The Chronicles of a New Rider - Part XIII

[Pedro]

Hi!

I'm leaving you something to keep you busy for the weekend .

By the way, see if you like this infantrymen's view of the horse I found in a Portuguese riding book I've read: "An animal that bites at the front, kicks at the rear and is uncomfortable in the middle".

In little more than an hour I'll be leaving work for one more lesson, and then for a quiet weekend. That's bound to cheer me up no end!


Wednesday, 22 November

I'm starting to think that horse riding lessons at 7pm are a kind of substitute to the American "guys only" poker/bowling nights. Although the previous lesson was all (pre-teen) female, mine was all (20+) male. The students that come at this time are not very regular, because of work or school, but a few faces are no longer anonymous.

As usual we went with Francisco to the stalls to meet our partners for today's ball. Mine was Contrera... or was it Contera? Cantrera? I'm lousy with names.
Even in my short time around the barn I've noticed her for her flatulence. That fact seems to be well established, even among the fellow horses - this is one horse that is never tailgated ! As I was going around her getting her ready, I noticed a warning sign. Forget about flattened ears, don't concern me with swishing tails and never mind stamping feet or whatever. As soon as I saw that tail rise, I knew I was in trouble . Fortunately it was a false alarm <wipes sweat off the brow>.

With that issue settled (for the time being) we proceeded to the arena, checked the tack and mounted. Francisco taught us about an issue I was unfamiliar with. He told us that we should ask for permission before mounting. To the instructor in the case of lessons, to other riders in other cases. According to Francisco this is a mater of protocol, those that follow it create a better first impressions with new instructors or riding companions. Anyway, being polite doesn't hurt!

We started in walk, where I found that I'm more in tune with the horse. I have a better feel of the different motion of the horse's sides, and working with the lower back and hip, I can influence the horse's rhythm a little.
Once again I found myself in front, either there's a trend here or I'm becoming paranoid . The reason I don't like being in front showed itself when we sped up for trot. Contrera begun by ignoring me, when that didn't work she sped up alright - into canter and straight for the centre! I stopped her immediately and turned her around thinking that at least I'd be snug and comfy in the last position. Unfortunately the other guys were having problems of their own, their horse's having misbehaved when mine did ("Sorry guys..."). Now that I think of it, Contrera probably imagined a horse eating monster as excuse for her actions, and the other horses just took the lead. Live and learn...

The lesson carried on normally, rising trot, sitting trot without stirrups. Circles, changes of reins, etc. One of my companions, André, kept being told to lower his heels. Poor guy, every couple of minute Francisco was reminding him of his heels. If I understood properly, he had either ridden without the benefit of lessons, or he had a lousy teacher.
He has some nasty habits that (as usually happens) are hard to correct. I think Francisco was feeling a bit awkward about always picking on André, so he explained that he was insisting on the position because it was important. It's for our own improvement, etc. It's obvious Francisco likes to teach, explain and just plain talk about horses. He also likes telling stories about his experiences as rider and teacher. I wonder... why would anyone enjoy telling stories about their riding?
Francisco's knack for words continues. After the radishes and the not so generous horses, now my position is described as "...engraçada". Now, the word "engraçada" means "cute" or "funny" and is sometimes used with the meaning of "amusingly interesting". To describe a position you'd expect adjectives like "correct", "decent", "reasonable" or even "goodish", but that wouldn't be as entertaining I guess!

To help André with the heel (and the other two of us too) we did another exercise: trotting while standing in the stirrups, with the heel down and the back stiff straight. However simple this is, I was having some trouble with it. Francisco kept telling me to straighten up, not to poke my bum out. But thanks to the pommel I couldn't do so without endangering my prospects of ever receiving Child Support . At some point about this time I started hearing a strange "brrrrrrrrr" kind of sound coming from behind I couldn't quite place. Care to guess what it was? That was the first time a horse farted while I was on top, and let me tell you, that was not a short or quiet matter! My mind kept wandering about lighters and instant transitions to canter ...

As usual we helped take care of the horses, unsaddling them, feeding the rations and hay. I stayed a while longer to watch a short lunge lesson for a new student (one of my fellow student's wife) and listen to Francisco talking about the inevitability of meeting brick walls during our progression. That's a warning that the more you heed the less frustrated you'll get when it happens (or so I hope)!


Have a nice weekend everyone! See you in monday with the 14th part (never though I'd get this far)!

Pedro Fortunato

http://www.geocities.com/pedrofortunato/nr.html - Photos from my 7th lesson
http://www.geocities.com/pedrofortunato/nr2.html - Photos from my first horse rides

 

[judyl]

Hello Pedro

Once again, many thanks for your Chronicles. Thank heavens I'm home on my own so no-one can hear the chuckles!

My husband Tim's horse also has the same problem as Cantera? Sometimes when we're hacking over the common and in canter, we're more or less side by side, and then it starts! Blooi usually accelerates and I'm sure it's by some sort of jet propulsion! Needless to say Shade and I stay over to the side and don't follow in line!

Keep up the Chronicles!

Judy

 

[Cathy Reynolds]

Have been away for 3 days on business. Best bit of coming home is going on-line and finding a message from Pedro.

 

[Heather]

HI Pedro,

Sorry to hear that you have had to encounter a horse with a little er........ wind problem. You think you have problems? Try being an instructor when it is not the horse, but the student who has troubles in the flatulence department. I have learned to keep a straight face, no matter whatever tympanic noises might be emanating from the saddle region- I am telling you, this job teaches you self control in every sense of the word!!!

I used to teach a very brilliant man, a Cambridge double first, who had a very severe problem in this department. I began to fear at one point for my saddle! My Lipizzan horse who he was riding, is also not known for his restraint in the nether regions, but I quickly realised that it was not the horse, when even he looked round to see what what was going on!!

My student looked unabashed, pardoned himself a couple of times, and carried on passing wind at regular intervals for the rest of thelesson.

Having an encyclopaedic knowledge, he later enquired as he, my yard manager and I were sitting drinking coffee, whether we knew the fact that humans broke wind at least 42 times a day! We didn't but thought that he had well and truly broken the record!!


Heather, with apologies for lowering the tone of this otherwise erstwhile website!

 

[vclay]

Keeping a straight face

Heather, while on the subject of self control on one of the very early trail rides I had, just me and the instructor, Tommy (the wooden horse on wheels imitation) decided to scratch himself on one of the trees and somehow managed to lodge me behind the branch, his face sticking out in front. I was still on top, but no idea how to get out of this ludicrous situation. Forward would mean the horse returns to the path, but I stay with the branch. Backwards would mean further into the undergrowth.Sideways was beyond my skill at that time. In the end I kind of lay flat on his neck so I could get under the branch.Imagine a plumpish greyhair on a plumpish pony attempting gymnastics in the bush. All this time Virginia watched with a perfectly straight face, asking if I thought I could cope...
She didn't even crack a smile until we got back to the yard and I started telling another Tommy story to add to his large collection.
Pedro, I notice you've been in the arena for nearly all your lessons. Do you get to trail? I'm looking forward to your description of that, now you have more skills, you will find it even more rewarding than your NZ experience- great photos by the way! Vera

 

[Pedro]

Hi everyone!

No Vera, I don't get to trail . I'd love to... I'm itching to do it, screeching like a little boy just thinking about it (better not say "like a little girl" here or I may get lynched ). Unfortunately the area I live in, and where the school is, is a residential area. One foot out of the school limits and we would be dodging cars and jumping walls. I'm sure it would all make a great chronicle though - I'd get material for at least a couple of weeks!

Next summer, if all goes well, I'll be going to Canada for a month. There I'll try to find somewhere to do a one/two days trail ride. There are great places to ride around here, but I'd need both time and decent weather anyway. Maybe by next spring I'll convince a couple more guys and gals from the school to come ride with me for a couple of hours to the Guincho beach area. Now that's an idea!


Pedro Fortunato