Need a confidence boost

[Dreamchaser]

I am lacking a lot of confidence right now. Some confidence issues are new, but others are very old.

I went out on a hack today. There was this huge open field which the other ride I was with galloped through. I cantered and tried to gallop, but as soon as Dolly did I had to pull her back. The actual feeling of galloping scares me. Many years ago I broke my femur from a horse taking off on me. A few years after that a horse again took off on me and I got a concussion (it could have been much worse). The feeling of galloping brings back all of the feelings I had when I couldn't get those horses to stop, knowing I was going to fall off and hurt myself. It is that feeling of no control.

This really shouldn't scare me. Dolly is such a safe horse. She really does take care of me. I mostly can ask her to stop even if the horse ahead of her is galloping.

My mind tells me I won't be able to stop her, she'll make a sharp turn and fall over, she'll spook and shoot to the side and I'll fall off, she'll stop suddenly and I'll keep going.... the list of the things that goes through my mind just keeps going on.

Again, on the same trail, I was cantering down the path with my friend. Cantering in the arena is just fine (and my outdoor arena has no fences around it, so its very open), but out on a trail is a different story. I keep thinking that Dolly will spook and I won't stay on. Interestingly enough, Dolly rarely spooks. She does spook on occasion and definitely more while on a trail than any other time.

Of course, then I have my jumping issues, but I am hoping once I move and am able to jump more than once a week in my lessons, that problem will quickly go away.

So, what would be a good way to solve my other issues? I really want to be able to trust my horse, but my brain just keeps getting in the way!

 

[KarinUS]

Why do you have to gallop? Do you feel happy just cantering?
Just canter for awhile. Some day you'll be bored of it and WANT to gallop (maybe. If you don't I am sure the sky won't fall down either )

 

[Ladyknight]

I know you have probably heard this before, but you can cuild up to it. You know, a very short controlled gallop alone with someone watching in a smaller enclosed paddock space. Then longer and longer and increase the size of the field. then with others?

Also, I found taking lessons on how to fall off helped me. You can never fall off in complete safety, but learning how to calms you so you eventually have a calm feeling about falling, e/g that you know what to do. And you could get Dolly used to things falling off the side of her so you basically eliminate problems associated with falling, until it is not that big of a deal.

Not that Im saying you will fall, but I am the type of person that needs to completely face a problem before I stop being terrified. Deep breathing doesnt always do it

Hope that helps.

Are you more scared of falling and getting hurt, or feeling out of control? Or something else?

 

[Moomin]

have you tried some NLP. Sounds like that will help you, play the video of your gallop in your mind, but where at the moment you imagine it ending in tears, imagine it ending happily i.e. you're still on, horse upright and safe. I always think you're more likely to fall off if you imagine you are going to.

as KarinUS says, the sky won't fall down if you don't do it!! dont put so much pressure on yourself. From what you said theres a few areas you want to change, like riding out and jumping etc, deal with one at a time.

 

[Scarlett 001]

If galloping scares you, then I guess you need to ask - do you feel you should gallop, or do you want to gallop? If the former, then I just would not do it - at least for now. I have no interest in ever galloping at a horse in the future, and that's fine - loads of other things to do.

 

[Dreamchaser]

Why do you have to gallop? Do you feel happy just cantering?
Just canter for awhile. Some day you'll be bored of it and WANT to gallop (maybe. If you don't I am sure the sky won't fall down either )

Haha... you know, its funny. It never actually occured to me that I just could not gallop I guess I so often feel pressured into things that I expect that I must do the things that scare me. I feel as though people expect me to be able to do certain things that I actually do not feel capable of, like galloping or jumping a 2'6 course. Sure, I technically can do it without dying, but the entire time I find myself near tears. If I don't honestly enjoy something, why force myself to do it?

I know you have probably heard this before, but you can cuild up to it. You know, a very short controlled gallop alone with someone watching in a smaller enclosed paddock space. Then longer and longer and increase the size of the field. then with others?

Also, I found taking lessons on how to fall off helped me. You can never fall off in complete safety, but learning how to calms you so you eventually have a calm feeling about falling, e/g that you know what to do. And you could get Dolly used to things falling off the side of her so you basically eliminate problems associated with falling, until it is not that big of a deal.

Not that Im saying you will fall, but I am the type of person that needs to completely face a problem before I stop being terrified. Deep breathing doesnt always do it

Hope that helps.

Are you more scared of falling and getting hurt, or feeling out of control? Or something else?

I don't think building up to it is going to work. I can't even stand sitting to one stride of a gallop without panicking.

Its a combined feeling of being scared of falling off and getting hurt and feeling out of control. Mostly, I think its the falling off that scares me and the feeling out of control is just me knowing that I am going to fall off and hurt myself. I've had some serious accidents in the past, one of which was very serious and I have had to deal with a lot of trama from that one fall. I think my galloping fear still steams from that fall, even if it was seven years ago. I've certainly come a long way though. My first time back on a horse after my fall I burst into tears, even though I was riding the safest horse in the barn and I was being led by a good friend of mine and I was only walking. I'm very thankful to be at the point I am right now.

have you tried some NLP. Sounds like that will help you, play the video of your gallop in your mind, but where at the moment you imagine it ending in tears, imagine it ending happily i.e. you're still on, horse upright and safe. I always think you're more likely to fall off if you imagine you are going to.

That definitely sounds like worth a try! A while back I was trying that to help with my jumping nerves and I do think it did help some.