An exciting weekend...

eventerbabe

eventerbabe

Well-Known Member
Dec 16, 2004
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With a disappointing twist :( We will be taking ownership of the dream house in less than 2 weeks. OH and I both adore dogs and after considering a pedigree puppy, we took a trip to our local SSPCA shelter. And we found our perfect canine partner. She's a 2 year old Siberian husky cross only at the shelter as her owners marriage broke down and they can't keep her. And she's an amazingly kind, gentle soul. We met her last weekend then mulled it over for a week. This weekend we went to talk to the rehoming officer and to meet her properly. We've spent time with her in their education room, taken her out for over 5 hours of walks. We've met everything from lorries to dogs to horses to cyclists to children. She hasn't batted an eye. She's the most wonderful character and full of spirit. She reminds me very much of my first pony, Bonnie. I love an animal with spark and personality. When considering her, and when talking to the SSPCA, we said top priorities were ok with livestock and ok with children. She ticks both.

And now for the disappointment.... My uncle, dad to my 6 year old cousin, has said he won't allow cousin near our new dog. He thinks that because she's from the SSPCA she will be aggressive. Essentially I was issued an ultimatum- if I want to see my cousin then I wasn't to get my dog.

I'm heartbroken :( My cousin is so important to me. However OH and I are establishing our family. We want a dog, she fits the bill. My only consolation is my mum, dad and sister are 100% behind us. My uncle has every right to do what he thinks is right for his child, but he has no right to tell me what I can and can't do and to ruin such a happy time :confused:
 
cant you just shut the dog away when the child visits? I can completely understand his worries but what a strange thing for him to demand!
 
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Or see the child without the dog present? I really don't think it's an either/or situation!
 
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Can you not get the dog & just see the cousin without the dog?

I can understand the Uncles POV (I don't agree with it at all, as all our family dogs (including the dog we had before I was born up until I was a teenager) have been shelter dogs) but it's not an uncommon myth/worry.

In time, once the dog has settled & proved itself around kids, you may find he relaxes.
 
I was in a similar situation when my in-laws kept a German Shephard in their garden (he was not allowed in the house). He was not well trained, and not used to children and I didn't feel that it was safe to let my children (a newborn baby and a 3 year old at the time) to play in the garden with him. This caused lots of problems - my inlaws felt I was over reacting and being too protective, but I felt that the dog was a danger to them and wouldn't put my children at risk.

The dog died the following year and they haven't replaced him so the problem has been solved, but if it had come to a situation where they insisted that the children went in the garden with the dog, or we don't visit, then we wouldn't have visited. I think that you have to meet your uncle half way and put the dog in a safe place well out of the way when they visit. You may not agree with their viewpoint, but at the end of day they believe that the dog is a danger and you simply saying that it isn't is not going to change their mind.
 
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What ignorant tosh. I'd be inclined to take the dog and your uncles attitude would hopefully change given time and hearing from other family members about how nice the dog is.
 
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That or just put the dog away when they are there, I do that plenty of times when we have visitors and they aren't keen on dogs.
 
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We have always had dogs and our children grew up with them no problem. However I would never run the risk of trusting a dog I didn't know, whether from a rescue centre or a private home, with a child, nor would I trust my dog with a child it didn't know. Children are just too important! It only takes a second for something to go wrong and a child's face is very close to the dog's teeth. My children are grown up now so our current dog isn't used to small children and he goes out or is shut in another room if we have family with their children round. I hope the uncle will compromise if you can assure him you will keep the dog away from the child.
 
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Totally agree FM. He's made himself look like a right idiot and he's also now running the risk of being removed from my wedding.

The plan WAS to have them meet our pooch in the homing centre, under controlled conditions with their expert dog handler in charge. I have never once suggested leaving the child with her, I have never once suggested that I am unwilling to put her in a different room if they are visiting. This whole rigmarole was started by me asking if they'd like to come and meet her at the centre and speak to the expert who's assessed her.

I may be selfish but to us, pets are family. And if you can't accept our pets (canine, equine or other!) then please just don't bother visiting!! I'm especially annoyed when I have made consideration to THEM throughout this process and got full approval from the centre about her behaviour and attitude with children. It's soured the whole experience for me and now means at Christmas they will not be celebrating with us, in our new home. All because my dog is an evil, vicious aggressive husky. What cr@p!!
 
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It's not selfish at all, it's your choice and you have the perfect right to get whatever dog you like. But as a mum, I'd be a bit wary of letting my kids (aged 5 and 3) round an unknown dog, particularly a rescue (simply as you don't know what they've been through and what might trigger off certain behaviours) and particularly any larger breed (although yes I know small dogs can be little sh*ts and I personally prefer larger dogs too, being the proud owner of a labrador, it's purely that a bigger dog could potentially do more harm to a small child.) My kids are not remotely scared of dogs, having been raised with the lab who we've had from 8 weeks old and who thinks she's my third child, so my worry with them is that they'll try and ride on, or roll around with, a dog who doesn't like kids or doesn't like being manhandled - my dog loves it, having never known any different! I tell them to be calm round new dogs and not to assume they're all like Lola, but I am not sure they really get it. So try not to get too mad at your uncle, he is just being cautious, but maybe Christmas IS too soon for everyone to get together, as you'll only have had the dog for a few weeks, which isn't that long to get to know a new animal. Just my opinion, I do understand your frustration but I can see it from both sides.
 
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What a bizarre and extremely controlling stance to take, especially given that he hasn't even met the dog yet?

I understand completely that he might want to proceed with caution with an unknown dog and his child, very sensible. But the ultimatum would have me issuing my own ultimatum to be frank, and it wouldn't be a polite one either!

I always have shut my dogs away from any visiting children regardless of their temperment, also because I don't want my lovely mutts being terrorised by toddlers, babies and even older children who have never been educated in how to behave with dogs (or any other animals for that matter). Plus it would seriously upset me if a dog of mine DID harm a child, and I dont thing anyone can truly say their dog is childproof can they?:(
 
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Cortrasna said:
I always have shut my dogs away from any visiting children regardless of their temperment, also because I don't want my lovely mutts being terrorised by toddlers, babies and even older children who have never been educated in how to behave with dogs (or any other animals for that matter). Plus it would seriously upset me if a dog of mine DID harm a child, and I dont thing anyone can truly say their dog is childproof can they?:(
Click to expand...

These were my thoughts. The child doesn't know how to behave around animals. I wouldn't want her hurting or provoking my dog! I have since emailed my uncle expressing my disappointment but telling him I'm getting her and that is that!!
 
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good on you ! Accidents happen with irresponsible owners not the dogs, its very rude of your uncle to assume you wont be taking cautions !
 
I am very much in favour of children and dogs are separate , if kids are coming around, for both the child's safety and dogs. If the two are together they would never be left alone together,not even for a second. I think your uncle is going a bit OTT on this really.
 
Just wanted to add. Huskys are big strong dogs. But it's like any dog. If you train them well especially with your husky, shepards, rotties etc. They need firm but fair handling. Give them that and there amazing dogs
 
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