All in my head

Orenoko

Well-Known Member
Feb 13, 2017
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So as some of you may know from my previous posts, cantering hasn't come easily to me in the past. I'm enjoying things with my share, have had some lessons throughout winter to keep my confidence up, and have been going for some really nice canters recently, even finding myself laughing out loud while I'm going along because I'm enjoying myself so much.

BUT I have this issue with this one long stretch where I have cantered once, and I just can't bring myself to do it again. It's the best cantering spot around for miles and should be a place I can enjoy going. I went up there for the first time a while back, he was going really nicely, but for some reason I just couldn't enjoy it. I was just filled with this sense of dread, like I would never be able to stop, when in reality, he pulled up after I asked a few times and everything was fine. He was never remotely out of control or anything like that.

I know this is a completely psychological thing and nothing to do with him - he's a really safe horse and I know he'll always look after me. Our hacks are generally quiet and uneventful, no spooks, nothing. I can canter anywhere else but this spot just gives me the heeby-jeebies for some reason. I want to go back up there and conquer my fear, but at the same time I don't think I can do it. Some people say I should go up there as soon as possible to just get over it, but others say I shouldn't if I'm not confident. I can see merit to both sides of the argument. Has anyone had similar experiences, and can they share any tips on how they dealt with it? I am getting really frustrated with myself and wish I could just sit back and enjoy the ride so to speak!
 
If you have other places where you can have a nice canter what’s it matter if this one place gives you the willies?
I’d just forget it and make the most of the other places instead if it were me.
No point forcing yourself if it makes you feel really uncomfortable.
 
If you have other places where you can have a nice canter what’s it matter if this one place gives you the willies?
I’d just forget it and make the most of the other places instead if it were me.
No point forcing yourself if it makes you feel really uncomfortable.

This with brass knobs on^^^^^^
There are no "shoulds", apart from the you should just do things that make you feel happy and relaxed together:)
 
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Thanks guys, sometimes it's good to get a different perspective :) for some reason I do feel under pressure to be able to ride this particular spot, others do it all the time so I feel like I 'should' too. I always think in life that if something makes you uncomfortable there's clearly a reason and I wouldn't want to push my luck by trying it when I don't like it. It's just such an odd feeling when I don't feel like that anywhere else :rolleyes:
 
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It may well be that because you feel you should, you are putting pressure on yourself which in tern gives you the jitters.
The other option if you really want to try it would be maybe walk or trot three quarters of the track then just canter the last bit, then every time you go there shorten the distance you walk/trot and increase the canter distance?
 
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I would ask yourself why you want to do it?

Is it because you feel you should do it, because everyone else does? Or do you really want to do it for your own satisfaction? Why does it matter if you don't do it?

I have many riding quirks. We have a haybarn to pass down one of the lanes which takes us to some big riding fields. Once, about 4 years ago now, Ben span and spooked there and I fell off. For years I used to turn it into some huge deal that I HAD to ride him past the haybarn, even though I was scared to. After all, all horses spook sometimes, Ben is fundamentally very safe, everyone else thought I was being stupid so why was it such a big deal to me?

That was until I had a conversation with myself and took the pressure off. I put a tree stump just after the haybarn and now I walk him down the lane, dismount and lead him past the haybarn, and then use the tree stump to get back on. I am happy and Ben doesn't care one little bit. Other people may think it is strange that I do this, but I am really past caring about that and no longer put pressure on myself to live up to other peoples expectations. It has taken me many years to have the confidence to listen to my inner voice and I know that when it tells me to do something, I am better off complying rather than fighting it and becoming and quivering wreak whilst sitting on his back.

I think you should ask yourself why you are putting pressure on yourself to canter in this particular spot. If you find it scary, you find it scary. It is just the way it is and there is no right or wrong about that. You don't need 'fixing' and you don't need to force yourself to do anything that you fundamentally don't want to do. Since I have accepted that I feel scared when I am riding sometimes, I have become much happier in myself and I find a way to work with my nerves rather than against them.
 
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Good post MP.
I agree, there is no need to force yourself to do it if you really don't want to, just because other people do and/or you think you should.
BUT - I suppose it depends on the sort of person you are. I actually enjoy a bit of fear in life... not like bungee jumping or holding a tarantula sort of fear :eek: but the sort of thing we're talking about here, these little tests we come across that encourage us to challenge ourselves and maybe push the boundaries of our comfort zone a little bit. Personally I would want to try it, even if it was just once, and I never did it again. I'd just want the satisfaction of knowing I did it. I'm like that with life in general, but it's particularly true for me as a rider. I have done a LOT of things that scared me to get my riding to where it is now.
Some people want to live within their comfort zone, some people want to expand it sometimes. Both of those are fine. But whatever you do or don't choose to tackle, it should always be your decision, not influenced by what other people think (or what you think they think.)
 
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Thank you all for your replies, it's good to hear that other people sometimes have similar issues. I think that I've built it up to be bigger than it is and now it's become an issue, and because of that, I just want to be able to do it. It's more to do with my own determination and not wanting to be defeated I think, but as others have said I don't NEED to do it. I never feel pressure to do other things I don't enjoy like jumping or dressage, I just need to try and adopt that attitude to this particular issue as well!
 
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