It's not just a horse.

MrA

MrA

Well-Known Member
Feb 8, 2012
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My horse is part of my family, I love him, he loves me and if anyone tries to tell me otherwise you may as well not bother wasting your breath.
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I just felt it was important to say that if someone is grieving one of the least helpful things you can do is tell them to get over it because their grief is not justified.

Let's have some horse and pony love today please ❤️
 
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Fully agree. What a lovely thread to start 😍

Ive had Faran from 6months old, he is fully a part of me and me of him. He looks for me and follows after me, if I take him anywhere and go out of sight he’s looking and neighing for me until I come back. Ive leant over him, worked with him and taken him walks all by himself since he was young, he’s trusts me and follows me and the bond we have is much more than just I feed him, he loves me in his own way 81246D84-0E86-4AB4-A8CF-F11121FA0A35.jpeg9D8CD695-6B0A-4A63-99AB-6FD24AECC0B9.jpeg2D85ADED-715D-42A5-92E3-15860CC95CE7.jpeg
 
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Happy days when we were a riding team. (Think this is probably about ten years back)

And happy days now, as a companionable team. I love her as much now as then (well more actually) and I spend hours in the summer with a book or ipad outside her paddocks just watching her. And I know she loves having my company.
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Being on box rest I am spending a lot of time just being with him. Not doing anything at all just sitting enjoying each other’s company. Sometimes chatting about nothing, sometimes saying nothing. He is quite happy with me being replacement company when he is in alone. He follows me when I go out of sight and whickers when I come back in to sight. I am not bringing food and he knows perfectly well where the feed room is and I am not coming back with it.

I love riding him. I feel sad we can’t go out for rides just now. But having him is so much more than riding. He is my best buddy. He understands what I say. He cheers me up when he knows I need it. He knows when to make me laugh and he knows when to stand with me quietly. When he was so unwell I had not even thought about getting to ride him. I simply thought about if he would be here tomorrow. If he is never ridden again I don’t really care. I’ll be disappointed but the most I get is just being with him and taking care of him. I enjoy more knowing he is fed, warm and content when I leave.

This is not something I tell people. In my darkest hours. Twice I had been in Mintos stable when I decided I had had enough and would end things. He refused to let me leave. Twice. He did nothing bad he simply blocked my way out of the door. He would not let me out. I could do nothing else than sit down again. It took time but my emotions came down again and I changed my mind. He then let me leave. This is not a dumb animal!
 
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Thank you @Ale, I think most of us totally agree with you. I was horrified by the post but since no-one reported it or messaged me about it I thought maybe I was the only one who thought it was rude and insensitive an as such I didn't take any action - I'm a mod but it isn't my forum.

I cannot understand how anyone who spends time around horses can think they don't love or aren't intelligent thinking individuals. Maybe it says something about a person that they are unable to see that?
 
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Do you do it over the bridle? I used to do under with Soli but then he would shake his bridle off. I have a full face ride on fly mask I use now.
 
I put it on after the bridle, but slip the tie string under each side, as he would shake his head and end up with an eye patch.
 
Thanks for starting this thread Ale, it was very nice of you.

It is the little things that occur between horse and human that demonstrate the bond and partnership which are perhaps not immediately obvious to the onlooker. Like the way Ben would move away from me if he wanted to scratch his back legs so he wouldn’t kick me. When we were hacking out and something scared me, he would become rock solid, put his head up and I felt like he was saying ‘Don’t worry, I have got this’. He never let me down.

When I first got Ben, both my children were under hospital care for serious conditions. During the day I would be a brave and upbeat mum, sorting everything out and being strong. In the evenings in the privacy of Ben’s stable I would sometimes howl on him. I let out all my sadness and cried so many tears. During those times he would completely ignore his food, put his head down and just let me hold him. He was such a support and comfort to me and I know I wouldn’t have coped without him.

In return, I did everything I could to make him happy. I paid 3 times more to keep him at a yard where he could have overnight turnout all year round because I knew he was happier this way. I realised my riding skills were lacking so I had lessons to improve. As he aged and developed various illnesses I followed vet advice to the letter and did all I could to make him as comfortable as I could.

We developed such a bond and we both looked to each other for help. In these last few weeks he was looking for me to take the pain in his mouth away. He would rub his sore part on me. When I turned him out he would stand by the gate and just look sadly at me. I did everything I could - I called the vet, we went to hospital, I gave him so many drugs. But in the end the only way I could remove his pain was to let him go. It was the right decision and I don’t regret it, but I feel very deep and raw grief now. To get over my grief it is not as simple as replacing him with another horse. I need time to process what has happened.

Sorry for the essay. It is 5am and I’m not sleeping well right now. It helps to write it all down.x
 
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You’re so right @Mary Poppins, it really is the small things, that little gesture, touch or breath in your ear for no reason other than because you needed it and they recognised your need and cared enough to stop what they’d normally do to make you feel better. It’s like someone who you’re so in tune with that you finish each other’s sentences, just physically.

Ive been very lucky to have several horses who I’ve been that close to, I feel it’s intensified even more when you get them young and they live their whole lives with you.
 
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@Mary Poppins I'd go as far as to say you don't get that level of love and empathy from every horse and that what you and Ben had was special and will never be replaced even if another does come along at some point. That's not to say another wouldn't build a relationship with you and find a place in your heart, but that soul to soul connection is different.

Where are you? If you're anywhere near the Berks/Wilts border and at some point in the future fancied some time around a cob you'd be very welcome to visit us.
 
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My stunning boy
I will add, that sox is like my therapist, teacher and soulmate all rolled into one. Whenever i am at the yard he is always watching me. I remeber i was deeply upset and was only really facing one option. I had tears down my face and he actually rested his head against my forehead as if to say ' it will be ok mum'
 
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