My back has been really really bad, spent most of last week bedridden as it's the only place i am comfy, can't sit. Been going on for nearly 2 months, managed to ride last weekend but it's bad again. Weekly osteo still not working, pain relief not working, osteo says that essentially most of it is stress caused by business in serious trouble due to covid-19 and mother living with us for more than six months. The main issue is mother, the business well i can handle if i have to but OH and I are at the end of our tethers with her bad temper, moods, huffs and generally being a total cow one minute and Mrs Smiley the next. We are walking on egg shells the whole time. Never mind her short term memory loss and lack of comprehension, we just answer the same question 20 times in a day and smile. I am in constant pain, osteo says my adrenals are in flight/fight all the time due to the stress and my whole body is sore, my right hip, cramp on left leg, my left knee is playing up again, i am feeling bloated, she says i am just done in and need to look after me. Which is hard to do given where we are with mum.
She can't go home. With lock down, she would be at home with just 4 x 10 minute visits a day (if they show up) 70 miles away. Her cleaner can't go in, and we had arranged for someone to do extra hours, an ex carer of her brother till he died in February but that wouldn't be allowed now as she is freelance only at the moment. OH would have to go up once a week to unload her shopping as she can't do it, but then we would be back into the panic calls in middle of night, emergency doctors etc.
So spend last 3 weeks filling in forms to find her a sheltered flat locally, I won't go into the pallaver involved but it's like dealing with HMRC on steroids. No coordination, no centralisation, get told different things everyone you talk to. Have managed to get her a priority status and last week we were offered two places.
Went to see them, one completely hopeless, 2nd floor in a large complex miles from the entrance, she would be marooned there. If she hit the wrong button on the lift she couldn't read the signs to flat..... and flat...it would take her 20 minutes to get to the exit and no way she could use the communal facilities (if they were open) or the dining room. It is a one bedroom flat which is what she wants. Same providers have a ground floor flat with own entrance in centre of village, we have a bid on it. We have turned down the first one and begged them to give her the second one.
We then went to see another complex, smaller, where they have offered her a studio flat. She doesn't like it, as it has no separate bedroom. It is very nice, good bathroom, lots of storage so no need for wardrobes, looks out onto a garden. She would need to use the lift to first floor - only floor - and it is third flat in, but just about do-able. You could use a piece of furniture like a shelfing unit with base to screen off the alcove it is in (L shaped room) and you would not see the bed. It is quite big area, you could get a double bed in and tables and chair and have the sitting room with all her stuff. They let us see a one bedroom flat on ground floor, which she wants. Yes it is better, but it has been allocated and i have begged them to consider her for it. I doubt they will do it. She has to choose whether a separate bedroom is a deal breaker or not. If she wants a one bedder, there is one inthe big complex and she will never go out from there. If she takes the studio, we can easily take her out.
Tuesday the deadline on the village flat closes and they make a decision on who gets it. If we don't get this or the ground floor at the other place, I feel bad but she really needs to take the other one as we can rule out the large complex as the chances of getting one right at the entrance are zero short term, and the other complex where we were not offered anything (went to two gold priority applicants who have been on waiting list a year) is again in 3 floors and unless she got lucky and got something near lift is probably not going to help.
The flurry of vacancies is probably going to slow down now as they have been catching up due to covid-19. Mum can hardly remember that we went to see those two and can't grasp that she has been offered the studio flat which is ready to go and she could move in NOW once it is carpeted.
I am praying that we get offered both of them (2 separate providers) and can get her moved out. Otherwise i have no idea what the hell we can do as my health is really bad at the moment and OH is having to pick up the strain and he has had enough.
If you get to the end of this well done. I am back up to bed!
She can't go home. With lock down, she would be at home with just 4 x 10 minute visits a day (if they show up) 70 miles away. Her cleaner can't go in, and we had arranged for someone to do extra hours, an ex carer of her brother till he died in February but that wouldn't be allowed now as she is freelance only at the moment. OH would have to go up once a week to unload her shopping as she can't do it, but then we would be back into the panic calls in middle of night, emergency doctors etc.
So spend last 3 weeks filling in forms to find her a sheltered flat locally, I won't go into the pallaver involved but it's like dealing with HMRC on steroids. No coordination, no centralisation, get told different things everyone you talk to. Have managed to get her a priority status and last week we were offered two places.
Went to see them, one completely hopeless, 2nd floor in a large complex miles from the entrance, she would be marooned there. If she hit the wrong button on the lift she couldn't read the signs to flat..... and flat...it would take her 20 minutes to get to the exit and no way she could use the communal facilities (if they were open) or the dining room. It is a one bedroom flat which is what she wants. Same providers have a ground floor flat with own entrance in centre of village, we have a bid on it. We have turned down the first one and begged them to give her the second one.
We then went to see another complex, smaller, where they have offered her a studio flat. She doesn't like it, as it has no separate bedroom. It is very nice, good bathroom, lots of storage so no need for wardrobes, looks out onto a garden. She would need to use the lift to first floor - only floor - and it is third flat in, but just about do-able. You could use a piece of furniture like a shelfing unit with base to screen off the alcove it is in (L shaped room) and you would not see the bed. It is quite big area, you could get a double bed in and tables and chair and have the sitting room with all her stuff. They let us see a one bedroom flat on ground floor, which she wants. Yes it is better, but it has been allocated and i have begged them to consider her for it. I doubt they will do it. She has to choose whether a separate bedroom is a deal breaker or not. If she wants a one bedder, there is one inthe big complex and she will never go out from there. If she takes the studio, we can easily take her out.
Tuesday the deadline on the village flat closes and they make a decision on who gets it. If we don't get this or the ground floor at the other place, I feel bad but she really needs to take the other one as we can rule out the large complex as the chances of getting one right at the entrance are zero short term, and the other complex where we were not offered anything (went to two gold priority applicants who have been on waiting list a year) is again in 3 floors and unless she got lucky and got something near lift is probably not going to help.
The flurry of vacancies is probably going to slow down now as they have been catching up due to covid-19. Mum can hardly remember that we went to see those two and can't grasp that she has been offered the studio flat which is ready to go and she could move in NOW once it is carpeted.
I am praying that we get offered both of them (2 separate providers) and can get her moved out. Otherwise i have no idea what the hell we can do as my health is really bad at the moment and OH is having to pick up the strain and he has had enough.
If you get to the end of this well done. I am back up to bed!