101 reasons for not being confident with your horse

newforest

newforest

Well-Known Member
Mar 15, 2008
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What are the reason's you have thought of in the past, and how have you overcome this?

I'm in the processes of setting up a website from real people's point of view. I wanted it to be on the lines of my treeless one, whereby it's not written by experts, but the people themselves who know what it's like. I do have a MASC Dip.Stress Management, but i am not an expert, i am though very sensitive not immune to nerves.

I want it to have the "your not alone" friendly feel to it.

I'm open to suggestions on the title for it:smile:, and if anyone is experienced in confidence issues and has a site themselves, i can add them to my links.
 
101 reasons to choose spending time with the In Laws over the pony

101 reasons to see OH instead of the horse


... Is it confidence related entirely?

I love mine dearly, but I do have days, quite often at the moment where because of the state of her I can;t face going up, or doing anything when Im there (poo picking etc). I see her and end up spending poo picking time crying or going home as I can face it. I dread what awaits me on a daily basis when she is bad.
 
Most of mine at the moment are weather related. If its too windy he'll spook. If its spitting rain then my saddle will get ruined and its too slippy and he doesn't enjoy being in the rain. If its warm then he might overheat, there will be too many flies about and he'll get frustrated and shake and I'll fall off.
If its cold then he'll overheat and then get cold when we stop, catching a chill.
The perfect conditions are 14 degrees, cloudy, with a very slight breeze. How many days a year does that happen.

At the moment my other main reason is that I don't have anyone to come and help me, Not able to ride alone at the mo so need a helper, but I'm too chicken to ask people.
 
FM - me & Fin have just about got over that stage (I think) If the weather wasnt perfect i wouldnt ride...if there was too many people around i wouldnt ride...the list goes on....Now its more like 'I dont give a toss whats going on, i want to ride & thats that!!'
It does come eventually :wink: I still have the occasional wibble about the wind mind :redface:

I dont think i have anything usfull to add....i cant think of any reason why i wouldnt want to be with finnley, But thats because he has been so well behaved recently. :wink:

Guess a year ago i would of said 'Because he spooks at EVERYTHING'...'Because he doesnt trust me'.....'Because i dont trust him'...'Because i cant do what i want with him'..etc :happy:
 
there are no reasons not to see my horse because of him. my reasons i dont want to go to the yard are because of the yard! i have some sort of social phobia going on and cant stand seeing anyone, so i wont go to the yard unless its after 7pm as i no nobody else will be there. if i have to go before then i have to make my mom or OH come with me to protect me! even then i feel sick and get stomach cramps. but when im there and no-one else is, i could stay with him forever :). so basically my reason for not wanting to see my horse is because it usually involves seeing people ;)
 
The kids have worn you out
OH is working till 7.30pm
Wine or horse - drinking at 3.30pm is normal right ???
Cant be bothered to drive
Friend have come round unplanned and you dont want to miss anything
 
I'm still only riding with an escort for ten minutes on most days, but at least I feel disappointed on the days when I can't ride her.

I still don't feel up to riding without an escort, so my riding days have to be when someone's around to help me, but I feel so much better than I did in the old days when it was:

I couldn't possibly ride tonight because it'll be getting dark when I get to the yard.

It's too hot/it's too cold.

The ground's too soft/too hard.

Oh dear, at least four spots of rain dropped from the sky two hours ago, so maybe it'll be best if I ride another time.

OMG - she flicked her ear a fraction of an inch when the gale force wind (slight breeze) rustled a twig in the hedge when I brought her in.

No, I'd better not ride today because there's nobody around if anything happened/there's too many people about to see me look an idiot.

What's wrong with her hoof? Pass that magnifying glass - I think there might be a slight crack there. No, I'd better not ride her in case she goes lame.

I don't have time to ride today - we've got visitors coming in four hours.
 
I have no excuse as ours are at home, however work does interfere with the riding side. I tend to do the chores because they are essential but the good stuff like riding gets pushed aside sometimes - work is the only excuse tho! Poor health can be an excuse on OH's behalf. Confidence (touches wood) is not an issue at the moment for either of us.
 
PF initially i was keeping as confidence issues, it largely depends on how it grows and where it goes.

i'm always open to suggestions, maybe i could add a 101 reasons why you would want to be with your horse, but there is already a book out called why a horse is better than a human, so i guess already been covered?
 
I actually walked all the way to the field intending on bringing them in but I managed to convince myself that they looked a bit tierd so I walked back and watched big brother with a cup of tea and a muffin instead!
 
tazzy-anne said:
there are no reasons not to see my horse because of him. my reasons i dont want to go to the yard are because of the yard! i have some sort of social phobia going on and cant stand seeing anyone, so i wont go to the yard unless its after 7pm as i no nobody else will be there. if i have to go before then i have to make my mom or OH come with me to protect me! even then i feel sick and get stomach cramps. but when im there and no-one else is, i could stay with him forever :). so basically my reason for not wanting to see my horse is because it usually involves seeing people ;)
Click to expand...
I'm a bit antisocial as well and see horsey time as alone time. Unfortunately because of our confidence issues, I've had to really face up to the fact that I need other people. Know what you mean though, I've been known to abandon groundwork sessions in my field half way through just cause someone walks past and I worry that they will see me and criticise my ability (or lack of).
Are the people not nice on your yard?
 
Confidence is not an issue with us luckily, and I'm not a fair weather rider although I have my limits, but I do have reasons not to.

I was a bit like popularfurball when Rhia was lame - put off going up because it depressed me seeing her. Rhia was lame last night, for the first time in over a year (old "bad leg" arthritis). :( I hope it doesn't last long- I'm blaming it on the damp.

But, I do have reasons for not riding:

Too busy- I live in the hiking capital of the Peak District, some weekends, bridlepaths are like the M1 and it stops it being enjoyable.

Also sometimes I have got to the stables in the morning to ride, tired/hungover myself and potted about with a sleepy horse brushing and cuddling and thinking that neither of us want to go out so what is the point.

The rest of the time it is laziness. I work for myself, could fit in riding everyday if I just did my work and didn't faff about doing more fun stuff! So everyday it gets to a certain time and I'm rushed doing my work then run out of time to ride! I really annoy myself with this, and am doing it today (although I can't ride cos of lameness I really should take Holly out).
 
Decided it's going to be like a "How We Overcome It" website.

Focusing on the positive.:happy:
 
Perhaps it should be 101 ways to confidence?...

Am with you 100% Newforest on focussing on the positive approach. We cannot change the past or how we felt, what we can do is to acknowledge that we felt that way and behaved in a certain way because of our thoughts and feelings.

What we then do is find the motivation to change our mindset and limiting beliefs so that we can go forward taking positive steps for the future. Confidence is very much linked to your mindset - whatever you feed it good or bad (a bit like food really!) it will grow.

O...

p.s. just wanted to say hello everyone now back on NR after a short break following work and business commitments, and looking forward to catching up with everyone. Will post my news and what I have been doing on a separate post.
 
Flipo's Mum said:
I'm a bit antisocial as well and see horsey time as alone time. Unfortunately because of our confidence issues, I've had to really face up to the fact that I need other people. Know what you mean though, I've been known to abandon groundwork sessions in my field half way through just cause someone walks past and I worry that they will see me and criticise my ability (or lack of).
Are the people not nice on your yard?
Click to expand...

Hey Flipo I am in the same boat as you with having my own yard and two horses and no-one around to say your doing this wrong or right etc so pretty much I am self taught with my two.

Why dont you advertise for a confidence giving sharer hun? I have a sharer who rides my mare twice a week and has helped her in leaps and bounds she has turned from a nervy skittish mare to a really well behaved horse. She has worked with on the ground and in ridden work. I no longer have heart failure when asking her for a canter or going for a hack but not alone as yet. With my sharers help she is starting becoming supple and balanced and is working off the leg. I know how you feel though when no-one is around I always have doubts and used to use every excuse in the book not to ride lol what if today she acts up, its to hot, its raining, windy, in season and what if I fall the list is endless lol but just having that little bit of help with her has really increased my confidence. x
 
Thanks Mollymoo26, it is something I've considered but I'm a bit selfish in the fact that I don't want my boy finding a better relationship with someone else.:redface: We've actually had a bit of progress in the last couple of weeks and I'm feeling more confident with my own abilities, and at the same time more relaxed. Also I've engineered a share of sorts - my mate is helping me ride, coming into my schooling sessions and ordering me about, giving me some direction and in return she is riding him once a week - working on his issues and showing me the way - sort of like my crash test dummy (without the crashing hopefully). :unsure:
I think my issue is its got to be the right sort of more experienced person - you know what I mean - there are some who like to impart their knowledge and experience a little too eagerly, not allowing us lesser mortals to have our own opinions and try things out for ourselves. This way I can retain control a bit, I actually find I take more responsibility when someone less experienced is around (I've employed my mum as helper at times and she knows very little). More experienced people actually make me feel less confident. Ok sorry I'm kind of going o/t on this so will stop rambling!!
Newforest - I think what I'm now getting at is other people can stop you wanting to spend time with your horse. Its a bit of a catch-22. Those without confidence really need help from others around. However those others have to be the right sort who will allow you to try things for yourself, apply the right amount of pressure and praise frequently. Otherwise that in itself can become a factor in us avoiding horsey time for fear of intimidation (and half the time I didn't realise it was going on with me, I was just grateful someone was trying to help until six months down the line.)
 
Asked for title to be changed as i've altered the website's direction.

i'm looking for confidence stories and tips from those of us who have been there or are there. People who have read the books and done the courses and listened to the cd's etc.

I want the focus to be from the public similar to the treeless website.:happy:

i will add link to site, when it doesn't look such a mess and has a few stories on it. No one ever wants to the first, if you do pm me and i can add you, no names or pics if you'd rather not. It's to build confidence and maybe it'll inspire someone else.
 
newrider.com
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