History repeat itself? almost reported last year....

[lauren123]

Well... This must be bugging me slightly as it nearly 1am, I cant sleep and have to be up for work in 4 hours time!

Summer is coming around quickly so it would seem and me being the worrying idiot that I can be is already worrying!!
Last year a lot of 'stuff' shall we say happened at the yard. Sox decided to add something new to his list of issues which at the time was the least of my worries ( how long the list was) in the form of Laminitis. Yes, go into the vets last august for a lameness work up and come back with my 17hh TB having laminitis. And due to sox being sox he wouldn't box rest. So at the time we ( me and the vets) decided rather then fighting with him. He would have a 20x20 pen in the field on soaked hay . The issue then was due to the stress of him being box rested before he lost weight so I had upped his feed. Then as he responding a little too well I dropped it again. In short he did loose weight, more then I would have wanted to the point where ... People were saying things, but not to me, to other girls on the yard. Even though he was on 'safe' feeds and adlib hay. People saying they would report me and ' would hate to see him get taken off me' Even though he was under the vet ( when is my horse not under the vet!?!) and the vet at the time was happy with his weight and how I was managing him. I have been thinking to myself how can I ever trust these people who felt the need to threaten me with me being reported?!? Something that did make me chuckle, I was being told he had no room ( started off as 16x16 and moved to 20x20) yet the stables are 12x12???

To be honest the whole thing really got to me and I was actually very upset and horrified that someone would think that of me. When I did tell some people they actually couldn't believe what I was telling them and some people, very sadly had the delightful task of listening to me being an emotional mess down the phone!

But then I feel... do I have the word 'Idiot' or 'Mug' written on my forehead as I am still at the same yard!!! At the time I was just thinking of sox. I just kinda feel like having been treated like that then should I have left???

I guess the reason I am still thinking about it is because having to pen sox off for part of the day this year could be one of my few options and I don't want to have to go through the same thing as last year.

I was saying only tonight that when sox suffered with his IBD and litrally was looking like a welfare case. ( at a different yard) not one person ever mentioned reporting or anything of the sort. They were very supportive that I was doing everything I could....

 

[Kite_Rider]

You have to learn to rise above it Lauren, not easy I know, but, if anyone questions your care of Sox just tell them, when they are a qualified vet then they can have an opinion, until that point you will follow your own vets advice.
If people are talking about you behind your back, well let them, hurtful yes, but people I find always seem to have to find someone to bitch about and if you ignore them they will very likely find someone else to pick on, don't let them get to you if you and Sox are otherwise happy where you are, one other thing I've found over the years, no yard is perfect, all yards have a yard know it all and all yards have people who can't help but bitch. Go and enjoy Sox, ignore those who make comments behind your back and smile! Oh and stop worrying.

 

[Mary Poppins]

I agree with @Kite_Rider , you have to rise above it. If you hear any talk like that again, I would very calmly and politely go up to the person(s) involved and directly ask them if they are worried about your horse and if they would like to discuss his care with you. Don't get defensive or angry, just talk to them honestly. It may be that they have genuine concerns.

However, I am guessing that they would be aware that you are following vets advice and it is more likely that they are just being bitchy and horrible. If this is the case you need to simply ignore them and really pity them because they obviously have nothing better to do than try and make other people miserable. It really does tend to be the people who are insecure and miserable in their own lives who try and bully others. You need to have self belief and confidence that you are doing the best for your horse. You really do an amazing job with him - so many people would have given up on him by now, but you have stuck by him and obviously love and care for him very deeply. Hold your head high in the knowledge that he has a safe, happy and loved home with you.

 

[Trewsers]

Trouble is on a yard, it is all too easy for fellow liveries to get "half a tale" and it all quickly turns into chinese whispers or becomes totally distorted. What might have started with someone making a genuine concerned comment has become gossip / chinese whispers. It's awful, I know. Folk don't always get the facts which results in owners getting their feelings hurt or being upset. I would say a big knickers to them all! You follow your vers advice and care so much for Sox, and YOU know the truth and you know how and why he is kept like he is. Anyone else should butt out!!! Sadly they don't - but just grit your teeth and be pleasant and melodious at all times towards them, (plaster a smile on and let it go in one ear and out the other!).

 

[SeeingSpots]

Urgh some people are so mean. People are so quick to pass judgement when they know nothing about what your situation is. It's easy to take things at face value and make an assumption based on what you think you know, and then go on to pass judgement, when in reality, you don't know the half of it and sadly there are so many people like that in the horse world. I see it every day. I used to be so sensitive until I got a horse and joined a livery yard and now I'm like, whatever, It's absolutely true that you have to hold your head high and ignore the lot of them. YOU know what is best and you are following a vet's advice so let them have their 2pence worth and say what they like. Literally be polite to them but ignore what they say. You are the person who knows best and is in charge of your horse and sod anyone who says otherwise. xx