Toying with the idea of selling

squidsin

squidsin

Well-Known Member
Feb 16, 2013
5,146
2,126
113
I'm toying with the idea of selling Angel and getting a slightly easier horse. I really enjoy riding her and she's an honest and scopey jumper BUT she's a stresshead (being a Dutch Warmblood mare) who hates being away from other horses, and as I currently only have one horse, she's difficult for me to manage on her own. I can't coordinate it so she's always with another horse, and if she's not, she gets really sweaty and agitated. This means in winter I am going to have to trek out to a different field right across the farm to bring in my friend's gelding so that she'll have company when she starts coming in - he lives out but I am allowed to 'borrow' him. Also, I can't hack her out on her own at the moment as she gets too agitated and it's not fun for either of us.

Hmmmm. I do think she's a sweetie but I don't feel like we've really bonded either. I've got a week off next week which I will spend with her, and review at the end of it. I feel like I'd probably be better off with a sensible cold-blooded gelding though.
 
Sell - absolutely no question in my mind - you sound like you are at the stage I got to with JJ (had him 2 years) the pleasure of riding was slowly ebbing away and I had to just admit he wasn't the horse for me, I was very fond of him but have to say he was one of the few horses I never felt particularly bonded with and at the time I felt guilty even admitting that to myself as I felt after 2 years I should have that bonded for life feeling. Then when the opportunity came to sell him to someone I (at the time!) trusted to look after him well and enjoy him far more than I ever would, I let him go. Best decision ever for me.

Strangely when I look back now he was probably a better behaved ride than Dolly in many ways - but I actually feel more safe on her than I ever did on him? Bizzare! :D Good luck whatever you decide.
 
  • Like
Reactions: squidsin
Yes, that does sound like me too Cortrasna. She's a great horse and I can sell her on with a clear conscience knowing that I've got her going nicely in an outline and she'll be a great ride for someone else, and she's a healthy young horse still so got plenty of competition years ahead of her. But she's not quite right for me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cortrasna
Tough one, once the thought is there it can be hard to get over and if it's always in the back your mind that you might sell it can be harder to get that bond. Do you think she might get less stressy and settle down more? How long have you had her?

Winter sounds like it's going to be hard work and I wouldn't like not being able to hack alone. But it all comes down to you, are you happy with it?

Wouldn't be put off all mares though, I have only ever had geldings wouldn't even consider a mare until Lottie. She is the sweetest, most easy horse I've ever had. Goes out on her own with no other horses in sight, comes in on her own. Never mareish, can't tell when she's in season. All my boys have been good but not like her, they all seem so different whether mares or geldings.
 
squidsin said:
Yes, that does sound like me too Cortrasna. She's a great horse and I can sell her on with a clear conscience knowing that I've got her going nicely in an outline and she'll be a great ride for someone else, and she's a healthy young horse still so got plenty of competition years ahead of her. But she's not quite right for me.
Click to expand...

Ahh you must of posted whilst I was typing. I think you know what you want and that's to sell. Good to take a week to review and decide. They take up to much time and money to not feel quite right, good luck either way!
 
Lissie said:
Tough one, once the thought is there it can be hard to get over and if it's always in the back your mind that you might sell it can be harder to get that bond. Do you think she might get less stressy and settle down more? How long have you had her?

Winter sounds like it's going to be hard work and I wouldn't like not being able to hack alone. But it all comes down to you, are you happy with it?

Wouldn't be put off all mares though, I have only ever had geldings wouldn't even consider a mare until Lottie. She is the sweetest, most easy horse I've ever had. Goes out on her own with no other horses in sight, comes in on her own. Never mareish, can't tell when she's in season. All my boys have been good but not like her, they all seem so different whether mares or geldings.
Click to expand...
Lissie said:
Tough one, once the thought is there it can be hard to get over and if it's always in the back your mind that you might sell it can be harder to get that bond. Do you think she might get less stressy and settle down more? How long have you had her?

Winter sounds like it's going to be hard work and I wouldn't like not being able to hack alone. But it all comes down to you, are you happy with it?

Wouldn't be put off all mares though, I have only ever had geldings wouldn't even consider a mare until Lottie. She is the sweetest, most easy horse I've ever had. Goes out on her own with no other horses in sight, comes in on her own. Never mareish, can't tell when she's in season. All my boys have been good but not like her, they all seem so different whether mares or geldings.
Click to expand...

I'd quite like to try a gelding! I've only had mares and while lovely, they can be hard work - I know that's prob true of all horses but I've never had a gelding to compare with!

I've had her since November and she just IS stressy. It's attachment issues with her - she's good as gold in company but panics if you try and take her out of it. I find her challenging on the ground as she has no respect when she's worried and will run through me. I've tried calmers/a dually/groundwork but none of them really make any difference in addressing the root cause of the behaviour, which is separation anxiety. She's talented and willing under saddle but I feel she might do a lot better in a busy yard for someone who's perhaps got a string of horses, or has the time to work her hard, which also definitely helps - I am never going to have that much time until the kids leave home!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jessey
If you haven't clicked perhaps moving on is best for both of you, but if it just the separation thing blocking your relationship you could try a few things to help her cope (If you haven't already) like a stable mirror or a daily calmer? ETA ignore all that, I cross posted with you, I can see you've tried it all :(

I couldn't have a horse that can't function alone, Jess is the most independent I've had, though I've has several that needed help to cope (all geldings). Hank is a bit like that, tentative when out alone, a prat if he hasn't been left alone regularly, last night I walked Jess 75 yards up the road to see how she was looking and he had a melt down, so bad his breathing had me quite worried for 5 mins after :eek: he calmed down by the time I tacked up so I left him on purpose, we were out for 15 mins and he had sweated a blanket clip by the time we got back and all because he hasn't been left alone for 2 weeks, when left regularly he only fusses for 5 mins before settling next to the neighbours horses :rolleyes:
 
Last edited:
I would sell, not so much about the bonding thing but because of her separation anxiety and stressiness. It sounds as though she would be happier on a busy yard, maybe a competition yard, where she will be worked and travelled with horses around her. When you have a leisure horse and you only have one horse, it really has to fit around you and that means being ok alone.

As you say, she's a fine horse and you should be able to find a good home for her. Then we get the fun of horse hunting for you!
 
  • Like
Reactions: squidsin
Same @Jessey all the horses I know with separation anxiety are geldings. My mare is the
squidsin said:
I'd quite like to try a gelding! I've only had mares and while lovely, they can be hard work - I know that's prob true of all horses but I've never had a gelding to compare with!

I've had her since November and she just IS stressy. It's attachment issues with her - she's good as gold in company but panics if you try and take her out of it. I find her challenging on the ground as she has no respect when she's worried and will run through me. I've tried calmers/a dually/groundwork but none of them really make any difference in addressing the root cause of the behaviour, which is separation anxiety. She's talented and willing under saddle but I feel she might do a lot better in a busy yard for someone who's perhaps got a string of horses, or has the time to work her hard, which also definitely helps - I am never going to have that much time until the kids leave home!
Click to expand...

I'd sell, you don't sound like you're enjoying it and have tried hard with her to help her settle and the separation anxiety. It sounds like she'd be better suited to a busier home. I'm a gelding person but don't rule a mare simply because it's a mare. I very nearly did with Lottie and would of massively missed out.
 
  • Like
Reactions: squidsin
Jane&Ziggy said:
I would sell, not so much about the bonding thing but because of her separation anxiety and stressiness. It sounds as though she would be happier on a busy yard, maybe a competition yard, where she will be worked and travelled with horses around her. When you have a leisure horse and you only have one horse, it really has to fit around you and that means being ok alone.

As you say, she's a fine horse and you should be able to find a good home for her. Then we get the fun of horse hunting for you!
Click to expand...
That is the bottom line really isn't it? Lovely though she is, I am tearing my hair out about getting her to settle. We're on the third yard now. At the moment, the mares in her field are taken out for feeding between 11 and 2ish and she goes nuts running around the field. She's pulled off a couple of shoes doing it. It's been a month and she still stresses every single time. If I take her out and put her in her stable, she's even worse as her block doesn't have any other horses in it during the day. She just runs round her stable neighing! She loved camp because we were surrounded by horses and people bustling about all day long. That's the sort of environment she will thrive in, and I can't give it to her.
 
Last edited:
If you don't feel a bond and she's perfectly healthy and talented and will go on to find a home where they can work her socks off and maybe have other horses so the separation anxiety can be easily addessed then I'd sell her on. You are busy and it sounds like you've tried lots of things to make it work and it's just not working out. It can be so hit and miss. We've hit the jackpot with Zi (also a dutch warmblood) but he is the most laid back un stressy gelding I have ever known. Perhaps as well, as he's pretty big to be stressy or anxious!!!
Good luck with whatever you decide.
 
  • Like
Reactions: squidsin
@squidsin I feel stressed just thinking about managing her so can imagine how you feel. Life's too short I'd sell her and look for something easier to manage. Lottie's independent character is something I really like about it makes life's a lot easier. She is alone when I bring her in as I'm down first and is sometimes turned out alone she never makes a fuss doesn't even look for others and hasn't even neighed yet. If you do look for another I'd reccomend a wanted advert on horse quest, I got quite a few people contacting me and was how I found Lottie.
 
  • Like
Reactions: squidsin
I'd sell TBH cause life's too short to not 100% enjoy your horsey time. She may not be your perfect horse but she may be someone else's. It's not selfish or unfair to want to find a horse who you can spend quality time with without feeling stressed. I totally sympathise as I have a similar situation to yours as in I'm torn and I have been for a while now, my coblet is nice and forward and always tries his best but he's not a born competition horse, I often wonder if I should sell him and get a id x or similar? Thing is I have bonded with him and if I'm been honest love him so much I've almost started to accept he's never going to be exactly what I want but...( I don't have a massive amount of time to compete due to my daughters also riding anyway) and we do have loads of fun and his personality is second to none. The difference being me and my cob have clicked and if we hadn't I'd of no doubt let him go, I overlook his shortfalls cause we are a team and as the saying goes love is blind:D However if I were in your shoes with the type of problems you described and a horse you don't feel you have clicked with, then I'd be calling it a day, you have tried and I'm sure it's not been a snap decision. Good luck with whatever you decide x
 
  • Like
Reactions: squidsin and orbvalley
When you are no longer enjoying it then enough is enough.

I prefer geldings as they are generally less stress you and easier to manage, mares may try their heart out for you etc but all my geldings have as well and weren't half the bother the mares have been.
 
  • Like
Reactions: tikkitti and Flipo's Mum
I had a mare that suffered with separation. She actually lived alone because the previous owner said that was the only way she could settle.
If I ever met up with a friend we had the napping back to our place and a few days of running up the fence line after. But on her own it worked well because I just had a field and wasnt on a yard. The yard setting wouldn't have suited because she would have stressed over the other horses she couldn't be with.
She wasn't competiton material accept showing where you are all in the ring together.

Has Angel come from somewhere where she has always worked with others? Mine spent ten years as a lead mare for riding holidays, so she came in and worked with her companions all the time.
 
Angel is going off on sales livery this weekend. My friend who is a 2 star eventer is going to sell her for me.

So...if you fancy finding me a new horse, please go ahead! Requirements are: gelding, 15hh-16hh, 10 years or younger, laid-back, not too hairy/feathery (as that's just not to my taste), not a weight carrier as I'm quite a light adult, happy hacker, capable of jumping BE80s (in all honesty, I think most horses are capable of jumping BE80s), calm enough to ride and lead my 6-year old daughter as planning to get her a pony on loan next year, easy to do with no stable vices. I don't care about colour or breed but not a TB/warmblood. Budget wise it depends on how much Angel goes for, but I think I should have around £4K to spend. I haven't seen a single horse I like online yet!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lissie, newforest, Jessey and 1 other person
newrider.com
Top Bottom
Back