Age and confidence

Kite_Rider

Kite_Rider

Cantering cabbage!
May 18, 2009
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Sorry this may be long, I'm feeling a bit down today and I've been wondering is confidence related to age?
I don't just mean around horses I mean in general, for instance I used to be a speed demon, thought nothing of riding my motorbike at a hundred mile and hour or more, used to take stupid risks in fast cars, used to Kite buggy, used to be Mrs confidence at work etc etc.
Now I've noticed that over the last few years my whole confidence has crumbled. I feel so fed up with being pathetic I could cry, and then I have to slap myself to get a grip when I do.
I have always been one of those women who really don't like women like IM turning into and I don't know why I'm turning into mrs pathetic nervous old lady.
I just don't get it, is it because as we get older we realise how precious life is?
Sorry to air - feeling sorry for myself today, maybe hormones I guess. I'll get my coat.
 
For me it isn't age related. I was confident in my late teens and very early 20's then lost it all during my mid to late 20's - found it again in my early 30's, lost it again and it is now slowly coming back............oh dear. As I've got older different things worry me though - and I can now look back and laugh when I think about the stuff that used to worry me.
 
definitely!! i'm 'only' 33 but really not as confident as i was as a teenager! I used to do all manner or kerrazy shenanigans that I wouldn't dream of attempting these days! perfectly normal I thinK!
 
I think when I was younger I did a lot of stuff with out thinking about it, whereas now I tend to put a lot more thought in, rationalise etc but I think I am much much more confident as a person now, the mad impulsive things I used to do we're probably just to be accepted by my peers, whereas now I do what I want when I want (almost always:tongue:)
I do respect life is precious now and don't take it all for granted , but there nothing wrong with being careful, that's not lack of confidence that's self preservation
 
For me the opposite is true. These days at the grand old age of 36 I am far more self confident and happier in my decisions than I ever have been. Riding wise I have also never been so confident, but that is due to me finding my horse of a lifetime and spending time building up our partnership together.

I used to worry about what people thought of me, if they 'liked' me or if they wanted me around. These days all I care about is the opinions of my family and a few close friends. I have so much going on with my life in terms of family/home/work/horse and I just concentrate on one thing at a time!
 
That's the thing though, I'm not talking about things I did as a young woman I'm talking things I did 2/3 years ago... :(

Just been for a fab ride on my gorgeous girly and am feeling on top of the world again right now, but I can't seem to keep hold of that feeling for long anymore, I love my life now more than I have ever done and apart from work am a very happy lady, but just can't stop the blithering idiot from surfacing all too often.
 
Kite_Rider said:
That's the thing though, I'm not talking about things I did as a young woman I'm talking things I did 2/3 years ago... :(

Just been for a fab ride on my gorgeous girly and am feeling on top of the world again right now, but I can't seem to keep hold of that feeling for long anymore, I love my life now more than I have ever done and apart from work am a very happy lady, but just can't stop the blithering idiot from surfacing all too often.
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Maybe it's work that is dragging you down. Could you think about changing your job if you are not happy?
 
newforest said:
Is it confidence or lack of fun?
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Nope don't think so, have plenty of fun in my life.

I'll give you an example, driving today in my trusty Shogun down the country roads to pick up some bedding, don't know the road at all and it's very twisty, uppy downy road, was crawling along like an old granny because I was scared to go faster, now if you knew me you would know that this is not me in any way shape or form...even hubby thinks I've changed over the last couple of years, I'm still a bit gung ho about some things and will jump in with both feet most of the time but don't understand where these 'wobbles' come from.
 
I don't think its age in itself. I am having a growing suspicion its circumstances (for me anyway).

When we are young we have less cares and responsibilities, as these grow,(and we get older) situations get harder.

For me life is a wee bit s..t atm (not big time I am much luckier than many). I think that has a big impact, on confidence and fun and enjoyment. Its nothing to do with the beloved horses, but it stops me from haveing enjoyment.

I think its too easy to blame hormones and age. There are so many other factors.
 
I was a fair old daredevil years ago - flying lessons, parachuting, going round race circuits with racing drivers deliberately spinning off because it made me laugh...I was still a bit of an adrenaline junkie as I entered my thirties. Then I had my son, and that had an immediate effect on me, as I had responsibilities and didn't want to miss him growing up because I was a) seriously injured or b) deaded.

I know exactly what you mean, I don't like wimps but feel I have become one over the last few years. It's the 'what if' syndrome I think, plays havoc with one's sense of adventure.

Strange thing is, I had my 50th birthday last year, then came within hours of loosing my dear old dad a couple of months later. He is 86 and has made a remarkable recovery but has had a bit of a personality change (for the good, he has always had a sense of humour but has now turned into a complete comedian!). Very recently, I can feel the old me coming back. Maybe it is realising I'm definitely more than halfway through my life, and knowing how dad has always made the most of his life. Then nearly died from a bump to the head he got when he stumbled in the kitchen.

Times they are a-changing. :biggrin: For the better.

I would love to tell you 'this is what you do' to change how you are feeling. Just take some comfort from the fact that it happens to lots of people, at lots of times, for different reasons. And just a quickly, something else in your life might change, and make it right again. I wish you luck!
 
I don't think it is so much age as general life related. I had an awful lack of confidence in everything in my late 40's but there were so many things going on at that time that it was more a reflection of my general insecurity.

I am certainly more circumspect in what horses I will handle now ( in 60's) than when I was young but that is more knowing my physical limitations than confidence. I am now more frustrated by my bodies unwillingness to do what my brain knows it should than anything else!!

Still have to remind myself that there are speed limits on motorways although I have never been 'brave/daring' generally ...I love driving although as I have aged I have been more fussy about what I drive !!
 
Kite Rider your thread is interesting as is Trewsers, you seem to have similar things going on.

Has anything upset/sent you off course recently? Don't need to say of course, cos it might be personal, but its surprising how outside influences affect us.

I could prattle on for a lifetime about mine so its no wonder I have issues. I wont go there but it does really have and impact.

Even the media health and safety stuff is enough to drive you witless. I personally never watch the news, its all to much doom and gloom. If I listened to that stuff and took it in I might as well through in the towel. I wont of course. It is hard though blocking it all out.
 
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