A positive thread about being a real novice.....

Trewsers

Trewsers

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Oct 13, 2004
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For a long time after moving off my first yard to another yard (going back 3 years now) I felt as tho I might be ruining Storm by not "doing enough" with her. I worried and worried as my confidence ebbed away (through various other factors / reasons I hasten to add). Anyway, long story cut short, when I brought her home to live I still fixated on self doubt and worrying that I was going to spoil her in some way - and that everything she had learned would be forgotten and undone. Well, I just want to say that whilst hoovering today:eek: I was given to random horse thought again and I realised that NO - I have not ruined her in any way. We are plodding along nicely and I feel more in "tune" with her than ever before. So for all you novices like me out there, perhaps older riders who are filled with self doubt and worry about not doing the right thing (yards can be a good and a BAD influence I would like to say) you ARE doing the right thing if it feels right and just go with it.
Just wanted to share - cos today when I rode Storm I knew instantly that she was off-colour and not quite right. Going back all those years (5) I wouldn't have spotted it so easily, so I am being rather self-congratulatory here but I spotted it and remedied it immediately. (See different thread).
Sorry for the long post - but I just thought it might help anybody who thinks they aren't cantering enough, not hacking enough, not doing enough in general - you are!!!!!!!!:)
 
Thanks Trewsers, I need threads like this! I am that novice older rider filled with self doubt, having just got my first horse, and doubly worried because he is so young and needs someone who can show him what to do, not the other way round!

This week's worry is that I haven't been riding Rafi enough - just been working too late and too many things to do when I get home to have had chance after work. Then today (my day off) Raf had his 2nd injection so couldnt ride, tomorrow I'm meeting up with my brother & sister in the Lakes so can't ride (couldn't anyway because of his injection) so won't get to ride until Sunday. Then I think if I can't put in the time to ride him, am I really fit to own a horse???

Your thread is very comforting! Thanks x
 
Nice to hear! I worried that I was going to "waste" Rusty by not doing more with him - but, you know what? we both seem quite happy pottering about in the arena. I don't think he spends time thinking "I wish she'd try to turn me into a showjumper" :)
 
As Minkersmum said, a very inspiring post!

I share a horse but would like to own but I would like to own one day, I know that I would always be full of doubts and worries but you say is so true ....go with your instinct .

I guess that today you had one of those "Eureka" moments! :)
 
A good post. There are no absolute rights and wrongs and there's certainly no rules about what you must do and by when you must do it!

Something I've thought of as a novice first-time owner, is how long it takes to get to know a horse when you are new to all this. I've discovered a year is nothing.

:)
 
there are some horses who need to work but most don't - my gang potter about in the field and are quite happy.

i used to get this all the time with Molly. I bought her as a 6yo green cob, and when i was made redundant, I had a lot more time, so i did a lot more with her, longer rides, taking her to shows. in 3 months she broke down, went lethargic, just not right. Liver damage, she was off for 3 years. Never felt right. in the end i retired her.

a lot of folks got on at me, too soft, just needed to be made to go, but i felt sure she was wrong. when we got rosie, i decided to put them both in work again. Rosie hadn't done anything for 3 years and was very fat, so second rider rode her, and we did gentle walks. in 3 weeks, rosie plodded along and kept up Molly led. then one day i rode her, it was windy, so she would normally be spooky, not a spook. Knew she was wrong. got off her led her home, last time i rode her. this time shoes off saddle sold, end of it.

her bloods confirmed that the very light exercise had tripped her liver into freefall again and this time it was bad, worried she would die. she is fine, happy as a clam, fat as a pudding, been retired the best part of her life, as she is now 21 and since she was 6, has worked about 6 months maximum!

IF i had listened to everyone who said push her on, she is just being lazy, taking the mick, i don't think she would be here, but i trusted my instincts about her and when she went wrong second time, it confirmed my fears that if she works, even very very gently, she just can't do it. but no one would listen to me, vets, other riders/owners, not one. they all thought i was wimping out of riding her as she could be hot and a bit of a drama queen...which she was but she really just couldn't do it.

In the end, she's my horse and she's had a fabulous life doing diddly squat and she is very happy. But riding, no.
 
Us humans need to remember that most horses/ponies are quite happy just sticking to their routine - as long as they have company, correct feeding etc.

I worry that I don't do enough with Frayne, but that is because she goes footy if she doesn't get enough exercise, so I lunge/long rein a few times per week if I can't ride. I bought her because she was the sort of pony who didn't need riding a lot (I was tempted by an endurance pony, who needs hours and hours per week, and that is just a warm up :eek:, but sensibly realised I couldn't cope with that sort of riding).

Just enjoy your time together, what ever you are doing.

Ali xx
 
I have days of self doubt too. I reckon I've only ridden Kels about eight times in eighteen months through paralysing confidence issues and I hate myself sometimes because this is an ex competition horse and I feel at times she's being wasted and I've ruined her.

Then I remember how much I love being with her and how much she trusts me, and then I feel better about things.

Though almost without exception people on my yard, though sympathetic as most have been there, think that getting on and doing it's the ONLY way to get over my issues. Yes, it CAN be, but IMO for every horse and every owner there's a hundred ways that will work, and it's up to us to find the perfect combination that will give us a relaxed happy horse and happy relaxed rider.

For example, I'm leading her down the path from the field. A large bird flies out of the tree across our path, just as someone starts up their car on the other side of the trees. She stops, snorts, I reassure her and we move on. So another time we could be out hacking and a large lorry slows down and passes us. She stops, snorts, I think "OMG she's going to bolt/buck/rear!". She desperately needs me to reassure her and move forward, but I can't do this because of my own fear, so there's now a very real possibility that she's going to do the exact thing that I fear, through her own panic, simply because the small animal who normally tells her everything's fine is sitting on her back quaking. See, she doesn't realise that it's her reaction that's scaring me, not the horse-eating machine that's chasing us.

So how does just getting on and doing it help either of us? I don't know about you, but I think it's so much better to have a horse that trusts you and is happy to be with you that you can hang out with than one that you're only happy riding when everything in the garden's lovely.
 
I'm so glad that my thread appealed to some of you - I just wanted to share the fact that I think sometimes as older owners then we worry unnecessarily about "spoiling" or "wasting" our horses - it doesn't work like that I'm sure!!!! It kind of just hit me that for once, I wasn't worrying about not doing enough, or what I was doing being wrong etc etc, I just recently have enjoyed being an owner, truly and that is enough.
 
Hear hear!

Another thought - I don't think for a second that our horses have any awareness of being wasted or ruined. All they need from us is food and a safe place to live and that's enough for them. If we can do stuff with them that we enjoy, be it galloping round Badminton, plodding round the field or just being groomed and fussed over, that's a bonus, so what does it matter what anyone else thinks?
 
Too true diamonddogs - its us that place the pressure - not them. I realised today as OH and I lazed in the field with our pair, they were completely relaxed and happy eating their heads off - not a bit bothered by the fact that we only rode for a short while this morning!!
 
I'm in the same boat - having finally bought my pony after many years of wanting one, I have fallen off a few times and been told by the hospital that I'm not allowed to ride for a few weeks so I was starting to worry that I'm not doing much with her other than a bit of lunging/loose-schooling. But having read everyone's replies, I realise its not just me so thanks for that :D
 
Happy bunny - lunging or loose schooling is where it all started getting better for Storm and me, before I started with it we either rode or didn't and that was that. Now I enjoy the groundwork just as much as actually riding her and I do think she enjoys it too, so don't worry about not riding. Hope you're allowed to ride again soon!
 
diamonddogs said:
I have days of self doubt too. I reckon I've only ridden Kels about eight times in eighteen months through paralysing confidence issues and I hate myself sometimes because this is an ex competition horse and I feel at times she's being wasted and I've ruined her.

Then I remember how much I love being with her and how much she trusts me, and then I feel better about things.

Though almost without exception people on my yard, though sympathetic as most have been there, think that getting on and doing it's the ONLY way to get over my issues. Yes, it CAN be, but IMO for every horse and every owner there's a hundred ways that will work, and it's up to us to find the perfect combination that will give us a relaxed happy horse and happy relaxed rider.

For example, I'm leading her down the path from the field. A large bird flies out of the tree across our path, just as someone starts up their car on the other side of the trees. She stops, snorts, I reassure her and we move on. So another time we could be out hacking and a large lorry slows down and passes us. She stops, snorts, I think "OMG she's going to bolt/buck/rear!". She desperately needs me to reassure her and move forward, but I can't do this because of my own fear, so there's now a very real possibility that she's going to do the exact thing that I fear, through her own panic, simply because the small animal who normally tells her everything's fine is sitting on her back quaking. See, she doesn't realise that it's her reaction that's scaring me, not the horse-eating machine that's chasing us.

So how does just getting on and doing it help either of us? I don't know about you, but I think it's so much better to have a horse that trusts you and is happy to be with you that you can hang out with than one that you're only happy riding when everything in the garden's lovely.
Click to expand...

This rings very true for me. I have done a heap of walking out in hand and now feel super confident walking my boy around and if he spooks I know how to cope. In the saddle its a different story and Monday's fall just reinforces that. I've heard people on here say they feel safer on their horse - they can cope better with any problems but not the way I feel at the moment.
I do think in the last nine months that I've gone from naively confident to super safety conscious unconfident to relaxed and calm owner. I don't worry about the slightest little thing anymore and am slipping into the groove of knowing what my boy's issues are - what to watch out for.
Its going to be strange cause I've got so used to NOT being able to ride Flipo for the last nine months, that its a big deal. So now being set a plan of attack for overcoming our combined fears its going to be weird. But really good weird. Still got a lot to learn about my horse, but getting there. It's nice to reflect on how far we've come, thankyou Trewsers.

ETA sorry I'm a bit rambly!!:eek:
 
Thankyou Trewsters for this supportive thread. When I had my own farm there was no people pressure but now having to agist it can be quite miserable. Comments like you can't have a horse as a pet. And if you can't ride flat out over the bridge on a main highway what's wrong with you?. I try to pick times when nobody else will be there and enjoy my horse. As my farrier said. Isn't it meant to be about fun? Not what other people think.
Kindest regards Oldbushy;)
 
Yeah, I remember that one - "are you riding today"! lol, don't think folk can quite understand that sometimes you are just happy to groom and do the day to day caring. I used to get snidey comments but to be honest, they went over my head most of the time! Since getting them home, I think I used to put the most pressure on myself!!! Until my lightbulb moment hoovering the kitchen the other day!
 
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