Another big event for me - my first proper hack!!!

Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins

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Oct 10, 2004
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Yesterday I attempted to hack and went into total meltdown on a couple of occassions. I got upset over some really stupid things and the girl I went with must think that I am a complete idiot.

On the way home we met my RI and I explained what a disaster it had been. He was out hacking as well and the result was that the 4 of us set off on our own mini hack and went round all the places where I had a 'moment' (there were many!). I was in tears the whole time through sheer frustration with myself.

I went back to the yard in tears and have agreed with my RI that I just need to get the demons out of my head and do it. So, today at 8am I going on my first proper hack (where we actually go somewhere rather than just round a field or a little loop). I'm going with another RI who is exercising his own horse so I will have 'the voice' if I need it. The plan is that I am going to do at least one proper hack a week and stop messing around.

My RI said that Ben is going to learn that if he does something little (like call to his friends or put his head in the air) then this is going to mean that he gets out of work. I really don't want to ruin him and I want to be able to hack him. He has never, ever done anything to scare me (apart from perhaps a little dance on the spot yesterday but you can hardly call that an event).

I will let you know how this tough love approach goes!!! After trying to go step by step for 3 months and getting no-where I need to make a change. I have been up all night and had several glasses of wine last night so perhaps I just won't care anyway.
 
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Yep - I'm back and it was a total success!! I have no idea why I was so nervous yesterday - it seems so ridiculous now. The horse I went with is much faster than Ben so we had to keep up. This resulted in a lovely, forward going walk where I could feel him using himself properly. I relaxed my iron grip on my reins and managed to give him his head more. While he was a little looky at some things, I managed not to tense up and pull the reins when he looked which resulted in him just turning his head to look at things rather than me stopping him and turning it into an issue.

He was perfectly behaved and didn't spook at all. We went for about an hour and it was mostly tracks through the woods. We had to cross a very major road which I was worried about but Ben just did exactly as asked. Even when we were back on home turf and there were 2 horses galloping flat out in the 2 fields next to the track where we were walking, he didn't do anything. I went into panic mode then but he ignored me.

The plan is to go for proper hacks as often as possible now. Several people on the yard have offered to go with me and I have to get my head in the place where I go everytime that I am asked and not make any excuses.

I actually enjoyed myself and the best bit was Ben did as well. It was nice to see him so relaxed and walking forward. I have learnt alot about him this weekend and it's all good!
 
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Sometimes it`s more the thoughts that cause up the problems, rather than actually 'doing it'. We can build small things up to be immense issues, when in reality we just need to rationalize it ... i`m one of the worst for doing that lol :redface: .. ... I`m so glad things went well for you this morning, i bet you`re grinning like a cheshire cat now .... :biggrin:
 
daisysp8 said:
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Sometimes it`s more the thoughts that cause up the problems, rather than actually 'doing it'. We can build small things up to be immense issues, when in reality we just need to rationalize it ... i`m one of the worst for doing that lol :redface: .. ... I`m so glad things went well for you this morning, i bet you`re grinning like a cheshire cat now .... :biggrin:
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My issues are all in my head - that is what is so frustrating. When I first got to the yard one livery told me that all the horses bolt off coming in and out of the woods and this has played in my mind ever since. One of my mental blocks yesterday was walking in and out. In reality, none of the hores ever bolt there. The livery who told me just likes to gallop everywhere but as she had planted the seed, the issue grew in my head into something that just didn't exist.

I feel emotionally worn out at the moment. So much worrying, crying, and pushing myself to my very limits has taken it's toll. I am chilling out with my kids and trying not to think about horses for the afternoon!
 
:dance: well done MP, sounds fabby esp that people on your yard are wanting to help :biggrin: as I'm also using my lovely yard mates to, in their words bully me, into riding more it def helps. On days I refuse they good humouredly boo at me until I either laugh and get tacked up tell them I really don't want to and they stop :smile:
 
The more you do it, the better it'll get. Well done for today mrs, just concentrate on the fact that the pre ride nerves will lessen. I used to spend the whole day worrying about a ride in the evening, that then shrunk right down to the half hour beforehand. Once you're out there doing it, you just get on with it. Keep at it.
 
Well done! As the others have said the more you do it the more confident you will become. It sounds like you have brilliant support around you and it won't be long until you are a 'happy hacker' :)
 
Fantastic. well done you. I think that the key is that you actually enjoyed it :biggrin:
 
Thanks everyone. I did enjoy it and I'm really glad I did it. I just wish I didn't feel like such an idiot. No-one else on my yard ever cries or makes such a fuss about doing such simple things. I worry that they look at me and think that I am too crap to have a horse in the first place. I never used to care about what other people thought, but now I really do. I feel like the yard idiot and just want my confidence issues to dissapear so I can be like them.
 
Well done you! It is always good when you have screwed up the courage to do something you are nervous of, and not only do it but enjoy it too!! That, to me , takes nerve - after all, if you are not bothered about something, then it's no big thing to do it. i often feel like the yard dunce! but I suppose truth is people are much more interested in the wart on the end of their own nose! (if you know what i mean!)
 
Well done you!!

After your successful dressage outing and your hacking you must be on :cloud9:

I'm so pleased to read this!!!
 
What a resounding success, you must be on a real high still. The hacking heebie jeebies are a real pain in the butt so reading about other peoples successes like yours is very motivating.
 
maybe think of it this way - life is going to be very boring for Ben if all you do is school work so you need to do it for him. to give him variety, let him chill and have a bit more fun. So try to think of it as a positive way to give your horse enjoyment and pleasure, going new places, and if you can get out there for 2-3 hours you get him nice and tired.

Molly used to be a very spooky hack eyes on stalks, feet everywhere, but if she was very very lively, i used to head her to the steepest hill and by the time she got to the top brain was in gear - well as much as it ever was with her. You may actually find he is easier if you trailer him to a strange place so that he doesn't know what he is going to be doing.

And also never canter or trot always in the same places, so he doesn't expect a certain speed on a certain track. Make a point of walking or schooling on a place that most people canter. I used to ride an old lad who was a wonderful ride except he could be awfully strong if he cantered in a field - you did more and more circuits even faster and there was no point in turning him into the fence/hedge to stop him as the bugger would jump it....but if you cantered him where he didn't normally do it and walked him where he anticipated he was fine.
 
Just ignore them, you are doing brilliantly! I also suspect that much of your worry about what others think may be in your head. I used to think the same thing and then talking to a couple of liveries one day, after a few glasses of wine, it turns out both have irrational fears and quite big confidence problems. I think there are few riders who have no hang ups or worries and you would be surprised how many more people think like us.

I agree with repetition, I too decided at Christmas that enough was enough and I had to just get on with it. The first few weeks were like some kind of torture but every time I came back, with no problems, Bob looking after me so well and actually having quite a nice time ??!! I felt a little bit better. We've been fortunate enough to get lots of riding in since then with the weather being so good and now I can't quite believe it but we are hacking on our own and cantering! I've even had a couple of canters with other horses - I was always convinced this would make Bob race and bolt off.

Inevitably how I cracked this was that one day I just decided to get on with it because I was fed up of it....it sounds like that is the stage you are at? What I did do was carefully plan before each ride where I was going to go. Where I would trot. Also what I would do if I got into trouble.... basically get off! Canter came alot later but having this plan in my head and agreeing in advance that yes I could do that and it was within my comfort zone was the key for me. I remember one day, having good hack and feeling really good, thinking what would happen if I went up different track we hadn't been on before? I was terrified but something made me do it, I sang to Bob the whole way and tried to relax. The track met up with the one I had been on only 5 mins later and it was completely fine, Bob was an angel. Now I wouldn't think twice about going up there, or down. I'm not cured by any means, there are places I still wouldn't go, but little by little I am expanding my range away from the yard!

Just keep at it, you will get there, and remember always have an escape route if you feel too nervous on board. If Ben had gone crazy at the horses galloping in the field (he must be an angel not to have by the way :)) you could just dismount and lead him the rest of the way. You would not have been defeated but would have saved a potentially scary and dangerous situation and both of you would have come out of it feeling better.

Good luck and keep going xxx
 
Well done!!!
I do sometimes wonder if a lot of us on here struggle with hacking, because we are not teenagers anymore and older and more sensible and worry about the what-if's because maybe we've had a break from riding? Or maybe we just weren't "brought up" with hacking? As a child I remember watching the RS horses pass by often with envy and longing, they did practically nothing but hack back then, I often wonder if I'd been able to afford lessons and join them, maybe I wouldn't be such a wuss today?! I think the fact that riding schools today always offer lessons in a proper school make us just come to expect that - and the thoughts of going outside the arena can fill us with dread.
When I was lucky enough to have a lesson, all I wanted to do was hack - I remember finding time in the sand school a bit boring! (It was tiny and I found it not at all exciting!lol). Mmmm.
 
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