Riding again over 60 - and feeling the fear!

Judy S

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Feb 5, 2017
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I am lucky enough to live on Dartmoor and have spent last year getting to know an elderly mare (22) who I have loaned. I keep her at her owner's farm where I have all the best facilities available to use. Having spent recent years riding school cobs and ponies, a 16.2 IDxTB retired Eventer feels to be a very different type of ride. During the warm summer months, she behaved beautifully. I used to ride a lot when younger and owned my own horse for many years, but recently my confidence has deserted me! I now mostly only walk and trot, and she behaves excellently in company, but on her own, she has started to feel anxious, particularly over the winter months. She used to hunt, and it is possible she is looking out for the hunt; she has pranced about a few times and feels more like a 5 year old! She is not clipped and lives out, and is only ridden every other day, so whilst it is great she feels so well, I just wish I had the confidence of my youth to ride her through these odd fizzy moments. At the moment, we are limiting our solitary hacks to short distances to avoid any confrontations, but I am frustrated that there is all that lovely moorland to explore, and I am sticking to the lanes where we are in our comfort zone! Does anyone else have similar issues?
 
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Hello. There are quite a few of us on here that have confidence issues from time to time. You are not alone! I'm sure you'll get lots of helpful replies.
 
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I'm another with confidence issues and I'm only in my forties. Take your time, try and relax. Breathing exercises help, just concentrate on breathing in, and out, letting all your nerves and tension go on the out breath. Singing helps too - doesn't matter what, or how well or badly you sing, just let rip. Sometimes both methods will help the horse relax too.

Try pushing yourself slightly out of your comfort zone every now and then - don't pressure yourself but tell yourself you can do this, it's only scary in your head, nothing bad will happen. Ride positively forward, concentrate on getting the horse to ride lightly between hand and leg, and your confidence should start to develop. Try schooling exercises out on the hack, collection, extension and yielding. And remember, you are not alone.

Hope some of that helps :)
 
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I dont really believe in pushing oneself out of ones comfort zone. I am in my 70s and to be honest, tho I wear a body protector, I dont relish the thought of falling from Grace who is also an ex-eventer.
Last summer, as you describe OP, Grace went like a dream and we had some long free canters in open meadows. But last winter when I was learning to hack her, we progressed very gently - always depending on what she felt like and what I felt like too. So when this winter came, I felt quite confident only to have her start misbehave when the cold weather came. I hack another horse too who demands equal care. That is, these horses misbehave with some other riders and it is easy to assume that (my being a sensitive rider they know) they will be different with me. Indeed they usually are. But when you hear that a horse has bucked in canter or gone out of control with another rider, it is only sensible to take care.

I think of it like driving - how far and how fast you drive a powerful car will depend on the car, the road and how you are feeling - it is a question of judgement. And being older gives one good judgement I feel. My recent rides have been walk and trot and then a gap when I wasnt well. Like you, I know there are the long canters out there but they dont especially frustrate me. When he feels ready and I feel ready, and the foundation is laid we will be speeding about out there. I know because I have been here before. I eventually cantered my old share mare out on my own, I cantered Grace, in the end I canter them all.

But you say you are keeping to the lanes. Are there tracks with a soft surface where you can go? One of the things I do is take the horses to places on the track where they think they usually canter and instead we walk and trot them. We may do a whole circuit at trot and walk - mostly trot. Lots of exercise for the horse and for me, but No canter! Then we may introduces canter with some transitions. Loading the dice in my favour, I always choose a place where the horse is unlikely to race and ignore requests to slow down. We have some short stretches where I can make sure that the horse starts canter only when I say and will keep to canter till I decide she may stop.

I cant answer for your horse because I dont know how she feels when she is ridden by you or is jigging about. But I have been taught both to calm a horse down by my own breathing and relaxing - yet also to recognise and not always to reject a horse's offer of forward motion. One of my RIs always used to say that one could do nothing without that offer of forward movement from the horse. Once one had movement, then one could shape it and use it. Sometimes after a long hack all in trot and Grace has been good and with no unsolicited canter - I do concede at the end and let her go - just out of kindness and if you remember doing that safely last summer, would it be so very different or difficult now?

The difference now could well be that you are riding on a shorter rein - that short rein gives an illusion of control but it may bring up the head in some horses. Their eyes are then on the horizon and they are naturally jittery. If you can keep a feel on the rein but soften and lengthen it, even in winter - in walk and trot, I find that a help - it carries a message that we arent going anywhere fast. I go on slow and lovely rides. I am not a nervous old lady. O no. I am the aristocrat, the owner of a large estate riding out to inspect his land.
 
Thank you...that is a lovely long response from an experienced rider, and I can appreciate the wisdom in what you say.

I would hope that I am quite a sympathetic rider with a light contact, and my odd "moments" have been fortunately few and far between. However, I had a couple of occasions working in the school when after working beautifully for 20 mins or so in walk and trot, collecting, extending, leg yielding all quite freely and willingly, she was resistant to the canter aid, and "propped" after a few strides and reverted to walk, leaving me a little unbalanced. I thought she was going to buck - but she didn't. I did wonder if perhaps her back was stiff due to her age. Was she just telling me she had had enough, or was she picking up on my own anxiety? These thoroughbred types are just that bit more sensitive, and clever too.

The next time in the school, her owner watched to look for any signs of discomfort...and of course, she cantered perfectly and fluidly!

On hacks, she sometimes tenses up and prances before standing and staring into the distance - is this just napping, or is she uncomfortable in the cold winter weather? She doesn't do it when she is out in company, seeming to be energetic and free moving.

I am more used to geldings than mares, and I do also wonder if coming into season might affect her moods.

You might wonder why I have taken on this type of horse; her owner has two young children, and several other horses and ponies to school and exercise, so although she has had Millie since a 3 year old, she needs her to earn her keep, and is generous with hay and use of the facilities; also I need to know that someone will bring her in when the weather turns stormy, or feed her when I am unable to get there - so far it has been a mutually beneficial arrangement, especially when she can ride out with me.
 
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Hey ho - I am not an experienced rider. But I started to ride aged 62 - 15 years ago (with lots of help from NR) and am quite academic - I store up the things I am taught and remember them in a way that child learners dont.. For years I rode mostly two dearly loved mares but both dead now - and that is why, like you, I have been getting used to new horses to hack, with the help all last year of a wise RI escort. A lot of what I wrote for you was an account of what she did for me. For three months I was not brave enough to hack Grace at all and she took me step by step to a real partnership.
Your share probably cantered for her owner because she picks up the familiar thought or feel. Horses canter for me like that. I never got the hang of the BHS leg aids for canter - They know when I am preparing to canter, they know I love canter and they go.
 
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I am a believer in a little of both of what @Skib and @chev have said.

I am not a fan of hacking but do it as I believe it is good for my horses well-being. I have a 8 year old TB ROR. In company he is really good but on his own he can be a little nappy but he is more jogging and sharp more so on the way home.

The weather here has switched between foggy and icy so no hacking for a good few months really.

I had to get brave yesterday and take him out on his own. I lunged him first as he has to do that for his physio then I jumped on. He napped down the drive but I just kicked him through it.

In my head we had to go to a certain point before I would allow us to return. So that is my Chev part I set a goal and that was my turning point. regardless of what he did I was not going to turn for home until I reached that point. However my Skib part is when I got to that point I saw dog loose up a head so I didn't push it turned and headed home. Next time I go out I will push a little further even if its just the next tree/bush/lamp post along or maybe if he is back to non silly pony I will do our usual 5 miles route but Saturday I just went to the point at which I felt comfortable then pushed past it about 10 m.
 
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I am not a fan of hacking but do it as I believe it is good for my horses well-being.

Oh hallelujah:cool:! At least I'm not the sole person on the planet thats not a fan of hacking!!
I like it say once a week but it couldn't be my hobby.
I'm being persistent with my youngster at the moment in order that she "can hack alone" but tbh it doesn't blow my skirt up:p
 
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i hear you!!!

my confidence is fragile and i have young, green pony... im hacking her out a few times a week on my own. i keep her at home with my shetlands so no option but to crack on by myself. It has helped me to lead her out inhand when im not sure, tacked up, me in hat etc and i lead her and if i feel confident enough to hop on i do! ive also booked onto a confidence camp in the summer and there seem to be loads of these popping up all over the country.
 
Oh hallelujah:cool:! At least I'm not the sole person on the planet thats not a fan of hacking!!
I like it say once a week but it couldn't be my hobby.
I'm being persistent with my youngster at the moment in order that she "can hack alone" but tbh it doesn't blow my skirt up:p

LOL I hate it. I think people who hack are ridiculously brave. But like you it has to be done. Also I need to know that I can take him away on his own at comps etc.

I'm OK with another person but hate just hate the roads.
 
I learned to ride only because I wanted to hack. I hated lessons and RIs were horrid to me (my last lesson about a year ago reduced me to tears).
I will trail ride or hack just about anywhere, simply to see the landscape from the back of a horse. Granted I would hate to hack on roads OBC. But it is not brave. People said I was brave to hack my share solo as many people would not hack her. But a horse has a brain. You communicate - your thinking and the horse's thinking.You train it. Just like your dogs when you walk them. It is a human-animal companionship.Of enormous interest to me and greatly rewarding.
 
I agree with your comparison with the dog training relationship; some years ago I purchased an unbroken 3 year old Welsh 13.2hh pony with the intention of turning this pony into a family friend for myself and my children. He wasn't bad to work with but somehow he and I never quite clicked, as I would have liked. However my husband at that time was able to do whatever he wanted with this stroppy youngster; he had never worked with horses and didn't ride, yet on the lunge line, that pony behaved perfectly for him...whereas when I lunged him, he would turn and challenge me with a stare. Probably due to my lack of authority! Eventually (due to my daughter's lack of interest) we sold him on as a recently backed 4 year old to a family with a competent 12 year old who successfully rode him and went on to have a great time together! It is all about personalities that either click..or clash!
 
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LOL I hate it. I think people who hack are ridiculously brave. But like you it has to be done. Also I need to know that I can take him away on his own at comps etc.

I'm OK with another person but hate just hate the roads.

Me too, I think anyone who hacks is megga brave! I started learning properly at 34 because I wanted to hack. That idea quickly disapeared once I realised how hard it could be!
 
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The cold frosty weather puts both my mares on their toes - they were nutters when it was snowing here the other week. Deep breaths and sit tight! And roll on summer!
 
Trewsers - May be they didnt offer you the right horses for your first hacks? I remember my first ever hack so clearly. I never questioned it. In those early days I thought I might forget how to ride if I didnt ride every week so whenever we went away I would hack from the nearest riding school. I hacked all over on any horse I was given.
 
My darling tb mare has a tb brain haha, and she hacks out great when we are with other horses (as long as we are the front horse) and when she's alone she thinks there is a tiger behind every corner. In these situations I have to be the alpha horse and say no its fine and give her confidence. She can read me pretty well so if I get anxious she starts looking for what is scaring me and if she sees nothing she gets more worked up cause she wants to see what I'm 'seeing'. It is defintely easier when other horses are there because you as a rider are more relaxed with a friend to distract you, and also the horse has a friend, they're pack animals so like seeing their buddies!

There has been some great suggestions here for hacking alone, especially setting yourself goals, imagining youre the aristocrat and being big and brave and important, and having a little bit of a relaxed rein - stops you holding the horse smouth and sending signals youre nervous. When I worked with trekkers we would sometimes give the nervous riders a neck strap to hold as well - You could tie an old stirrup leather around her neck (or if you have a breastplate or a martingale but remove the rein attachments) so in the fizzy moments you have something to hold which might help you? If there is something in particular thats scary, and if you and her are good at mounting you could get off and walk past the horse-eating rubbish bin or whatever is spooking her and show her it so she can see its not scary. Then if feeling brave, walk back to where you got off and get back on and ride her past. If its nothing in particular thats spooky, just staring into the distance, you could try distract her, keep her mind busy. Leg yield left, leg yield right so youre zigzagging down the path, do some circles, etc do a couple minutes schooling then move on hacking again. If ground isn't suitable for trotting thats fine you can still leg yield in walk, or do shoulder in etc in walk, move her body around and get her concentrating on you and not the distance. Then have a break by hacking forward again.
 
I have always had confidence issues when hacking! I own a very sensible horse and I can ride him in the open fields of my yard (250 acres) but I can't cross the road and go into the public hacking we have. I am far too scared of other peoples actions - cars, cycles, dogs etc. Everything that I can't control.

Twice a week we ride out into the fields to mentally unwind and when the ground is suitable we have a good blast. I do long to go proper hacking and I know my horse would excel at sponsored rides and TREC, but we don't do it. I have accepted my limitations now and am very happy doing the things that make me happy.
 
Trewsers - May be they didnt offer you the right horses for your first hacks? I remember my first ever hack so clearly. I never questioned it. In those early days I thought I might forget how to ride if I didnt ride every week so whenever we went away I would hack from the nearest riding school. I hacked all over on any horse I was given.

I was fine on school horses / trek centre ones. It was once I bought Storm things changed. I guess I fell in love with her in so many other ways, she was so keen, willing and able in the arena. I sort of turned a blind eye to her nervous ways out hacking. But then time passed so quickly and before I knew it we had both become reliant on schooling or just field plodding. Maybe my next horse will be more suited to hacking - I don't know. I did go through a stage of wondering if it were me and not her, but other horse people confirmed it is mainly her. My confidence on her isn't what it was - I still struggle to believe we managed a whole blissful summer of two hour hacks one year. Where did it all go?:(
 
Hello OP:) I am new to the forum but in the reverse, so-to-speak. I will be 70 this year and have been on family horses since I was two. Paying for my own, non-stop thru life since I was 12. I am down to my last two horses, ages 21 & 22; when they are laid to rest, below the barn with those who have preceded them, it will be the end of a grand Lifetime of horse ownership.

While 22 is no longer considered elderly, it is Senior, therefore you ask some legitimate health questions. Even with a lifetime of owning the same horse(s), it can be difficult to figure out when they are uncomfortable about performing a task and when they are just trying to get out of something:)

To assure my horses (which are lifelong-swim-the-River-and thru-the-woods-trail-horses), are in the best health they can be, given their ages and injuries, I have an equine chiropractor assess them. She is also a DVM and does acupuncture.

Since one horse is seriously insulin resistant and has foundered, she assess them frequently --- big owie on my checkbook but I owe him that for hauling my butt anywhere there wasn't a trail to follow:)

I am also able to watch them in the pasture. Nothing like "at liberty" movement to see if a horse is moving sound or having problems somewhere:)

How long since the mare has had a good physical, including eyes, teeth, some blood work, and a generalized "going over" of the body by a vet to look for soreness or stiffness?

Sometimes, not always, but sometimes standing and staring into the distance can mean eye issues. One of my horses has always stared into the distance and there is nothing wrong with him, lol. The horse with IR will stare and often shake his head --- the vet examined his eyes and declared he has "floaters" in his eyes like many humans get as we age. I empathize with the horse as I have lived with floaters fifteen years or more.

I hope you keep riding and enjoy many more years with this horse:)

However, I had a couple of occasions working in the school when after working beautifully for 20 mins or so in walk and trot, collecting, extending, leg yielding all quite freely and willingly, she was resistant to the canter aid, and "propped" after a few strides and reverted to walk, leaving me a little unbalanced. I thought she was going to buck - but she didn't. I did wonder if perhaps her back was stiff due to her age. Was she just telling me she had had enough, or was she picking up on my own anxiety? These thoroughbred types are just that bit more sensitive, and clever too.

The next time in the school, her owner watched to look for any signs of discomfort...and of course, she cantered perfectly and fluidly!

On hacks, she sometimes tenses up and prances before standing and staring into the distance - is this just napping, or is she uncomfortable in the cold winter weather? She doesn't do it when she is out in company, seeming to be energetic and free moving.

I am more used to geldings than mares, and I do also wonder if coming into season might affect her moods.

You might wonder why I have taken on this type of horse; her owner has two young children, and several other horses and ponies to school and exercise, so although she has had Millie since a 3 year old, she needs her to earn her keep, and is generous with hay and use of the facilities; also I need to know that someone will bring her in when the weather turns stormy, or feed her when I am unable to get there - so far it has been a mutually beneficial arrangement, especially when she can ride out with me.
 
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