule, but you say Merlyn is the only thing you do that you actually want to do, in which case can you not give up some of the other things you do that you are only doing to please others. I have been in the situation of doing something because it's what parents want and it just ends up you resenting the person making you do it (ie. parents)

I would agree with your mum in that you do need to some time to get that chest better, you are obviously run down and it is not going to get better unless you look after yourself

 

[puzzles]

Ugh ... i never see one of my best friends any more because of YE. The stress has many of my other friends in tears, with no or little time for anything else. Sorry, O/T.

:-(

xx

 

[Kathryn128]

Crikey mate. You are a busy bee!

Young Enterprise was the utter bain of my life in Y12

Ugh ... i never see one of my best friends any more because of YE. The stress has many of my other friends in tears, with no or little time for anything else. Sorry, O/T.

:-(

xx

God, don't I know it already

Honestly, we're doing eco-friendly hessian bags, and bejewelled USB sticks/flash drives, and we're planning on bribing Year 7s with pizza and chips That's our marketing technique, right there.

And as Operations Director, and considering our group has about 12 people, not like I can just up and leave.

suzanne7575: Tbh, the schedule thing is something that goes back an awful long way, and is a bit of a sensitive issue in my family. I've lived this way since I was 6 years old Not sure I know how to do any different. Can PM if you want details.

 

[EmsnMaisie]

YOUNG ENTERPRISE! Now theres an interesting memory. We won south east essex company of the year (Yes sorry that was a brag) It was SOOO boring though.

Have you been to your GP about the wheezy chest? Its not probably being cause my Merlyn, more by the being outside in cold dusty air when you are with him. Chest infections can take a long time to clear up especially if you come down with one in winter.

A levels are a strain, is there any chance of you hinting or politely reminding Merlyns owner of what she promised?
If he is keeping you sane though, explain this to your mum, after all keeping you sane and able to do other work and extra curricular stuff will be important as well.

 

[Kathryn128]

Have you been to your GP about the wheezy chest? Its not probably being cause my Merlyn, more by the being outside in cold dusty air when you are with him. Chest infections can take a long time to clear up especially if you come down with one in winter.

Haha, I've been to my GP, and after what happened I wouldn't trust him with a pen of mine

He told me that "viruses are having a field day with my body" because I've got a weak immune system (he reckons I might be low in white blood cells, blood test on Monday), after getting me to describe each and every symptom and when they changed.

He had a point there, I was sneezing all the other day, and two days later, that's disappeared, only to be replaced by being revoltingly phlegmy . Has been happening this entire two months, non-stop. I'm just being invaded by virus after virus after virus

He prescribed me a pump as I told him I had a horse and played basketball for London. Four hours later, I was rushed to hospital in an ambulance because the pump gave me an asthma attack I'm not asthmatic, btw.

 

[chickflick1066]

Could you really bring yourself to give Merlz up?

Isn't he a form of 'escape' from all your other demands?

 

[mogadoga]

Well i cant say get rid, as i cant get rid of alex, but slow down and be careful. Ive been in and out of hosp for my chest and now my backs gone again...as hard as it is ive had to ask for help grr. But taking time out does help! Even if its just a week or something?

Take care!!

 

[EmsnMaisie]

Sounds to me like you just need some serious heavy weight anti biotics to fight the infection on your chest. Which is where the irritation would be if your sneezing, phlegming, coughing, wheezing. Your GP sounds like a witch doctor.

 

[Afellpony]

Poor you. You're having a bumpy ride at the moment - but it does get better.
Sending you our bestest wishes!!!!!!!!!!

************from Elizabeth & Falcon************

 

[Kathryn128]

Could you really bring yourself to give Merlz up?

Isn't he a form of 'escape' from all your other demands?

Exactly that. Which is why it ain't happening

Sounds to me like you just need some serious heavy weight anti biotics to fight the infection on your chest. Which is where the irritation would be if your sneezing, phlegming, coughing, wheezing. Your GP sounds like a witch doctor.

Nope, he's a regular certified NHS GP He's a freak. We're working on invoking the private insurance to see a respiratory specialist, at least for an X-ray. It's getting stupid now, you can hear the goo rattling in my lungs Had a friend ask me if I had a furry animal living in there

 

[kat1]

You sound like me except Iam older (in time consuming education as a teacher - not a pupil!) I am 31, married, 2 kids and still nagged at for having wrong priorities by my parents. I think they want me to be a head teacher! My answer is that I would never have time for horses then - does not go down well!

I have had a chest infection for weeks with antibiotics, steroids and you name it ive had it! I have got asthma though but this thing will not clear up and my mum keeps saying that I am all run down with having horses. It is not true, withjout them, I would be horrendous for my hubby and kids to live with as my horses de stress me and I have used this excuse ever since being at school and having the pony v GCSEs issue and then the horse v A levels issue and then the horse v degree issue and now the horse (and 2 ponies) v lack of career aspirations issue for any one elses liking. I am happy just teaching PE and coming home. I do not want any more stress than that!

A levels are not easy and never will be but it does get better and if it is any consolation, I found I had more horsey time when I was at uni than doing A levels as I lived at home and lectures were more spread out.

 

[kat1]

You sound like me except Iam older (in time consuming education as a teacher - not a pupil!) I am 31, married, 2 kids and still nagged at for having wrong priorities by my parents. I think they want me to be a head teacher! My answer is that I would never have time for horses then - does not go down well!

I have had a chest infection for weeks with antibiotics, steroids and you name it ive had it! I have got asthma though but this thing will not clear up and my mum keeps saying that I am all run down with having horses. It is not true, withjout them, I would be horrendous for my hubby and kids to live with as my horses de stress me and I have used this excuse ever since being at school and having the pony v GCSEs issue and then the horse v A levels issue and then the horse v degree issue and now the horse (and 2 ponies) v lack of career aspirations issue for any one elses liking. I am happy just teaching PE and coming home. I do not want any more stress than that!

A levels are not easy and never will be but it does get better and if it is any consolation, I found I had more horsey time when I was at uni than doing A levels as I lived at home and lectures were more spread out.

 

[avaadora]

Not trying to be gross but... If you're all phlegmy and the phlegm is green/yellow then it's bacterial and anti-biotics are needed. I don't like taking antibiotics but if needs be then I will- if you get prescribed them remember to finish the course so the bugs don't get resistant and you still have the infection! If your doctor is being a bit of a pain about treating you the way you want then just ask to see a different doctor (if you're at a group medical practice) or if they have an open access surgery then drop in and see a different doctor. Don't worry they won't be annoyed, the whole point is that you should have a say in your treatment (I know a lot about NHS and doctors due to having two doctor parents).

Frankly you're doing very well and are truly committed to horses if you're in that bad a state and still persevering. You're doing yourself some good by getting some exercise and fresh air and resisting the urge to curl up in bed for a month! Remember to relax a bit though.

My dad is totally anti-animals too. All through school I was desperate for a dog, a cat, a horse, a ferret... anything really! It can be annoying but just keep showing your committment and soldier on is the best advice I can give you.

Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Cupcake]

Yay! Thought I was the only one with a non-horsey family. Don't you hate it when they think they know everything about horses, just from watching a western movies once?

This winter I gave Skye 2 months off in order to have some time for other things. Mum was over the moon, I was completely miserable.

Do you think you could cope not riding and caring for him? If yes then maybe giving him up for a while is best.