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Help me write the best for sale add

Discussion in 'Ringside Chat' started by Native Lover, Oct 10, 2017.

  1. Native Lover

    Native Lover Native Pony Fan

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    I love Lunnie with al my heart but due to my partners ill health we are seriously cutting back ponies.
    I want to write him the best for sale add I can to help him get a good long term home with the right person.

    MONTAGE resize 1.jpg

    1098044_10201960106628056_308242169_n.jpg

    aDSC_7747_zps403a2a0f.jpg
     
  2. Jessey

    Jessey Well-Known Member

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    That's a shame @Native Lover but he will make some young rider very, very happy, he's an ace boy :D

    I would start with facts (non emotional) about his stats and what he has done, then finish up with a little about him (the emotional bit)

    EG
    Grey x.xhh gelding, Forward going, Jumps well and has done hunter trials & XX & XX, lives out 24/7, easy keeper etc.

    Lunnie is a lovely friendly boy who thrives in a one to one relationship with a confident rider.......etc.
     
  3. Lissie

    Lissie Well-Known Member

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    What @Jessey said. Good photos too can never understand why people have adverts with photos of the horse in a rug or lying down in the stable. I want to know the facts, know if forward or steady. Jumping, what height? Hacking, traffic, alone and in company. Any competition results. Then would suit x rider for x use.
     
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  5. Native Lover

    Native Lover Native Pony Fan

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    Anybody want to help be write it I am crap at this sort of thing :(
     
  6. Lissie

    Lissie Well-Known Member

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    @Native Lover Pm with all his details. Need to know what he's done and doing now. Registered breeding etc.
     
    Kite_Rider, Jessey and Native Lover like this.
  7. Tir

    Tir Member

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    I'm pretty good at adverts. My sister sells one a year usually, but send me a page of waffle and then I do the one that actually gets posted! Happy to help with some more info. :)

    Jot down all the stuff you want to say to give a starting point!
     
  8. HaloHoney

    HaloHoney Active Member

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    I fell in love with this advert:

    "For sale/LWVTB
    9 year old 13hh smart Irish gelding. The gorgeous Tubby is now sadly for sale after the most amazing 3 years with us. Hugely outgrown, we have made the difficult decision to let him go to another family. Tubby by name and by nature, he is a full size horse body on very short legs (shhh don't tell him) meaning that a nervous child remains nice and close to the floor, yet he takes up the leg well enough for a small mum to ride him too. This cute mini cob has done everything with our incredibly nervous middle daughter and is now enjoying life out competing with her more confident younger sister. Her really does step up or down a gear depending on the rider and is a huge confidence giver for a nervous child. He has no ambition to be a world beater, however he jumps nicely round a 60 cm course or will just trot over x poles if wanted. He won the 60cm class at Conquest today in fine style with a fast double clear, then slept between classes outside. He is a complete gentleman to hack (in company or alone) hunt and at shows and is a secret weapon in the gymkhana! He is bombproof in traffic, immaculately behaved on the ground and safe with dogs, chickens and peacocks! He loads himself (in the vain hope there may be some food involved) in trailer or lorry, falls asleep with the farrier, snoozes with clipping, sleeps with grooming and slumbers all day tied up on lorry at a show. Although incredibly laid back, he has lovely paces and is nicely forward going with a better rider but ridden in a hanging cheek snaffle at all times. He has either front shoes or goes barefoot and lives on fresh air. Never had laminitis or any other health concerns despite his portly stature. His only vice is that he loves his food, and if he feels I am starving him (his opinion not mine) he will try free ranging if the electric fence is not switched on. This includes pushing his way through substandard wooden fencing (at least you end up knowing which fencing is good and which needs replacing). His great escape tendencies do not extend to jumping out however as this would be far too much effort. We are keen that he goes on a substantial trial period so any family are sure that he suits them as his 12 year old owner would be heartbroken to see him passed pillar to post. She also wants his quirks to be highlighted - namely if you don't ride him for 6 weeks and then try and canter behind your sister, he may buck you off as the saddle moves round his ears as he is so fat and you haven't tightened your girth. That episode aside, he really is a mothers dream and if you feel he may suit your child, please message me or phone me on 07readacted. Xx"

    Gorgeous photos of him doing everything stated (bar the bucking) accompanied the ad.
     
  9. Lissie

    Lissie Well-Known Member

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    @HaloHoney If I had a kid, that's the sort of pony I'd want!
     
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  10. Jessey

    Jessey Well-Known Member

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    I love that as a follow up, but as a first ad the essay-ness of it put me off reading it thoroughly right away
     
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  11. HaloHoney

    HaloHoney Active Member

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    I've got two kids but can't afford him- otherwise I would!
     
  12. HaloHoney

    HaloHoney Active Member

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    Just a brief summary paragraph at the start would fix that, I think. E.g.

    "For Sale/LWVTB
    9yo 13HH Smart Irish Gelding.
    Confidence-giver, will jump a great clear round at 60cm, do a lovely prelim dressage test, and is a bombproof hack alone or in company.
    Self-loading, travels brilliantly, doddle to clip and shoe (good feet so has been barefoot).
    Suitable for child, for sale as sadly outgrown.

    <insert essay here>"
     
  13. HaloHoney

    HaloHoney Active Member

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    The one thing I noticed beyond everything else when horse shopping was either no photos, rubbish photos, or no videos, worse- videos of a lame horse!
     
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  14. newforest

    newforest Opinion, a view not always based on knowledge.

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    I didn't even read the long winded advert.
    You need bullet point basics first.
    They actually make him sound either fat or out of proportion. 13hh would get me reading on because I can't see a 17" saddle fitting ( that's what I need)
     
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