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A tip for confidence

Discussion in 'Confidence Club' started by Prjsmk, Dec 4, 2017.

  1. Prjsmk

    Prjsmk Well-Known Member

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    I am not an expert or perfect rider! Far from it! But confident with my horse.. Even when he's naughty and tries bolting home for dinner! ... Because i know him. I took the time to get to know him, i watched his body language and study his reactions. I formed a bond. I still work on this at least once a week we have a session on it. If you put a horse infront of me that i didnt know and asked me to ride it, even if it was 100% guaranteed safe, I'd hesitate to get on and id be terrified! Get to know your horse, get confident on the ground. How can you be confident on the horse if you aren't confident working from the ground? Set up some spooky objects in your school, let your horse go, watch the reactions. Save them to your brain so if you are riding and he or she is getting nervy of something you can talk to them tell them its ok, build up a trusting relationship. If you dont trust your horse and get on they will know! Trust them to keep you safe. Always praise there good behaviour alot so they want to please you. Dont spend hours thinking of what might happen, talk yourself in to it not out of it. If you have lost your confidence gain it back taking steps starting with ground work for a while, then just sitting on your horse, even if someone is holding the lead, just sit for a few minutes then get off, then a few paces in walk. Set yourself small achieveable goals so you and your horse feel good after. Feeling good is the key to going further if you feel bad every time it will hold you back. On the plus side if you never ride again you still have a horse to kiss! :)
     
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  2. joellie

    joellie Well-Known Member

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    That is a lovely post with good sensible advice, I hope it helps others with confidence issues. I sometimes can go through periods of not being as confident as I usually am and it is for no apparent reason, it just seems to creep up on me , I just try and ride through it and it usually disappears again.
     
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  3. Skib

    Skib Well-Known Member

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    If you are privileged to own a horse and have somewhere to work from the ground this advice is fine. It is all excellent.
    But many people who come to NR are beginners learning to ride in riding schools. I absolutely agree that hacking a horse one knows and which one rides regularly is a completely wonderful experience and that one needs to put in the time to know a horse and to work with it on the ground even if that is only tacking and untacking and grooming. Although I ride RS horses and RI's horses I am lucky to have had three long term relationships with my special horses.
    However one important part of learning to ride and gaining confidence is being able to ride a horse one has never met before.And that includes judging, before one mounts, whether it is safe to do so, and after mounting in the first few moments, assessing whether one feels safe hacking that particular horse. I have once in Texas declined to hack the horse I was given - and was switched to another.
    In the UK one is always asked to ride an assessment lesson at a new school or before hacking - and this is likely to be on a very safe horse. But all riding tests for the BHS Stages involve riders being allocated an exam horse they have not ridden before. It was part of my rider education to ride any horse I was offered and one has to know what to do - just as one learns to walk, trot and canter one learns to communicate with and assess a new horse.
    My experience is that it is possible to have a bond with a horse (or mule) and to have a most wonderful hack the very first time you ride it. With my share it was not love at first sight - she was a mean old mare. But thinking about this, with my other long term favourites it has been the first ride that fixed the horse in my heart.
     
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  5. Prjsmk

    Prjsmk Well-Known Member

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    My post was obviously aimed at folk with there own horses. If it is riding school offer to do mucking out, tacking up, grooming... Watch some lessons, watch a more experienced rider on the horse(s) you ride. The riding school i was at was grateful of the extra help on busy days and didnt mind spectators. :)
     
  6. Prjsmk

    Prjsmk Well-Known Member

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    It happens to me too, sometimes shaking like a leaf when mounting! But the cob knows me well and does his, im not moving mum till you settle down! Allows me a few moments to sort myself out lol, then we go for a steady stroll nothing too fast or too far just enough to re boost my confidence
     
  7. Trewsers

    Trewsers Well-Known Member

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    Yes you can't beat having a horsey nose to kiss:D
    I have three of those:D:D and only one I ride!!
     
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  8. Prjsmk

    Prjsmk Well-Known Member

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    Kissing is the most important part really lol
     
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  9. Emerz441

    Emerz441 New Member

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    Such a nice post that people can relate to :) I can be very nervous at times. My 18 yr old mare is nightmare but I trust her 110% ( she’s always mistaken for a stallion) but never puts me in harm. Although my new horse has arrived and I’m a bundle of nerves and he’s far better behaved than she is. I’m definitely guilty of talking myself out of things and thinking of the worst possible scenario before it happens. Nice to know I’m not the only one :)
     
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  10. HaloHoney

    HaloHoney Well-Known Member

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    Over the 79 days Flash was in a stable with no turnout, I got to know him. He will give me kisses for polo mints. I watch him listening for the feed buckets at lunch. I just hung out with him. Groomed him. And during his rehab, have got to know him better when riding. I love him even more.

    I think he knows who I am now, whereas before I was just “one of the humans.” This video was later on in the day after he’d been turned out for the first time. I called him from the far side of the field from where I was.

     
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  11. Prjsmk

    Prjsmk Well-Known Member

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    My mums cob mare behaves like a stallion lol! Shes bloody nuts, shes been retired early due to her outbursts lol. She is now enjoying retired life and recently since shes at my field now ive been working on her hround manners and shes been behaving... So far! Lol
     
  12. DaisyAM

    DaisyAM Member

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    As some of you know I moved my horse 5 weeks ago - the yard and other owners are all great and my horse has settled well into the field hierarchy and has made friends. The issue is riding - I left her alone to settle for a couple of weeks and have ridden her in the ménage about half a dozen times and we've hacked out once. In the ménage her behaviour is getting worse - she won't let me mount up (we're spending 5 minutes going to the block, her moving away, me taking her back again until she gives in) and when I do finally mount she wants to charge off and we have a battle of wills. She eventually calms down but I can feel in her body that she wants to shoot off at any minute. Of course this is then self perpetuating as I'm waiting for something to happen (we've had going off into a mad canter in the middle of the school and some bucking) and she must feel nerves from me.
    Anyway, I've booked an instructor to come next weekend as I want regular lessons anyway but she might be able to help with the behaviour. Could be it's still just early days, she'd rather be in the field with her mates, she feels nerves from me and doesn't want to do it etc. etc. It's knocked my confidence though as I've gone from a horse I really trusted to one I'm getting a bit wary of.
     
  13. Trewsers

    Trewsers Well-Known Member

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    Oh that's a shame your confidence has taken a bashing. Hopefully some regular lessons with the instructor will help restore it. Could be your horse is still settling in. Some do take a longer time.
     
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  14. DaisyAM

    DaisyAM Member

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    Thanks, that's the thing I can't determine if its settling in time, or she's just being an arse! I don't know if I left her alone and didn't ride her for a bit if she would be better or then even worse when I tried again. Anyway hopefully the instructor can give some advice!
     
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  15. Kite_Rider

    Kite_Rider Cantering cabbage!

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    @DaisyAM how old is your mate and what is the school surface like?
    This might sound bonkers but I only ask as this was very similar to Belles behaviour in the school earlier in the year, she was even being a bit naughty in the school in hand, so I knew something wasn’t right, long story very short, she’s arthritic in her hocks it seems and that was her telling me she was not comfortable on our surface, we only hack now and she has been back to her lovely reliable self ever since.
    Or maybe she is testing you, it’s good you’ve got the RI coming out so you’ll have eyes on the ground so to speak, good luck and please let us know how you get on.
     
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  16. DaisyAM

    DaisyAM Member

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    Thanks for that, it's an interesting point - she's 15 and the surface is quite soft (not quite sure of the composition). The farrier said a while ago she wad quite stiff in her back legs so I do stretches with her most days but maybe it would be worth getting the vet to have a look. The other option I thought would be to get a more experienced rider (or the RI) on her to see if she does it with them too.
     
  17. Trewsers

    Trewsers Well-Known Member

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    That is a good point. Storm started with her stiff hocks round about 15 and became uninterested in schooling.
     
  18. DaisyAM

    DaisyAM Member

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    Did you opt for any treatment? Was Storm displaying similar behaviour when you say she became uninterested? I'm not really that bothered about schooling TBH, just thought if I was a better rider it would help her generally and its something else to do when I don't have enough time to hack but if she doesn't want to do it, its not the end of the world.
     
  19. Trewsers

    Trewsers Well-Known Member

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    Yes we had hock injections because she was still insured and I thought I'd give them a whirl. They worked but only for a while and then we repeated them. They did improve her stiffness somewhat but unfortunately it does not last forever. She did become a bit trickier in the school but I could never decide if it was simply because I wasn't riding her as regularly or was it a combo of the stiffness. She isn't the easiest of characters so it was hard to tell. Hmm. I would probably have a think about stiffness contributing if I was you, specially if the farrier picked up on it.
     
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  20. HaloHoney

    HaloHoney Well-Known Member

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    What’s she like if you lunge her on that surface?
     
  21. DaisyAM

    DaisyAM Member

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    I've never lunged her and haven't the foggiest how to! Another one for the RI to teach me......
     
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